Rudolph and the Boys

Tis the Christmas holiday season. Football, football and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I had forgotten how excited Lucas and Eli are to watch every holiday program on the air.

The first year they were home Rudolph made absolutely no sense and the Abominable Snow Monster was the scariest thing imaginable.

Last year we spent the entire hour explaining e v e r y t h i n g throughout the entire hour.

This year apparently we turned a corner with the Rudolph experience. They were both still just as excited, they made us promise that they'd be home from basketball practice in time to watch it. But this year there were no explanations needed, no hiding behind the pillows. They sat quietly, absorbed 150% in a holiday tradition that both Mike and I and the girls all have in our memories. It would be one of those links that are established within an adoptive family that a person doesn't necessarily read in the billion adoption books or enters an adoptive parents' mind when you are looking for ways to involve and introduce family traditions. That is until you are like us, perhaps two years down the road of adoption, with a few holidays under your belt and instead of watching the holiday classics, you are watching your sons enjoy a tradition that they can fully understand and absorb into themselves.

To watch them enjoy and not stress over a holiday happening is a reminder on how stressful this time of year can be for them. Chaos is not our friend on a good day, throw in larger crowds, rich and sugary foods and over stimulation is a small description of the havoc holidays can create for them. It was really nice to witness even this small piece of the holidays being enjoyed by the boys.

Rudolph is the first of what will hopefully be more enjoyable, less stressful holiday happenings. Although getting them to bed after they gave the play by play of what Rudolph said and what the snow monster did was another post entirely.

Caution to All Little Butts

Hope everyone had a special Thanksgiving holiday. Ours was hectic, fun, hectic and busy. Notice a theme? Why we decide that an extended break for a holiday is a green light for house improvements is beyond me. Throw in the fact that Friday was my birthday and then because I'm apparently old, senile and gullible agree that, "Yes. It would be ok to re-floor and put in a new toilet....as my gift." What can I say. I got my first AARP letter the other day....thus old, senile and gullible were my other birthday gifts.

So after two days Mike and I, along with all 5 of our children at one point or another, supervising us installed the new flooring and the commode. The only thing we didn't run by Lucas and Eli was the selection of the toilet itself. They apparently have very strong feelings about their primary bathroom fixture as discussed where else but at the Sunday dinner table.

With all of our family in attendance, Lucas starts out with, "Hey! What do you think you are doing. That toilet is too big. I'm Filipino. I have little butt, that hole is too big, I will fall in it." With the added support of Eli, who had apparently already taken a dip into the bowl prior to it's placement, quickly agreed. His view point, "YEAH! I have the Filipino little butt, we don't need no big hole! I'm scared I fall in and go down."

Yes we laughed....come on you are too!

20/20 Hindsight

After nearly two years with Lucas and Eli being part of our family you would think that we would have covered a lot of ground as far as memories that the boys' have of their lives in the Philippines. We have done a lot of talking about a lot of different things, sometimes we visit those same things to the point of wanting to paint pictures.

These memories can be quite complex or the most basic of things. From people, places, illnesses, general daily living to their earliest memories of their birth mother and family. It still blows me away as to how much Lucas knows about his biological mother and their lives before being placed at RSCC Zamboanga. He was 3 years old. Can you remember things when you were 3? Between his memories and the information we have received we can sort through and piece together a lot of things.

The latest concentration of discussion has been concerning the trip we took to Manila to pick up the boys in 2009. Lucas and Eli have both been reminiscing about the Holiday Inn Galleria Hotel where we stayed. Now granted it was their first experience in a hotel of any kind and the fact that they'd just been handed over to people that looked nothing like them and they knew only basic things about and had no communication beyond yes and no......so no doubt that was a very memorable time.

This particular trip down memory lane had nothing to do with any of that trauma but with the breakfast buffet at the hotel. It was AMAZING! according to Lucas and if you listen to Eli is was EVERYTHING I WANT! They know exactly what they ate, where they sat and who sat by who.

I look back at pictures from those mornings and I think I see shell shocked little boys, which they were but they were also little video/audio recorders that have the abilities to replay and use exact wording for conversations. I could not come up with half the memories they dredge up but once they start the trip down memory lane it all comes back clearly.....the sausages at breakfast, the 4 different kinds of juice Eli had to have before we figured out which kind he liked, the unexpected dip in the pool where Mike had to fish Eli out, the boys sitting on the bed with Sydney watching cartoons, the list goes on and on.

For their sakes I hope they can retain these memories. We write as much down as possible. Sometimes we find that we have to correct their perceptions of what was actually happening vs. the kids' point of view. We always wondered when adoptive parents know when is the right time to talk about the past with their kids and for us the kids are leading the way. I suppose in some ways it's not too different from talking with your biological kids about tough subjects, kids absorb things at their own pace and if you are careful and watchful you can all have 20/20 hindsight.

This Filipino Not Stopping Til I'm Full

The newest food sensation for Lucas and Eli is homemade chicken and noodles. Eli will stop after two bowls but Lucas would eat until he explodes.

Tonight he was asking for his 3rd helping (the first 2 were huge) and Sydney said, "Bud, you've had two and I've had one. I'm stuffed so you have to be getting full."

Very calmly and with "superior brotherly attitude" he said, "This Filipino is not stopping until I am full. I am not full, I am not stopping." .......so a 1/2 serving later this Filipino's mom called a stop and if by his over extended, groaning when getting up from the table was an indication he should probably have listened to his wiser older sister.

Two Years Ago Today

Free slideshow made with Smilebox

A Sad Day In The Neighborhood

No.....no one died, the dog didn't run away and there were no injuries. The major tragedy to occur this week-end (at least from the boys' perspective) was the dismantling of the trampoline. I know. It's not like there aren't far graver things happening in the world today but for two boys who have bounced themselves goofy over the past 7 months and a mom that always knew where to start looking when they were outside this fixture of our yard will be missed.

Winter is pressing towards us so it was time to dismantle and wait for spring to arrive or chase it across the county when the winter winds start blowing. I do have to correct an earlier statement, there was an injury....Eli is now sporting a new crease in his forehead and an appreciation of not getting too close to his brother when he has a trampoline leg in his hands.

The Girl Can Sing and A Smile Worth Millions

This week-end we had the awe inspiring, pride filled opportunity to watch Sydney in her last high school play/musical. Every other year our school does a musical, the next a play. This years' musical was Cinderella. No Sydney was not Cinderella but the Wicked Stepmother. Her sisters claim she has had a lot of practice being loud and "mean" at home....I think they provided a lot of opportunity and example for her to learn from......

If you have had the "pleasure" of a child practicing for months on end for a play, you will totally understand when I say, "it was time to get the show on the road." Long rehearsals, no family time, constant running back and forth to school, drama all the time from a stressed out, worn out teenager who is filling out college paperwork and taking some college courses and maintaining high school homework...does not always leave room for the most pleasant few months.

The stress this week was a dress rehearsal where the costumes did not fit almost the entire cast...they were done professionally...they are supposed to receive refunds....a matinee for the elementary students where Sydney scared some of them and now they won't come near her at school....how they recognize her is one for the books, she looks nothing like herself. I digress but let me say, I greatly dislike the week of performance.

On Friday we all went to watch opening night, we had seen Sydney in makeup and hair so that wasn't a surprise, what did knock all 10 of her family on their collective butts was when she sang. H O L Y S M O K E S! The girl can sing! How could any of us live around her for 18 years and not know what kind of voice she packs in that 5' body? Yes, we go to choir concerts, swing choir events but those are group efforts. For someone who is pretty quiet except when driving her point across to her brothers....WOW! I won't soon forget sitting in the auditorium listening to her first song and looking over at Alison and Rachel, beside me and seeing the same look on their faces of what I'm sure was on my face. I also now understand why those elementary kids are afraid of her....she plays one very scary step-mother.

Afterwards, the cast go out front to meet the audience and while there a lady brought two of her daughters up to Sydney. She said they wanted to talk to her but were scared. Sydney got down on the floor and tried to make them comfortable but with full make up and costume it was still a bit hard for them to realize that she wasn't the person up on stage and wasn't going to hit them with a broom like she had Cinderella.

The last little bit I'd like to share is the reactions of Lucas and Eli. You have to understand that over the past several months they have sat through rehearsals with Sydney until we pick them up after work. Usually it was about 15 minutes a few times a week. In those 15 minutes, they learned dialogue and the songs, if an understudy had been needed they could have stepped in. They can tell you almost any line in the play and sing all the songs at high volume whenever the mood strikes.....can't say as I will miss some of them as they grate on the nerves after 150,000 recitations.

During the play, while watching Sydney on stage, I could see the boys in the row in front of us. They were on the edge of their seats, laughing, clapping and generally 100% engrossed. It made me think of last years' play and the first time they had experienced something like it. They were scared, didn't like black out, couldn't sit still, overstimulated by the crowd and didn't get two steps from us.

This year was about as opposite as you can get. Comfortable and engaged. They both asked to go to the restroom. Why is this important? They KNEW where it was, weren't afraid to navigate the crowd and asked at appropriate times....then during the play they were laughing and clapping...totally understanding what was happening...that didn't happen a year ago. The very best part of watching them was when Eli took Sydney a bouquet of flowers up onto the stage, hugged her and turned around and smiled at the crowd. The kid just did something that was so far beyond him last year that I can't do it justice. It was another one of those moments where as a parent you think..."wow, would you look at that...just look at them go!"

Can't Say It Enough

I sometimes feel silly writing so much about how proud I am of Lucas and Eli and for that matter, Alison, Rachel and Sydney.

Our household has been very full this past week. We have friends staying with us. It has added 4 more people and a whole lot of activity, fun, work and close quarters. I'm not complaining about that...we are very fortunate to be able to make room.

We are grateful that our kids have the opportunity to witness friendship and understanding up close. Let's face it practical applications of these traits works much better than telling your kids what a friend is, how they behave or the sacrifices a friend may have to make.

Sydney, Lucas and Eli have met that call for friendship this week above and beyond our expectations. They have opened their hearts, their home, their personal items, toys and their parents' time, sharing all of it and with no complaints.

For Lucas and Eli, two years ago they had no personal "special" things to call their own. We've all worked to bring them an understanding of things and people that they can claim as their own. Now they not only claim toys, clothes and a home but they are to a point where they can now share and give back to others. If it were myself in their shoes it would be very easy to be selfish and possessive. This is where I stand amazed. I'm not saying that they don't have the ability to be selfish and possessive at times....they are kids.....but I do think that they recognize others in need and it gives them such joy to have things that they claim as their own and are able to share.

When you spent your first 8 and 9 years being given things from others, to be able to be in a place to finally give back is a lesson that they've passed with flying colors.

Oops, I Didn't See The Signs

You may know how it feels as a parent to have excellent 20/20 hindsight. When you kick yourself for not paying attention and reading your kids non verbal signs. I find myself becoming less aware of the visual/non verbal signs with the boys as they're developing more complex English. That's where the oops factor comes in.

I'm not sure at what point if ever we will be able to know they will express themselves 100% of the time. Don't get me wrong they do sooooo much better than where we started from. Case in point; last night Eli brought his homework paper to me and we set down at the table to work on it. I should also point out that he really wants to do his homework but there are times when he can't. He doesn't have the skill set yet. I also know that he tends to be easily distracted, I'm not blind to this either. I will probably make all you school employees cringe when I say...I don't care if he gets his homework done like everyone else or at all. If the work is so far beyond where he is that we have no way to connect the dots...we don't do it. We are also very lucky that our school and teachers know this. Most of the time things are adjusted, sometimes they aren't. As long as we move forward we are ok.

Last nights' homework was a variation of a book report that was read to the kids in class by a parent. That's what info I had from Eli. I hate book reports for ELL kids....no I did not say that to him but my prejudice on this probably helped lead to the missed sign from him. We tried to talk about the book but he got very quiet which sometimes means "I wasn't paying attention and now my mom knows." So what is the mature mother to do. I said, "Fine if you aren't willing to at least tell me what you can remember (I don't care what little piece they give me, just so that they were able to get something) than you will need to explain to the teacher why your homework isn't done."

I went to the laundry room and then it hit me. The look on his face, his body language and his shrugging. Oh! Darn! I missed it. I called him into the laundry room and said, "Hey E, is something wrong. I'm not mad but do you want to tell me what's wrong?" His first reaction is to think when it comes to school that adults are mad at him. It's a left over gift from his earliest school experiences. He stood there for about 2 seconds and then I was enveloped in a full body hug and the tears came. He had a "bad" head (headache)and didn't feel good all day and he didn't understand why he couldn't tell me the story. I reminded him that we have medicine for when he doesn't feel good but that he has to tell me because sometimes mom can't guess. I asked if he'd like to go find something to help his headache. Once again I was honored with a huge hug and then even better..."I love you Mom!" Lesson to me: PAY ATTENTION!

Sometimes it feels like I'm always about 3 steps behind when either of the boys feel ill. They tough out a lot of things and although it's much better they just don't think anything about feeling bad and that there are things we can do to make them feel better. I'll be so glad when and if those coping skills are gone. It masks a lot of things not only at home but at school and with others who will not have the time or desire to investigate.

Lecturing the Selective Listener

Guest Lecturers: Lucas and Eli
Selective Listeners: Lucas and Eli

On Sunday I gave the go ahead for the massive clean out of the spare room downstairs that Lucas has requested for HIS VERY OWN! It used to be Alison then Rachel's but for the past year and half it's pretty much turned into a mess. So what else does everyone want to do on what is probably the last pleasant fall Sunday......clean, sort, throw away, repeat.

Sydney appeared from the clean out area (I assigned myself brownie baking duty) and said, "Mom, you won't believe those guys. They sound just like dad. Lucas is telling Eli, just dig in, just get it done, pitch in, stop whining. Eli is telling Lucas...you dig in! you keep going! you stop bossing! It's your room, you DO IT!" She said they were all 3 standing in the middle, each bossing the others. Three bosses in a 12 x 11 room...not enough space for that many chiefs. Sydney made a good choice and went to her own room to clean.

Girls Are Not Like Trading Cards

Lucas and Eli like the girls. All girls, all women, anyone of the female persuasion from the age of 0-98.....they haven't met anyone older than 98 so the jury is out on that one. I was a little concerned with their need to talk about their "girlfriends" until I hung out with a couple of their friends and apparently 10 and 11 year old boys have their own definition of "girlfriend".

The one thing these Casanova's don't have is discretion or discernment when talking about these so called girlfriends. It is the sworn duty however of Alison, Rachel and Sydney to broaden their horizons in relation to how one respects, speaks of and generally treat their "girlfriends". Some lessons come easier than others. Some lessons are very loud.

At supper the other night (Sydney's boyfriend Parker in attendance) Lucas and Eli begin bragging about their girlfriends. At one point throwing Parker under the bus by asking him about his other girlfriends and if he was marrying Sydney. I'm really surprised someone hasn't choked to death......or been choked to death..... at one of our meals.

The conversations then switched into another downhill direction where upon the boys thought they would decide who could claim which girls. Similar to trading baseball cards. That would be when Parker choked, Sydney became a very animated, vigorous, LOUD instructor on boyfriend/girlfriend 101. Lucas and Eli have not brought the subject up again....at least with their sister.

Worm Bitten

Ha! What were you all thinking?

For the past several days Lucas has been turned into a book worm and some how that has turned Eli into a book worm also. Lucas proudly finished up a 214 page book (he made sure several dozen times that I knew the exact number of pages). The largest book he has ever read. He's all about earning reader points for school. He's a little competitive.

We actually had a book war of sorts after school on Wednesday. While waiting for Sydney to arrive from the high school to pick them up, they sat reading. Eli decided he wanted Lucas' book, Lucas let him look but once Syd arrived on the scene there was a possessive tug of war over the much coveted book. Luckily we don't have to replace the book in question, it survived.

Wednesday night after Lucas had finished with the book, Eli grabbed it and was on the couch reading it when all of the sudden he busted out laughing. Not just a giggle or chuckle but a prolonged belly laugh.....he got the joke in the book. Humor, especially written, is something that is very hard for them to understand in English. That's not to say that each of them think they are the funniest person to ever exist.

Lucas has a pretty huge accomplishment in reading that large of a book. Reading in English 2 years ago was non existent for the most part. Eli didn't read at all 2 years ago in any language, now he's able to not only read but find the humor hidden within the pages.

Online Monitoring Your Kids

No this is not about monitoring your children's internet usage. It's about a conversation that started with Lucas and Eli when I asked if they were getting more than one milk a day at school....they know that they should only have one at lunch and one at snack time.

Of course we had the immediate reaction of, "No! We only get one." I said, "Hmmm. That's funny the computer shows me that you are both getting two milks each day." Now it was not my intended purpose to freak them out but sometimes they just take the conversation ball and let it run all over themselves. A parent can learn the most interesting things this way.

They have been to my office at the school I work in and have seen our security cameras on my computer. For whatever reason, in a split second they both assumed that I could watch them at their school on the cameras and knew everything they do....all day long. So when they continued to freak out about it they just kept digging the hole a little deeper and then started piling dirt on the other brother. Can you say tattling.

At this point neither Mike nor I can get too worried about anything they are freaking about because let's face it, what freaks out 10 and 11 year old boys for the most part isn't too bad....that will hit about 13?

Now before anyone freaks out on behalf of the boys, I tried several times to correct the assumption that I could "see" them and that I only meant I could view their purchases online through the school website but let me tell you when two Filipino brothers start dishing dirt on the other in order to get out of trouble themselves, it's loud, it's non stop and it's fast. I'm going to let this mistaken superpower of observation that they think I possess ride for a few days and see what other little tidbits spill forth. Boy oh boy if I can convince them that as teenagers their cars will all have video surveillance that would be sweet.

Ramps, Risk and Recovery

Guess what? I have no idea what so ever as to why the male species defies logic and common sense.

I have 3 people of the male persuasion (one being a decidedly "adult" husband) who have constructed some sort of haphazard ramp system in our front yard/patio area from which the other 2 males (risk taking sons) are launching themselves and their bicycles from as I type.

From my motherly eyes (in the house where I'm biting my tongue because everyone says this is how boys learn) I can see:

1. this ramp involves 2 boards of questionable integrity and size


2. an old railroad tie that probably has a trillion splinters waiting to embed in some one's nether regions


3. 2 overly sugared up boys who are fighting over who gets the privilege of experiencing the ramp of wonder first


4. a husband who is proudly grinning ear to ear that his sons are such marvels of construction.

They've got the ramp, they have the no holds barred mentality now I wonder if they've thought about which one of them has to come inside to tell me that they will need the band aids, Bactine and splinter extractor......hmmmm think its probably a good time to stop watching.

Being Wanted

How does a parent, biological or adoptive, explain to their child why they were wanted? Some of you may have encountered this question and probably have found a very good way of explaining. So far we continue to search out more and more ways to explain this to Lucas and Eli.

I've been wondering for several days what it is that Lucas is so heavily thinking about. Last night it was him saying that he's home, that gave me a clue. Sunday after lunch he came up to me and said, "Thanks mom." I thought it was for lunch. But then he continued on with, "I have a family. In the Philippines I did not have a family. I didn't have anyone to sit with when I ate. Now I have my family and we all sit together. I love my family. You came to Philippines to get me so I could come here and have a family, right?"

So with my hands full of dirty dishes and a messed up kitchen I was left trying to find yet another way to explain the logistics of his adoption. One of the things that stumps us quite often is not being able to use the word adoption in our explanations. We can use it but it means absolutely nothing to them. Adoption was something that was not explained to them before we met. It's not a concept that was ever introduced. Lucas and Eli knew they would be coming to live with a new family in America but had no true understanding that they would be members of that family or what a family actually was.

They have over the course of the last two years learned in baby steps what being in a family is like. In the same respect they are learning what they missed out on during their time in an orphanage. It's a double edged sword. A whole lot of whys and very few concrete answers that make sense to their eleven and ten year old minds.

I guess that what we are all learning is that the words really don't mean a whole lot. It is the consistent, day in day out, year after year living that will explain some of the questions. Other questions will have to evolve as we all increase our understanding of each other. In between times there will probably be more answers given over dirty dishes, messy rooms and meals and probably a whole lot more heavy thinking.

"I'm Home"

Have you ever thought or said those words after being away from home for any length of time? Did you ever consider what those words meant? What or where is your home? What makes a home? I don't like to be away from home for very long at a time. I get that from my dad. He would take us on these great road trips but they were a whirlwind, up at 4 a.m. and go, he didn't like to be away for long.

Lucas stayed overnight with a friend Friday night. You would have thought Eli's world had ended as he repeatedly said, "I miss my brother." Then when Lucas came home Saturday, you guessed it, Eli picked a fight at every turn. Brothers. I can't win on that one.

We were putting the boys to bed Saturday night when Lucas sat up and said, "I'm home!" I have never heard a more heart felt declaration from a kid. That one word....home.....coming from him packs a huge punch.

I've been lucky enough in life to have had a home all my life, to have a family to come home to and a place where I felt safe and loved. A place I wanted to be. Lucas has finally discovered his home, his safe place, a place he wants to be. With those few words and the absolute sincerity behind them he has found his home. It does a heart good.

Alright I Listened, Now Be Prepared

Over the past two years on our family's adoption journey I've been encouraged, cajoled and pretty much told that I should write more than I do. I love to write, I am not an expert on anything just a mom who happens to have at varying times 5 pretty neat kids who are a never ending source of humor, frustration, angst, pride and a never ending source of writing material.

I've spoken with family members, friends, parents who are on their own adoption journeys, friends that I've met face to face, others via phone and web. I know some of these people have a wide range of why it is they ask me to write more. Some know that I love to write, some are friends who are touched by something that struck them here in the blog world. Some need to hear that others have traveled a road they are on and survived perhaps a little bruised and weary but hopefully better off for the journey. Some have met our family individually or as a unit and wonder...what if we...not because it's a perfect picture, far from it but it's a seed that might just need some "fertilizer". (Ha!)

There are others out there that fortunately I haven't heard a lot from. The detractors, the pessimistic, self involved ones who could care less what I say or what our family learns along the way. Great by me, they can pass on by and find another place to land.

For those of you out there that have faithfully read, cheered, both cried and rejoiced with us in our journey you will notice that with the usual posts there will be those posts that are slightly different and may speak to something that could hit home to you or you may wonder, "what in the world?" Whichever way it lands in your heart know that somewhere in the background there may be someone who can benefit...that's my hope. There may be someone who asked what we do/did or how we handle things and asked. I'm continually amazed at how willing people can be to share there accomplishments, struggles and needs. I'm also completely amazed by those of you out there that share your concerns and want to hear my take on them. Once again, I'm a wife and a mom, not an expert in anything just someone willing to put it out there for whatever someone can glean from the reading.

So. You asked for more. We'll see where it leads. At times this blog will look and sound the same, at other times it may read a little differently. Thank you to all of you for caring to follow and words of encouragement along the way. Bless you.

Chicken Reincarnation

Last night we had fried chicken for supper. Chicken is a favorite of Lucas and especially Eli. After eating 4 large pieces, Eli was studying the next piece.

He turned around to me and asked, "If we get glue and put the chicken back together, will it be alive.....oh no! where's the head! It no live without the head." Once again....I have no explanations just go with it.

Pickle Boys Dating Service

Perhaps you all have been able to gather that Lucas and Eli feel that every woman (particularly their sisters) must have a boyfriend/husband. They are quite adamant about it actually....to the point that I'm starting to fear for their lives.

First we have the case of Sydney's boyfriend. They took it upon themselves to tell him that they should get married and he should change his name to Pickle. When Parker tried (unsuccessfully) to explain that they were just dating and that when people got married usually the guy does not take the wife's name. They were equally appalled and insulted thinking that Parker did not think Pickle was a good enough last name. It's good enough for them, therefore it should be good enough for Parker. My thought outside of being extremely apologetic to Parker is that no Parker Pickle would not under any circumstances be a good name.

Second we have Rachel, who is somewhat safe as she is away at college the majority of the time and she is currently seeing someone. Safe and receiving the "brotherly" approvals.

Third we have Alison. Alison who is staying with us this week as she has had her wisdom teeth out and looks like she's been in a boxing ring. Tonight was the first time she felt like trying to eat something at suppertime or to remain vertical longer than 2 minutes....I'm pretty sure she regrets it....not because of the tough time eating but because about 2 bites into the meal Eli imperiously points his fork at her and says, "So you have boyfriend yet?" Oh. Yes. He. Did. For anyone worried he is still breathing...don't.... because he went on to offer with Lucas' help to "find" her a boy. Then the capper to his dating service questionnaire, "Do you want a Filipino boyfriend or a Chinese boyfriend?" I don't know where they get this stuff but I'm pretty sure they may want to investigate a new business as their dating service will never make it off the ground if their sisters have anything to say about it. Come to think of it they may not see Christmas.

People it's never dull here, it's loud, it's really loud. But it is an absolute hoot!

Think Before We Speak

This would be the "Think Before We Speak" lesson #949 for Lucas. Something that he probably should have thought really hard about before saying to his sister as they are getting ready to leave for school.....
"Sydney. Is that the only dress you have?"
Ok. #1 it was a shirt not a dress #2 it was new #3 he said this while expecting a ride to school from the sister he just offended. But don't worry Eli once again saved the day with humor by saying, "DUDE! Don't you know. You say you look nice Sydney. It not dress, can't you see bro!"
Sydney's response was to wait in the car til they hauled their contrite, apologetic tushes out there. They are at school....peace reigns!

Hiking and Harvest Time

Hiking the Loess Hills of Iowa with Grandma Ruth

If you look closely at the photo above you will see why I have a washing machine full of soy beans and why Grandpa Jerry is short a few bushels. No boots + rolling in a wagon full of soy beans = fun for boys not so much fun for a mom who wasn't aware of the "fun" until it was too late.

Lucas and Eli had a great week-end helping with the start of harvest. I grew up on a farm but the boys think that because I'm a "girl" that I can't possibly know anything....never mind they had not seen a combine or John Deere tractor until 2 years ago.....

On the way to see my mom yesterday morning I misguidedly mentioned that there weren't any farmers combining the fields between our town and the next. Eli's disgusted, all-knowing farmer response? "Mom. (hurrumph) they not picking the corn...it is still GREEN...can you not see the green?? (hurrumph) My response? "Well....son....can you not SEE that tone of voice may not be your wisest decision?" Yes, yes he did choose a different tone from there on out.

When The Women Are Away....

On Saturday, Sydney and I made the much dreaded grocery shopping trip. While we were slaving away, battling pre Nebraska football game crowds to bring home food which will be consumed at an amazing rate....oops that's another post.

One may wonder what the "boys" were up to? Well when I left the house this a.m. they were planning on driving up to one of Grandpa's farms to help with harvest. I (mistakenly) assumed this meant tractor riding, combine riding and general harvest type activities.....and there was some of that.

There was also the brilliant idea of the "boys" to take the go cart with them so that they could drive the mile long rows as grandpa combined. By the graphic and animated descriptions from Lucas and Eli there was little following the rows and a whole lot of spins, cookies and general mayhem in the field. By the amount of dirt on their clothes, in their hair, in their boots I'm really wondering how much dirt they left in grandpa's field. I also wonder at what point today Sydney and I were suppose to have that much fun.

The Kid is Trying To Kill Me!

Eli. He really is out to get me. I know it. He is determined to put me into hysterics with his "revelations". He always....I mean always....causes at least one near fatal happening when we are driving somewhere.

He is very animated to say the least, the more he has to say the faster and louder it comes out. Friday evenings' near miss was caused at warp speed when he announces from the back seat...."MOM! My mustache, it is growing, it is growing right now! No really it is growing right now, I know it! Look, Look! Right here under my nose!" You'd think he had a Fu Man Chu mustache under that nose.

I have no idea where this came from. I have no explanations for why everyone in our neighborhood knows to get out of the way when they see our Yukon coming down the road...no that's not true, it's because the driver (me) is hysterically laughing.

Mom DOES NOT PULL TEETH!

I'm sure quite a few of you are going to laugh yourselves silly. Five kids....I do NOT pull teeth. Elementary secretary....I do not handle kids with wiggly, loose, hanging or in hand teeth. I will do almost any other kind of first aid...not teeth...ever!

This past week Mike was in Indiana for training classes and left last Sunday. Wouldn't you know it, Sunday night Eli announces that he has a wiggly tooth (the kid has lost more teeth in the last month than the previous 2 years). Being the concerned parent....I mentioned I DON'T DO TEETH.....kindly instructed him to keep that wiggler in his mouth until Dad came home....on Friday and oh ya, he probably shouldn't look directly at me lest I see the offending tooth. I thought we reached an understanding.

I guess that was too much to ask....Wednesday night cuddled up on the couch before bedtime watching a tv show, Eli says, "Mom." I, grossly miscalculating the evil plan of my youngest son, looked at him. There he sits beside me with his hand in my face holding his tooth. The very tooth that had been yanked out of his bloody mouth after I so lovingly told him to hold out for dad. Grinning ear to ear, blood oozing down his lip, laughing his goof ball head off. HE KNOWS I DON'T DO TEETH!

As The World Turns

Something that has been hard for Lucas and Eli to understand is the extent of the distance between the Philippines and the United States. Even though they "survived" the never ending air plane flight, they have never really understood how large the Earth is, how far the Philippines are from Iowa or the size of the Philippines vs. the United States.

Lucas and Eli were talking about what time we normally have supper. Lucas went on to explain to Eli the shape of the Earth, that the sun was coming up in the Philippines, what time it is in the Philippines in relation to here and how big the world had to be in order for us to not see the sun at the same time as their friends in the Philippines. Eli's reaction....."wow, it really is far away, I not know this. Mom. Is this true?" I told him Lucas was right. I wasn't sure what reaction was going to surface but they just looked at each other, shrugged and Lucas said, "that is how you know you are far away, when someone else has night and you have day." Wow, geography class is paying off.

For anyone out there thinking of international adoption and either have a chance to purchase or put on your gift list a world globe is well worth the money and thought. I didn't know it was possible to spin one so many times.

Spelling SUCCESS

Lucas is so proud of himself and accomplishing an A+ on his spelling test this week. He asked if I had told the "computer" about it. It took a little investigation but we figured out he wanted me to post it on the blog.

After a nervous start to the school year he is really starting to like school again. He doesn't do change well and was really attached to last years' teacher. Mrs. Ettleman is his fourth grade teacher and he's discovered she's pretty neat too.

I remember those horrible first day of school butterflies, I wonder if Luke and Eli's are more like first day condors.

Want To Be A Pickle?

This post continues on from the previous one. Once again during this particular meal time with Sydney's boyfriend, Parker, in attendance. Eli and Lucas look at each other. It's the "look" that announces that through some form of weird, silent communication, the two of them have just agreed to something.....you just don't know what.

They both zeroed in on poor Sydney and Parker. Lucas superiorially points and waves his fork at them and announces, "You both get married. (they are seniors in high school it's not in their heads)" Eli announces, "Yes, Parker you will be a Pickle."

I jumped in to try and stop that line of sister humiliation and Parker told them that's not how it works. Eli once again, "WHAT! You no like to be a Pickle. I'M a Pickle, Lucas is a Pickle, we not used to be but now we are, so you be one too, everyone here is a PICKLE!" Well guess we will go back to the "you are adopted, Parker has a last name, it won't change" conversations. Probably need to revisit the whole "we are really sorry Parker, thank you for being so understanding" conversation.

We Apologize to Visitors

It is really, REALLY a good thing that Sydney has a very understanding, tolerant boyfriend. Parker has known Lucas and Eli since they came home....it's a good thing.....because Parker is occasionally at our house during meals.

I've described in the past that our meal time conversations are not for the weak stomachs or those without humor. Sometimes it's like navigating a mine field requiring us to think 3 steps ahead of the ongoing conversation in order to anticipate what road the boys' brains will travel, inevitably ending any appropriate dinner conversation.

We were having a marinated steak dish (never tried recipe before so it looked different). I apologized before they started because I really wasn't sure what the end result was going to be. Parker, being the nice guy he is, said, "Oh, I'm sure it will be good, I'm used to being a guinea pig."

I knew it, I knew it. As soon as it was out of his mouth, Eli did not understand him. Eli's head came flying up and out comes, "WHAT! This GUINEA PIG! ME NO EAT IT!" It took a while to convince him that it was beef. Two pieces later he decided it was "pretty good." But he did in no uncertain terms let me know that he would not EVER eat a guinea pig. That's ok as I probably don't have a recipe for one either.

Things Are Changing

We had a request last night from Lucas which left Mike and I realizing once again how much and how far Lucas and Eli have traveled in nearly 2 years.

When Rachel moved back to college this fall, she moved into her own apartment (good for her...sad for the parents) which in turn left her old room vacant. Lucas came to us last night after supper and wanted to know if he could have his own room. Wham - up side the head - didn't really see that request coming for awhile yet.

Lucas and Eli have shared a room for 10 years. I think the only times they've not been together was when Lucas was in the hospital in the Philippines or the few times of over night stays with friends here in the U.S.

I guess what struck me was Lucas' request wasn't a "Hey! Finally I can have my own room." It was more I really want to try this. So once we talk (we do A LOT of talking) to make sure that it's really a choice he wants and we talk with Rachel (yes she will still have space to come home) we will see about making this move up (or down as the bedroom is downstairs by Sydneys' room).

Did I say how struck dumb I was by this....Eli was too....he's not real sure that this would be a good idea. Not because he wouldn't like his own room but because he realizes that would make him solely responsible for the messes in his room......no one ever said the kid wasn't thinking ahead.

Worry Bug

Sorry for the delay in posting and I will post our mini vacation highlights but since I've had welfare calls from people wondering why the silence, I thought I'd throw in a quick update. Life is busy....bet you knew that.

The worry bug has also come to visit at our house. Lucas and Eli worry about everything. This seems to be the case during the school year. They love school, think their teachers are pretty cool and really love being back with their friends. For some reason this also seems to be when they bring up the Philippines a lot. Constant comparing of everything. School, food, friends, people, rules...pretty much everything.

The latest hard thing.....what happened to my friends in Zamboanga...do they have families? I think Lucas especially has figured out that they were getting to the age where they would no longer be able to stay in the orphanage and would be on their own to make their own ways. We had this difficult discussion with Lucas this summer, he thought that he would live at RSCC until he was old enough to work there. Probably not the case. Thank God he doesn't have to find out. He also realized that he and Eli would have been released at different times. That was really scary for him and us.

Now they both worry for those left behind. So for any of you out there that are thinking, wondering, considering adoption.....it makes a huge difference in your life, in the lives of your potential child(ren) and in the lives of those who have found their families and worry for their friends who wait. Think really hard.

Traveling Pack Rats

Road Trips.  You think that after 25 years of parenting, too many road trips to count and an impressive ability to use "mommy hearing", that I would learn a few things....maybe it's like childbirth....you forget...think I'll go with that because the alternative is old age.

We've embarked upon our Labor Day week-end, the parents have flipped their minds, camping trip.  Our family, with the exclusion of Alison who is graciously house and dog sitting as well as pulling a week-end shift at work and very much thrilled to not be a part of this outdoor experience, have traveled 3 plus hours to a lake area of Iowa.  We've been trying since Memorial Day to plan this trip with two other families and we may finally be pulling it off.

This was not an environmentally friendly road trip.  So far it has involved 2 motorcycles, a four door pickup, a Yukon pulling a 30  foot camper, another pickup fulling a fifth wheel trailer....we've more that helped the fuel industry.  3 campgrounds, 16 people (no pets), 3 bikes, 2 rip sticks and a first aid kit.  Three of us comprise the office staff of our elementary (2 secretaries and the nurse...wonder what happens if we don't come back to work on Tuesday).

We took less stuff with us on our week long summer trip than for this week-end, still can't figure that out. We have an extra boy in our camper tonight and who knew that boys giggle more than girls?  Did you know boys take longer in the bathroom than their sisters ever did?  Did you know that when you put  9, 10 and 11 year old boys in the bunk end of a camper it can produce smells that rival an over ripe potato?  Did you know the promise of early morning fishing can make all 3 boys hit the bed and sleep? 

It promises to be an interesting week-end....wait for the pictures I'm sure we'll have a lot of opportunity and more than a few insane happenings.  Hope you have a great holiday week-end.

Name that Tune

Learning English to speak and understand has to be confusing on a good day. Learning slang, pop culture references puts it into a whole new experience.

This past week Eli has been singing at the top of his lungs, a warm up exercise from school (thank you Mr. Buckner) 1,2,3,4,5,5,4,3,2,1 over and over. He's singing...that's good...he didn't know any songs in Tagalog or English 2 years ago so when he finally started singing 6 months after coming home it was a big deal....still is....just wish the songs were not belted at full throttle and repetitively.

Part of his latest song goes something like this, "willow, willow, racoon!" Over and over. Do you have any idea what this song might actually be? Assuming we can get him to understand that, "yes, those are real English words, just not the right ones." The actual wording...."we will, we will, rock you." (the song from Queen). Someone help us if he ever attempts rap music.

I Ate WHAT!

I have to say that Eli can be frustrating, obsessive, disorganized and pretty much your standard 10 year old boy. He also has the ability to make pretty much anyone laugh. He can make us totally crack up and as usual it comes out of no where. So not only are we laughing like maniacs but we are also amazed at being totally blind sided.....yes even after living with the kid for two years.

Tonight, after witnessing his less than sedate supper consumption....the kid can clear a plate faster than a line backer....we were talking about the different foods he had just inhaled. He kept referring to the chicken....we didn't have chicken...Mike pointed this out....his next guess...turkey?...no but give him credit for a white meat. Mike said those were pork chops. Eli wanted to know what pork was (we have explained this but it never sticks). Mike said, "It comes from pigs."

The utter shock and horror on Eli's face was amazing. He screamed, "I ATE WHAT!" The kid had just devoured 2 pork chops, tomatoes, 3 servings of rice, 3 rolls, corn and now he was worried about what everything was? I think it's safe to say that he loved the pork chops but wished he didn't know where they came from. Don't think we'll be reading Charlotte's Web in the near future.

M...o....m....

Parents everywhere know the feeling of waking up in at 2 a.m. with their child standing beside the bed to wake you up and let you know they are sick.

Lucas is one sick guy. He has a 102.7 fever at 2 a.m. and it took til about 3:30 before we could get any kind of reduction. To accompany all this he has what he calls a hurt head. It takes a lot to stop this kid and he is flat out stopped.

I think I jinxed it. Last week when Alison was so sick, in passing I thought, "You know the boys have really done well since coming home. No major illnesses. None of the illnesses that were constantly reported in the Philippines." Yep. Jinx.

This a.m. he's got a cough that will require a trip to the doctor. He seemed to develop pneumonia easily when he was sick in the Philippines and it's something our doctor wants to stay ahead of. The longer we can keep things from developing in his lungs the more time they have to strengthen. So today is Tylenol, Motrin, cartoons, rest and more rest.

Sadder note yet. While we were working on bringing his fever down, he kept patting my hand and saying, "Thank you, thank you. You take care of me." How sad. How many times was he sick in the orphanage and there wasn't a mom and dad to help. :(

I Don't Like That

This is the latest phrase coming out of Eli's mouth for the past 4 days in regards to food....urghh! Guess we don't have to worry about him feeling comfortable enough to tell us his preferences. He's more than happy to share his opinions on all food related subjects.

If I've managed to fix one meal in 4 days that didn't start with him telling me, "I DON'T LIKE THAT!" I would be amazed. Well tonight I amazed him and said, "Well that's too bad. This is what we are having, you can choose to eat it or you will probably get very hungry." He expressed his views by sitting on the back step pouting. I expressed my superior mother cooking skills and promptly burnt the blasted supper.

We are ordering pizza and I'm getting the kind I like. Very mature parenting of me, I know.

He's Not So Smart

Are you familiar with the saying, "oh boys and their toys". There are many big discussions in our house about toys, their own and other boys'. Then we have discussions on how maligned Lucas and Eli are because they do not have all the toys and "things" their friends have.

The hot "thing" to have....or so Lucas and Eli would have us believe....is a bb gun. Don't panic people...there is no way on this earth or in any future that I govern that these two will acquire this prized object. That doesn't stop them from wishing, asking, talking, begging, whining and complaining. It just isn't going to happen for them, so they live vicariously and somewhat naively (there are not that many of their friends' parents that are crazy) through those friends who have the infamous bb gun.

In the car Eli is once again explaining to Lucas which one of his friends have bb guns and all the fabulous things they do with these fantastic things. He stated that "Tom (name changed to protect the 10 year old bb gun aficionado) has a bb gun. Lucas' response? "WHAT! He should not have bb gun....he's not so smart!" Hmmmm. Well. Sometimes it's really hard not to laugh at inappropriate comments. I'd much rather have them fixated on sports. It doesn't usually involve the embedment of small pieces of copper or miscellaneous metal.

"I Got To Lax First!"

Everyone was up bright and early today. It actually feels like the first day of autumn outside. What do we do when it's not 100 degrees outside? Wash windows. Mike, Lucas and Eli found the ladders and cleaned the outside living room windows for me. Boy! Having guys can be handy!

They came inside to take a break, get a drink and "discuss" the rest of the morning chores. Mike told them to head outside and pick up sticks and the yard so they could start mowing. Eli headed for the door and hollered for Luke to come on.

Lucas' response, "Wait! I got to lax (relax) first!" Actually I think his "lax" version was pretty accurate. It lasted a minute and out he went. Apparently, laxing is a mini version of a break. Either way the yard is getting mowed. After mowing the 2 acres, I bet they need the extended relaxation version.

Reason 297

That is the rough estimate of the number of reasons that Lucas has decided that he would like his own room.

What is his number one reason? His younger brother, Eli. Also known by screams of EEEEE!, Hey!, STOP! EEEEEliiiii! (who knew a 3 letter name could be drawn out so long?)

Tonight Lucas announced that Eli is messy.....umm he must have missed his pile of clothes by his own bed, Eli talks all the time....only when Lucas takes a breath or goes to the restroom and my all time favorite....he needs his own bedroom because Eli keeps him awake by wiggling his tooth. Yep apparently Eli is a roommate, dental terror.

Unfortunately Lucas will not be receiving his own room as his sister has prior dibs on the other bedroom but we can offer him ear plugs to ease the night time squeaks of Eli's wiggly teeth.

As Long As SHE Doesn't Get To!

All things this week have shifted back into school mode. I'm back at work, Rachel's off to college, Sydney, Lucas and Eli have made it through the first few days of school. New schedules, back to school year rules and back to the sibling bickering over who is boss. This bickering also carries over into happenings of the day that someone....(Lucas) may have a slight "he man" attitude towards his sister.

His latest "conflict" is to make sure that if I won't allow him to wield a paint brush in the livingroom that Sydney doesn't get to either. I suppose you may say that testing me while I'm on a ladder with a paint can/half standing on a window sill is probably not going to generate a positive parental moment.

He got the point.

Task Master

In preparation for Sydney's high school graduation next May, I thought I'd take a lesson from past experience and start on those "graduation" chores that we always seem to "think" are a must. I'm really hoping this graduation is less hectic.....Rachel's graduation 2 1/2 years ago saw us in the middle of home studies and psych evals for the boys' adoptions. No stress there.

This week-end saw me painting the living room and hallway. I hated having to do this. Number 1...I am not a good painter, Number 2...I really liked the old paint job, Number 3....I seem to have way more spectators and supervisors than actual help.

Sydney helped out as long as she could before leaving for work, Mike kept the boys occupied with outside chores most of the afternoon....that is until they had to make their million trips inside for water and then to stand with the hands on hips and judge how far I've gotten or not gotten as the case may be.

The last trip Lucas made through the house his statement of my work abilities was, "Hmmm. Not as bad as it looked last time I was in. Keep going you will get better." Gee. Thanks for the encouragement!

"My Friends Know More Than Mom"

Eli has decided that this is the case concerning mom's rule on using sunscreen and his friends decision that he doesn't need it.

Both Eli and Lucas love the community pool. It's been their big deal all summer to go to the pool. Sydney and Rachel have been good sports about taking them in and hanging out. Those knowing the Pickle girls know that generally outside is not their favorite place to be, so thank you to them for "enduring" such trauma so their water loving brothers can have some fun.

Eli informs me that he no longer needs to use sunscreen because one of his enlightened and much more knowledgable 10 year old buddies has decided that because Eli is "brown" that he obviously doesn't need it. Wow. So much ground to cover here.

No. Your friend is not the boss. No. He does not know more than your mother. No. "Brown" people still need to use sun screen. No. Your blonde haired, blue eyed friend will never achieve your level of "brownness". No. You will never be as "white" as he is....even if you roll in sunscreen. Boys and their ideas....grow into men with ideas and mothers, wives and girlfriends who add the dose of reality.

Adoption vs. Just Growing Up

This is a topic that I have a lot of trouble figuring out. What things are adoption related, what are just your average issues with boys and what things are just muddled together. Some days we have more success figuring the puzzle out than others. Some days we all do well just to survive the pre teen years....can we really be entering that phase already?

The biggest problem exists when both adoption and common boy issues collide. Control, need for (but not recognizing it in themselves) independence and then the oh so favorite of parents everywhere....the bull headed, I know more than you and "were you talking to me?" phases.

Can you tell that we are having a lot of growing pains in our household?

I Don't Know This Boy

Eli. He looks like the same son we've known for nearly 2 years. But today I'm not sure I know him at all. Today he announced that he has 3 "wiggled" teeth. That is not the oddity. The oddity came when he dictates that I make him a dentist appointment so "his" guy can give him smelly stuff, he can watch Sponge Bob overhead and have his "guy" take out the 3 wigglers.

Is this the same kid who had to be physically held to have a doctor look at his ears and throat, is it the same kid that we had to go through 3 dentists in order to find THE "GUY" that he now so surprisingly requests to visit? Let's revisit November 2009....you can go back and find my posts. After 5 kids and a gazillion doctor visits, I was pretty sure Eli was the kid who beat me, Mike and our collection of medical professionals as the one least likely to ever welcome a visit to their offices.

Again this conversation happened in the car at 60 miles per hour. I also think Eli secretly wants to know what really happens when I run off the road. He's always looking for a new experience. My new experience is just trying to survive a road trip to the grocery store.

Independence Day

This particular independence day doesn't have anything to do with the 4th of July. We've been working on Lucas and Eli to help them understand that they are two separate people. You'd think that would be a given. Not with two guys, who until 2 years ago, only had each other. Now it seems to be time to establish a little independence, we've worked from day one for this but with time they are a little more able to absorb the need for independence.

Trying to get them to establish their own likes and dislikes, independent thoughts, talents and friends is a challenge. We don't want them to lose the bond they have with one another but to expand it and let them explore who they are, individually. It also helps with their English and behavior...nothing wrong with that.

Today, Mike took Eli with him to work. It was a short day, 20 minutes of work and 4 hours of driving. A lot of father/son time. The kid that came home today was speaking full sentences, polite....to the point of being scary and full of himself (in a good way). Lucas spent the day with Sydney. They went to the pool and had by all reports a fun day with no problems. Again, full sentences and no whining. It's hard for Lucas to stop the worrying and bossing to let go and just be himself.

Now to the outside observer it probably seems like no big deal. To Lucas, Eli and us it's huge. Getting them comfortable to be separated takes advance planning and a lot of good luck. We even managed a big talk about how when they grow up they won't always be living together and that when they have jobs they won't be the same. It sounds simple, it's not. I think twins couldn't be closer and more of one mindset than these two. But for today, independence reigned and they broadened their worlds.

Future Eviction?

Lucas and I were driving in the car today and as usual we were playing the "Lucas asks a million questions and mom tries not to drive off the road answering" game. One of the things we talked about was how many houses have I lived in.

Tonights' road worthy pondering was...."Mom. When your old can I keep your house?" Now I may be getting up there in my years but I do know that he was in deep contemplation, worry mode. He tends to still have that survivalist, plan ahead for contingencies thought process. But he had a very well thought out process as to how we would eventually be old and someone would need to take care of the house....I'm just not sure if he's planning on taking care of his parents or if we will be evicted. He may have to take the good with the bad, house=old folks. I think we will revisit this down the road.

Face Plant

Have you ever been at work and received a call from your daughter in charge of the home front and the conversation begins like this? "Mom. He's okay. His face is okay. He had a wreck. He's okay. Is Bactine okay to put on a face?"

Yep. That was my call this a.m. at work from Sydney. When my heart restarted I was able to find out that he'd gone over the handle bars of his bike into the gravel. The picture shows some of the aftermath. I'm not sure who was more upset, Sydney or Eli. Eli was reassuring her he was alright, she was assuring him it would be okay and then they were both trying to reassure me that his face would look better before the first day of school. Right now he looks like a prize fighter. No, helmets do not help for a full frontal assault on the face.

Once I got a "face to face" with him, he patted my arm and said, "I'm okay. I only cry a little, Sydney fix me but Alison (sister of the RN variety) needs to see me....she know how to fix it." I think he thinks she possesses mystical powers of healing....she probably told him that.

I asked Eli how he managed to only get hurt on his face. His hands, arms, elbows, knees all checked out fine. He proudly explained to his obviously crash knowledge, deficient mother that, "I hang on to handles, I go over the top (handle bars), I hang on, you no let go mom!" Obviously, he was so disgusted with my lack of crash knowledge, he promptly went outside and tried to break up a fight between our dog and a stray cat and got bit. I really mean it people. I'm wrapping him in bubble wrap until school starts next week. I guess he's truly becoming a farm kid with all the milestones, good and bad, that comes with it.

For all of you out there that laughed hysterically when we told you we would be adding boys to our family...saying that I was never going to be able to "handle" the rough, tumble and injuries....I say to you, "I haven't passed out or vomited yet but do at times wonder what is it with the male species?"

Hard Adjustments

It's never easy when one of your kids leave home. While as a parent you are really proud to have your child succeeding in their goals and moving into adulthood, on the other hand you secretly wish they'd stay little forever....well at least the "little" part that was easy...you wish to by pass all the "unpleasant" parts of growing up.

We moved Rachel this week-end into her own apartment off campus. Lucas and Eli helped move her in and participated in unpacking by staying on the couch with their video games. Probably the safest and smartest move for little brothers at a stressful time.

We were all pretty composed until we started the 3 hour trip home. Then the boys started worrying about Rachel. How does she get food? How does she know when to go to bed? How does she know when to get up? How does she know how to get home? When will she be home? Is she ever going to live with us again? Ok. I'm trying to drive a pick up, pulling a trailer and answer questions while not running off the road or turning into a blubbering mess on my own.

Eli is not handling the adjustment to all the changes well. He doesn't trust easily or make attachments without a lot of trust...Rachel (even though he pesters and annoys her as much as he can) is one of his "special" ones. Given a chance I'm pretty sure he'd live in her closet to make sure she's okay in her new place. It may be good to grow up but it sure can stink at times.

Super Groper?

Well I've had my morning laugh before heading in to work. Rachel and the boys were watching Sesame Street this a.m. while I was working in the kitchen. I hear them talking but not really tuned in until I hear Eli holler, "SUPER GROPER!".....repeatedly.

Rachel was trying so hard to control laughing and explain that his name was Grover not Groper. Parents beware. You can not teach English pronunciation to your ELL child by using Grover as a model.....not unless you want to spend a whole lot of time explaining to people :)

Long Day?

Today marks day 1 of 2 very long days at work for me. Registration at an elementary school. For those parents who dread going in to school to fill out that paperwork....the secretaries dread it too.

Parents fill out a lot of forms, hey I'm a parent, I know. I'm also the secretary. I not only handle those disgruntled parents' forms, I also handle 400 other sets of parent forms. It's a long process. It's also long for school secretary families who are sitting home, fixing supper and doing nightly routines.

Tonight I came in just as the boys were headed for bed. They wanted to know, "are you home?" Hmmm I think I live here. "You going to work long time tomorrow too?" Yep, one more day. Then they summarily let me know that they are not in favor of this and that I should stop.....I don't think the school district or our banker would appreciate that......1 more day! Seriously grateful for a job but seriously grateful it's just one more day.

Back to Work I Go

Well this a.m. I am once again off to school. We open registrations up on Tuesday and Wednesday so it will be it's usual hectic pace today.

Rachel will be "watching" the boys today...first day back is usually a long one. As they were all up late last night celebrating Sydney's 18th Birthday...Happy Birthday Syd!......I'm hoping everyone stays asleep longer this morning and gives Rachel a chance to get her feet under her.

It's funny. The longer she's in college, the more of the elementary/special ed teacher I see emerging. She already has "the voice" and it's kind of like listening to a kid when their voice changes. She moves from sister voice to teacher voice in the same sentence. Either way it usually works with the boys....let's hope it keeps working!