Who Sat In That Chair?

Suppertime deep thinking once again.

Lucas is fascinated and fixated on everyone sitting in the same place at the table for meals. On Sunday Alison came home for lunch so we added a chair to the table and everyone jiggled places. Lucas sat there for a few minutes and turned to me and asked, "You come get me in Philippines to sit here?" So started the conversation of remembering their trip home and answering questions on how and why we "picked" them.

He sat and digested the information along with his supper and then did the whole this is my place to sit, this is Dad's place to sit, etc. Then he asked where everyone sat before they came to America, so I told him and he realized that left 1 empty chair. He asked who sat there. I said no one. Again the thinking. Than in all his 10 year old rationalizing mind said, "You come get us to sit in the chairs!" Well not the most mitigating reason for having them join the family. We revisited the whole why we adopted the boys and then he pipes up one last time, "I KNOW Mom, but now I sit here!" - OK

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Word Challenge of the Week

Some English words are difficult to pronounce. Most are words that I wouldn't even think about being hard to form. This week's word that seems to be a great challenge is being pronounced

"bick wit"

Can you guess the word?

Biscuit. Lucas and Eli love to eat them so we'll have lots of practice trying to change bick wit to biscuit.

Cowboy and His Side Kick

Been gone from home this past week as we are trying to cram vacation activities into 2 weeks before we all head back to work, school and college.

We took the kids camping and tubing in central Nebraska for a few days last week. The girls have made the trip several times and this was a first for a family vacation and tubing both. I'll have to post more on the whole trip in another post.

As we set up camp the first night, Lucas and Eli were running between the campground playground, our sight and riding their bikes, with a few brief moments of helping to set up camp (they definitely needed to run of energy after being couped up in a car for 6 hours).

On one of their stops at the trailer we heard the following conversation.....

Lucas, "I'm not Cowboy but I call you.......................Chicken Nugget!"

Eli, "No man, me no chicken nugget, me burrito!"

WHAT! Ok the cowboy part came from them playing Buzz Light Year (Luke) and Woody (Eli) from Toy Story. Where the rest of that conversation originated is a true mystery.

Doctor Offices URGH!

In a bid to lower my blood pressure I thought I'd post today's joy in adoptive parenting....bitter towards the world....right now you bet!

Today we made an attempt at the dentist office with Eli to have a baby tooth pulled. Our pediatric dentist is wonderful but the fear Eli has of dentists is huge and she couldn't do it. Now we have to go to a pediatric oral surgeon so he can be put under. I guess I was spoiled as all our doctors to this point have been extremely cautious to not add to trauma so when calling to make the appointment I once again explained the adoption and the trauma but ran into an "office manager" who was only interested in insurance and telling me how many times we had to visit before any procedures are done.

I really try to be patient with office people because I am one but this woman would not/did not give a care on how traumatized Eli is by the doctor visits, how far we have to travel, etc. She had her set agenda to how all appointments and referrals are made and let me say she would not deviate. We are stuck which I think is what frustrates me the most. We called our dentist for other referrals but unfortunately this first one seems to be our only pediatric guy who will do sedation. This whole situation leads me straight back to my huge resentment of the medical and dental treatments the boys were subjected to in the Philippines. I try really hard to get past this particular part of their past and try to make myself believe they were treated the best that could be done for where they came from - it doesn't work for me most of the time but I'm trying.

You Never Know

If you can't laugh at yourself who can (or should).

Recently, after the infamous, shall not be repeated day of family pictures, Walmart, zoo and Sam's Club trip, it is not an exaggeration to say our whole gang was "frazzled" when we entered Sam's Discount Warehouse for groceries.

I don't know why I thought this had to be done right then other than I'm too cheap to pay for the gas to drive back to the store when we were within 2 miles.

Anyway, no one was happy, everyone was cranky and when it came time to pay for the groceries Eli announces he has to go to the bathroom. Okay - Mike takes off with him, leaving me with Lucas, a conveyor belt of food and the dubious task of paying for this unmentionable amount of stuff. Wouldn't you know it...Lucas picks this exact moment to play deep, mystical and spiritual trivial pursuit with me. The conversation went something like this - keep in mind I am unloading a super size cart, handing the cashier my cards and trying to keep my feet from being run over by the cart that Lucas keeps pushing into me (this is my excuse for later)....
Lucas, "Mom, you grandma?"
Me, "What! No I'm your mom" (had a bad experience when someone asked me if they were my grandkids, so I'm a little touchy)
Lucas, "You grandma someday?"
Me, "Yes someday when you all grow up and have families."
Lucas, "You be old then." (Yep buddy you are making me older by the second)
Me, "Yes I will probably be old."
Lucas, "You be old, die, I be sad."
Honestly I think my head imploded. I just said, "Lucas stand there and be quiet until I'm done I can't talk about this right now, stop it now (pushing the cart over my feet).
Lucas, "Ok, I need to go to the bathroom."
Again, not being totally in control of my mouth I said, "No you don't, you're bored, you can stand there and wait." After this outburst I finally looked at our cashier.
As near as I can remember, I thought wow she looks familiar, she smiled and I asked if they had been busy during the holiday week-end, she said she had just gotten there from her other job. I, still not cluing in, said, "oh do you cashier somewhere else?" "Nope," she says I work for Holt International......................ding, ding, ding ......she's the administrative assistant for our local office, who did a wonderful job getting our paperwork processed and took my pestering phone calls. It was not my finest moment but it did serve as a clue that it was past time to go home as soon as we took Lucas to the bathroom.

Really Not Kidding About the Bubble Wrap!

The kid just shimmied up the basketball pole in order to re-hook the net! Okay fine but then he jumped, caught the leg from the first injury and reopened it!

Glad he has a no fear policy - I firmly embrace fear every time he walks out the door. I'm thinking of gluing him to the tv for sanity and a break from nurse duties.

Get the Picture?

By the photo I'm sure you've gathered we've had yet another injury for Eli. Other leg, other shin but come on buddy!

Approximately 2 minutes after being told not to ride double on a bike we had blood and bandage time.....again.

I know, I know.....boys are just rougher....boys get hurt more than girls (which I still regard as a gender stereotype)...boys are just having fun. I get it. But have any of you priced bandages? I'm not talking band aids as these are far beyond band aids. We are talking butterfly bandages, antibiotic ointment, gauze pads and then wrapping his leg with gauze rolls and taping it on with the world's stickiest first aid tape (it's the only way to hold it all on his leg). These supplies are no longer put away in the medicine cabinet as we will most likely be using them every 10 minutes, they are now a part of the centerpiece on my table. I attempted to leave the previous injury open to the air a day or so ago - bad idea....it took him approximately 5 minutes to make that very obvious.

We're suppose to be taking a river tubing trip in the next week or so but I want those goofy/gross things closed and healing before we attempt to stick him in a river. Does anyone know where to get big rolls of bubble wrap about the size of a 9 year old boy?

Nature vs. Nurture and Sometimes the Odd Coincidence

There is always the debate of nature vs. nurture in the world of adoption but over the course of these past 2-3 months we've started to notice some mannerisms, preferences and coincidences that the boys have in common....especially with one particular relative......my Dad.

Now the part of this, for those that don't know us, that is somewhat bizarre is that my Dad passed away in 2001. He never met our boys and didn't know that adoption was in our future. The boys know that my dad has died and that they have 3 grandparents now but we haven't introduced a whole lot of information on my dad just because it is very confusing for them to learn all the relatives they meet on a face to face level. The other reason for the limited Grandpa Earl information is that Lucas worries about my dad dieing so will Mike die too.

Tonight we had another of those coincidences occur at supper. My dad was an old time farmer with the habits (food and other things) of those that lived through the Great Depression. Sometimes he really had strange eating preferences. Tonight we were treated to a "Grandpa Earl" moment that I probably haven't seen in a decade. Lucas asked for more cream corn, I passed it to him but didn't notice what he did with it until Mike made a noise at the other end of the table. He made a cream corn sandwich with bread and his corn and ate it. He also does this with mashed potatoes, butter and corn. Dad at times ate with his knife, the boys do also. I will draw the line though if either of them picks up a stick of butter and starts eating it.....Alison still has vivid memories of Grandpa doing this.

Lucas also has clothing "styles" that were common to my Dad's later years, if I'd buy them suspenders I'm pretty sure they would be in heaven. Sometimes, especially Rachel and Alison who have clearer memories of my dad, will comment on these occurrences as things they remember about their grandpa.

So I think there is probably a lot of basis to both nature and nurture to form a child and then I think there is something to be said for the unexplainable things such as these occurrences that make me think my dad knows his grandsons are home and he's just passing along some of himself to them like he did with the older grandkids. Thanks Dad!

Holiday Injury

Showing Off His Holiday Souvenir

First Aid Triage Iowa Style - Thank Goodness for Electrical Tape Eli Not Trusting His Sister the RN to Use Scissors Near Him

Well the Fourth of July has come and gone. This year the celebrations in our small town were strung out Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Saturday was the day for all the cousins to come together for fireworks. It also brought the "holiday injury".

My nephews' wife, Kim and I were talking about kids getting hurt and how you always jump when it's your first kid and by the time the others start injuring themselves you tend to overlook anything short of a broken bone and uncontrolled bleeding. Ha - Ha - don't laugh .....man did that conversation come back to bite me (and in under 5 minutes).

Eli came into my sisters' living room and plopped on the couch beside her, I was sitting across the room and thought hmmm, usually he's more timid but hey good for him. Then he says to me, "Owie" Before I could say what, he points to his knee, I glance down and see this trickle of blood start down his leg (couldn't see his knee) by the time I'd cleared the distance and had my hand under his knee (the mom/sister in me saying - "oh please don't bleed on the couch, carpet, someone") I had a handful of blood. I half way picked him up to get him into the bathroom (the kid has seriously taken a growth spurt) once in the bathroom and us on the floor to take a look (good thing we were on the floor) I pulled up his pants leg to find that there was a sizable chunk missing from just below his knee. Estimate 3 inches long and 1 1/2 inches wide, depth? ever seen the white below muscle?

Mom assessment: too wide to stitch, too deep to ignore, oh, crud there's gravel under that flap and now he's starting to panic. I'm starting to panic cause my brain is seeing parts of his leg nobody has seen since God. - Next thought we have a nurse and and x-ray tech in the house, thus my call for reinforcements to the bathroom.

The "medical professional/relative" assessments: wow! ok! let's clean it up (leading to Eli freak out #2). Everyone's opinion - yuck! I could continue with a very graphic description but you all probably would appreciate just using your imaginations and saving your stomachs. It is too wide to stitch, so deep that we are now dealing with an open wound and he's handling it like a trooper.

Mom Lesson #989 - don't EVER say anything about your reactions to kid injuries - you will just jinx yourself and your poor unsuspecting child!

A Year Ago Today....

It was one year ago today that I got a call from Kristine at Holt to tell us that we had received the "official" ICAB approval to adopt the boys and that they would be transferred to Manila by the 16th of July 2009.

It still amazes me that I can remember specifically where we all were, what was going on, the weather (really important I know) and this was the moment that we had waited 6 months to hear had arrived.

I have a lot of friends out there that have had to or are waiting so much longer. How they continue to wait with grace, hope, humor and more than their share of aggravation but continue to bring their child that one day closer to them, is truly the stuff wonderful families are made of!

Alligator Poop and the Best Zoo EVER!

Rachel, Lucas and Eli behind a waterfall in the Jungle
Headed out on the swinging rope bridge, I took the less
wobbly route and went around.

Still smiling as we were headed to the parking lot!

Rachel and I took Lucas and Eli to visit the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha on Friday. It's the first zoo trip since the Philippines when Lucas was traumatized by a camel and Eli attempted to touch a tiger.

We had planned on doing a short visit, seeing only those animals the boys most wanted to see. That did not happen but remarkably there were no meltdowns.

The zoo is a huge place with aquariums, jungles, desert dome, butterfly pavilion, an IMAX, plus all the "usuals". There is no way to go and see it all in a day and have anyone enjoy it.

We started out in the Jungle which ended up taking about an 1 1/2 hours to go through as every monkey, hippo and fish had to be studied from every angle. Then on to the penguins and aquarium. Lucas would have mimicked those penguins all day and by some weird alignment of the universe they agreed to go through he desert dome and head home. Again did you catch the whole no meltdown statement earlier.

As we were going into the Jungle, Lucas was ahead of me and I see him patting his chest and hear the following: "Oh, Oh, Goodness, this is wonderful, Oh! My goodness"

They bought the customary stuffed animals, Eli chose an alligator and Lucas bought a turtle. On the way home, both of the boys are playing with them when I hear a whole, very descriptive reenactment of alligator poop. I finally put a halt to it after it had continued way past funny and Eli spouts off...."but Mom alligators poop all the time!" Thank you for that lesson son. Next time perhaps we shouldn't stay at the exhibits long enough to make a toileting study.

Things Not to Do In a Day.....

Things not to do on a single day:

1. Take your family of seven to have family pictures done when your adult children and husband have appointments immediately following.
2. Pick out and order aforementioned pictures in 20 minutes.
3. Try to pick up back ordered lamps from furniture purchase that were promised to be delivered today, yep that didn't happen.
4. Take your 2 sons to their first zoo trip (with the help of Rachel - thanks Rachel!)
5. Try to start cleaning for a birthday party (1 month late and 4th of July dinner)

Tired You Bet! Good day? Amazingly yes.

Dairy Advertising Irritates

At least it irritates Lucas. We currently have a billboard that we drive past nearly every day that is advertising the benefits of drinking milk. Now the boys are not currently nor probably ever been fans of milk. They will tolerate yogurt and of course ice cream.

Passing the billboard on the way home I hear Lucas talking to himself in the backseat:

"Milk, milk, milk, all they want is milk. I don't like milk. Yucky."

Guess he's one customer lost to the dairy industry.

They Should Come With A Warning Label

.....that's the lesson I learned about my boys today. What I discovered today is the unique set of skills that the boys were taught in the Philippines on how to evade kidnappers.

I've been running over in my head, apparently unnecessarily, how to introduce stranger danger to the boys without scaring them silly. Yes, we've touched on the basics of stay with us when we are out, don't leave our house yard, etc. But I just hadn't brought up much more than that. Bad Mom.

Today on a trip into Omaha by myself with the boys, before we got out of the vehicle, I did my run through of behavior expectations and then I said ok stay with me and don't wander off. Of course the dynamic duo pipe up with, "Why?"

Nothing I said worked so I, very frustrated, said, "Because someone could take you and I said so." (I know the old Mom at her last straw phrase) Lucas very seriously said that he knew what to do if a kidnapper tried to get him. -Huh?- Eli pipes up with Ya Mom, we know. And all the way into the store and through Target they explained in great detail how to be street smart, avoid, evade and escape "kidnappers".

I don't know what program these two were taught or if it was everyday survival skills for Zamboanga but wow I wish our programs here in the states wasn't so diluted down. Who knows if in the real situation they'd be able to respond but I do know that I know longer have to worry about bringing this particular subject up with them. In this area the Philippines handled it well. Now I think we may need to stick warning labels on them.

Lord Save Me From Sibling Teasing!

It's really good that our kids like/love (depends on the moment) one another or I'm pretty sure it could break out in an all out war.

Sibling teasing of the day: Eli brushed by Rachel's shorts covered legs this a.m. His comment:

"Rachel you have mustaches on your legs!"

Rachel was slightly amused but did quickly leave to hunt up a razor. Brothers just seem to know how to pull ALL their sisters' buttons.

First Time Fishing

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Lucas and His Teeth Pulling.... Dentist?

I cannot believe the way Lucas willingly and unbothered pulls his teeth. Yes they are baby teeth, yes they are slightly wiggly but come on!

He comes up to me (why me? I will gladly pass out at wiggly teeth) announces and shows me that it is loose. I immediately slam my eyes shut, point my finger in the general direction of dad, who is in charge of all teeth related matters.

Lucas then laughs this maniacal laugh, turns his back and turns back around, announcing, "Ta Da! Tooth no more" YUCK!

He is truly becoming Americanized, for this tooth he wants the Tooth Fairy to come. The last 2 were unceremoniously flushed. I think he's just discovered the value of a buck. I think I'll suggest dentistry as a profession and then never visit him at work!

What am I?

The last several posts (as you probably notice) are about life with Eli. I've struggled over the last several weeks to try and figure out exactly what to write about Lucas.

Lucas is just as big a goof ball as Eli and for the most part is adjusting well....but he is also our worrier, thinker and chief, deep into it, make you scramble questioner.

As Lucas is becoming more settled, at ease and opens up his questions are really getting tough to answer so that he understands and so that they are still honest in what he can expect living in a multi-racial family and community.

On the way to one of his games he looks over at me and asks, "What am I?" I'm left scrambling as this didn't pertain to anything we'd been talking about. So I in turn had to ask what he meant. His response, "Am I black?"

Of course my mind goes about 14 different directions trying to figure out the motivation for the question and also figure out a response. I didn't want to dumb down the answer to the point that he thought I wasn't taking him seriously, so we talked about Filipinos being Asian and that Asians do come in many different colors, just like "white" people are not all the same.

Then we had to progress to facial and body features and discuss each of those. It's a good thing our family has a lot of differences because I used a lot of family members to get him to understand that families don't have to look alike to be a family. So to each of the unsung family members thanks for being such a varied lot - you are a living explanation to Lucas as he starts figuring out the differences in people and hopefully understanding that he is wonderful just the way he is.

Dancing Chicken Wings

Man kids say the funniest thing. Eli especially. I don't know where he comes up with the stuff he does but it leaves us all laughing until we can't breath. Once again supper seems to be his comedy hour as we are a captive audience.

After this evenings' 92 degree scorcher of a baseball game we came home to have a chicken dinner. (Can you tell food consumes their/our lives?)

For some reason I'm not clear on, Eli began playing with his fried chicken. Usually it disappears before you have your first bite swallowed. As he is sitting there having his chicken dance across the plate these are his comments, "Oh chicken lives! It is dancing, dance, dance. (Much singing ensues and then) Oh No! (gun noise) Chicken dead, time to eat!"

What can I say boy humor is weird.

This Is Supper?

Tonight was one of those baseball game nights when we hit the door from work, throw in a load of laundry, check out how the day was for everyone and throw food on the table and head out to the game. We had pizza, chips and lemonade....not high on nutritional scale but a summer necessity until I'm off work for the summer.

Tonight was Lucas' game and Eli was staying home with his sisters as everyone is exhausted from Vacation Bible School, lessons, practices and games.

I had put the boys' supper on the table 45 minutes before we needed to head out and they each had 4 pieces of pizza and chips. Duh - I thought this constituted supper. Nope. As we are leaving Eli hollers out the door, "You come back, we eat supper." I said, "We just had supper, you ate pizza." "What!" he screams, "That was supper! Oh man!" With a great sigh of defeat and much hanging of his head he went back in the house.

Needless to say when we came home we had round 2 of supper.

Happy Fathers Day to Me?

"Mike's Crew"

This was the verse in his Father's Day Card.....

A father is called to do many things -

scare away monsters, fix a broken toy, be a coach

or a counselor...

But the most important thing a father is called to do

is to love with all his heart

as if the fate of the world depended on it....

because it does.

Marian Heath

"Happy Father's Day to Me?

That is the statement of the day today as we were explaining (or trying to) their first Father's Day.

Eli is excitedly nodding, which looking back I should have probably gotten a clue that the explanation wasn't sinking in. So after the kids had all signed their cards for Dad, I brought out his gift and told Lucas to go get Dad.

All was well through the card portion of the gift giving until, that is, we had to explain that Eli and Lucas weren't the one receiving the gift.

Eli, as straight faced and serious as could be, says, "No it's MY father's day, daddy is my father!" Okay......yep......ummm. He also went on to tell us that Mike is his now. From the picture you can tell Eli got to inspect the gift but it will probably be a few years before we (I) trust him using it.

Summer Craziness and Mom Guilt

Well we definitely have hit the summer crazy schedules.....Hard! I'm finishing up my last week of work until I head back the last week of July. That 5 weeks are going to fly.

I don't know what I would have done without Rachel and Sydney since school let out. They have been the chief transportation, daycare, coaches and housekeepers during the work day. And remarkably no one has been tied up, thrown out or lost....I'm not going to say that there hasn't been a whole lot of teasing from all parties and probably a few threats of "I'm telling Mom!"

I keep telling myself everyone will be fine for one more week but mom guilt stinks. I feel guilty about the girls watching the boys, I feel guilty about not being home when the kids are home, I feel guilty when I'm at work about everything and I feel guilty when I can't do the swim lessons, the baseball practices, the car hunting (Rachel's bit the dust) and yes I know I have an over inflated opinion of my vital necessary presence in each of these situations but the one and only wonderful thing about mother guilt is.....it doesn't have to make sense.

Belated Pictures of Eli's 9th Birthday

Eli with his best fishing buddy Chris and his very first fish - I'm not sure who was sorrier to see it go back to the lake - but the deal is catch and release cause this mom doesn't clean them or cook them.

The seasoned fisherman, Lucas. Waiting for fish #2. Very serious and too
busy for pictures.

Day 2 of the fishing week-end. The fisherman preparing for the long haul.

Nine Important Candles and One Very Tired Boy

Birthday cake at 9:00 p.m. after a full day and a baseball game.

Mr. Potato Head and His Creator

Eli wanted to make them look alike.

How do you think he did?

God, Good Job, Amen!

That was Eli's supper prayer tonight. He'd just gotten back from yet another baseball game and was beyond thrilled and forgiving of Rachel, Sydney and I for missing the game as we were at the grocery store acquiring his favorite thing.....food!

I very misguidedly took the boys to the grocery store a few times....lesson learned not again for a very long time. Neither I nor the bank account can handle that.

After devouring his meal, he wiped his mouth, leaned back in his chair, looked at Rachel, Sydney and me and declared, "Good Job!" High praise indeed and I swear he has not been starving to death!

Eli's Birthday Weekend!

Goodness! That is Eli's favorite expression...and it pretty much describes his birthday celebrations.

Again the indoor flooding issues affected this too. We've had to delay the much anticipated "cousins/friend" birthday party as there is no room -literally- in which to hold it but he did get to go to Burger King as requested and spent the day with Dad and opened his presents from us throughout the day. The day ended with his baseball game and then home for cake!

But the hit of birthday celebrating was his much anticipated camping/fishing trip to Okoboji with Chris and Jay McMurray. By Eli's description and excitement you would think (he does) that Chris knows everything related to fishing and water. Although that opinion was sorely tested as Chris tried to explain that no we don't have alligators or sharks in Iowa lakes.

The first night out Lucas caught his first fish, Eli had no luck - Chris was now stressing that Eli would be disappointed if he didn't catch anything on Sunday - but as fishing luck would have it he ended up catching 2 and Lucas caught another one - even up which led to no arguing!

It Just Takes a Trigger!

The flooding in our house last week took out a lot of things one of those being the internet router for our computer, thus the sporadic posting.

Last night was one those rare nights that Mike and I were alone at the supper table with the boys. Rachel and Sydney were out with friends. Another rarity was that we had the tv on at meal time. This has been a major no, no since the boys came home because it was a primary babysitter in their foster home and it let them zone out.

But for some reason we had the news on and sat down without turning it off. The big coverage was on the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. This was the first time that Lucas and Eli had seen pictures of the area. Lucas watched for a few seconds and said, "Oh No!" And then the flood gate opened. Where, why (big on the why question - we weren't able to totally satisfy that question) where again.

I'm not sure how but after the report was over Lucas started talking about all the effects of the oil spill on the water, animals, people and beaches. Huh? Number one - where did he get that knowledge (very detailed on effects). I don't know if the Philippines has off shore drilling or has had an oil spill around Zamboanga but wow!

Sometimes the boys' worlds can appear to those around them as being self involved but it just goes to show there is a lot going on it just takes a trigger then..... look out!

Explain Tornadoes, Warnings and Taking Cover....

Ok not a popular picture of anybody but it's a phone picture

and no one was particulary happy.

What can I say, when it rains it pours - literally. First the indoor flood and then last night our typical Midwest weather decided to spawn thunderstorms and tornadoes.

Mike was up in South Dakota so it was me, Rachel, Sydney, Lucas and Eli. Me - I'm scared to death of tornadoes, the girls are slightly better than me and the boys have no clue what a tornado is (even though I've tried intermittently since April to explain them without scaring the boys).

We watched the weather system approach for some time and I was gradually explaining to the boys that we may need to go to the basement if a "big" wind comes, they needed to put their shoes on (eventually I had to pull the mom card and say because I said so to get this accomplished.) Continuing with if I said go to the basement they were to go right now and no arguing, where we had to go in the basement.

When the sirens went off we headed downstairs through the ruined family room and into the lower bathroom with 5 people and a large dog. Did I mention my claustrophobia and that our dog does not smell particularly well in such a small confined area or that the teenage sisters did not appreciate their little brothers less than sweet smelling feet. It was a long wait until the storm passed over. No damage other than none of us will be able to smell anything for awhile.

Perspective is Important Right Now

That was what went through my mind on Monday morning at 11 a.m. as we discovered a pipe had burst in our finished basement, flooding the entire family room and part of Sydney's bedroom.

Rachel and I managed to get the water shut off (Mike and boys were in town) we called them and we started moving things outside as quickly as possible. Lucas and Eli hit the door with their eyes bugging out as they surveyed the soaked furniture and standing water. At this point I hadn't had time for a melt down as I apparently am not able to do that and constructively haul water logged things into the yard. I definitely felt myself slipping into flip out mode until I found Eli attached to my left leg and Lucas attached to my waist.

I looked down at two very worried faces and heard Luke ask, "no more house?", Eli's, "it's all gone?" Ok.....it's definitely a mess, we definitely lost some things but nothing on the scale that the boys witnessed last year in Manila. I explained, "no the house was ok, we weren't going anywhere and a vital piece of information.....the Wii and tv are ok. Lucas then wanted to know if we needed to go on the roof and "my room all gone?" Ummmm nope.

Once all those questions were satisfied you should have seen the grown up expressions of determination as they turned into an express moving service. They dug in with the rest of us until more help arrived. Once the other adults arrived you should have seen the expressions again. I caught sight of Lucas standing outside looking at everyone coming in and out, some he knew, some he didn't and you could see how in awe he was that there were friends willing to help us.

The additional grown up power gave them the sign to let adults handle it because the next "little boy question" was "swimming pool?" Ummmm......nope!

Not Easily Forgotten

When Lucas and Eli first came home they spoke often of people, places and things that happened to them in the Philippines. As time has gone on they still talk about these things but now are inserting experiences they've had since arriving home.

Lucas fights very hard to remember everything from the Philippines. He can tell you his daily schedule, the things he played in Manila, his chores at the orphanage and about all the people in his life. Slowly he is becoming "accepting" that there are pieces of his life there that he won't always be able to recall clearly. Not to say that doesn't make him sad, just allows for him to grieve it and open up for new experiences. I've written some of his stories down so later he will still have his thoughts if not the actual memories.

Eli doesn't seem to have that same need to remember every detail as I think his dependence on Lucas to do that for him has always worked in the past. We hear far fewer remembrances from him but that is not to say that he doesn't have them. Once in awhile we catch one of those flashes.

This week-end the boys were outside and I heard Eli scream, (ok they scream and yell outside a lot, so you listen for the "important" screams) Before I could reach the door Eli came running and hollering for Mike. When we got him slowed down enough to understand he was upset about hearing gun shots. We live in the country and it's not at all uncommon to hear neighbors target practicing. Our neighbors are not close but in the country sound travels. It took some convincing but we finally got Eli to understand that it was not the same kind of shooting that he had heard and experienced in Zamboanga and told him who it was and what they were doing.

Both Lucas and Eli have talked a lot about the guards, soldiers and guns in the Philippines. It also made a very real impression on us when we went to Manila. You just don't see a whole lot of that in our insulated world. It is definitely one of those memories I wish they neither one had and were able to easily forget.

I have to say that while we were waiting for the boys to come home last summer and were thinking of all the things we may need to address with them, gunfire was not on my radar.

Explain Farming - You Try It!

You know I write a lot about explanations to the boys about pretty much everything, which is totally expected and amazing to watch when the explanation makes sense to them.

Unfortunately, not all the explanations are absorbed. Tonight I took Lucas to his baseball game by myself. It was one of the few times we've had one on one time lately. The game was held about 20 miles from our home so we had "car time explanations" on the way to the game; what town is this, how far, where does that road go, where is my coach, where are my friends......you get the picture.

On the way home (it was a really long game!) I was tired and he was tired so the car questions were not played and I realized that we'd both been quiet for about 10 minutes.....totally unheard of for either us....and then I started watching Lucas which probably wasn't the safest while driving.

Anyway, he had his nose on the side window looking out at the farm land we were passing. I finally asked what he thought about what he was seeing. He asked what the green on the ground was. I told him it was corn that the farmers planted and was just coming up. He looked back outside and said, "That not here when I come to America." Again we went back over the seasons and that he arrived in winter and corn doesn't grow in Iowa in winter. He went about another 5 minutes and said, "Corn is good, it green, grow big all the time - no snow, more corn." I do believe the kid is still traumatized by this past winter. Wait until he sees corn that is 7 feet tall.

Then we talked about all the farmers he knows. He now thinks he should tell them to grow corn all the time so that there is "no more cold!" Guess the farming explanation will need to be revisited.

What's Your Morning Seranade?

Life...is not boring....even at 6:30 a.m. This morning I was getting ready for work and came out to the kitchen to find Lucas dressed, glasses on, sitting at the table ready for breakfast. Because Mike is busy taking a class right now I had asked the boys if they could be extra helpful in the mornings this week and help get ready for school. Well he did, Eli showed 10 minutes later. Yeah for the testosterone factor, their sisters were a "little" slower in the rise and shine department but everyone did manage to at least move before I left for work.

Anyway, I digress. As I'm finishing up my make-up I hear Lucas singing at the table. Then I clue in as to what it is. "All the Single Ladies", Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" and then to conclude the mix......"Michael Row Your Boat Ashore". I'm just hoping I didn't show up to work looking like a clown because I couldn't stop laughing.

Two Very Important People

Eli and His Teacher at the Spring Concert
Lucas and His Teacher

These past 6 months Lucas and Eli have made so much progress. One area that we had expected to be difficult was school. Without the help of their teachers and the staff at school, we know without a doubt they would not be where they are right now. Here is a glimpse of two people that the boys think the world of.

Birthday Wishes.....

Eli's Birthday Crown from School

He celebrated his summer birthday last week with his class
Eli's birthday is quickly approaching, 10 days and counting. As we sat, again at the supper table, I asked him what he might like for his birthday.
This wasn't so much an issue back in January with Lucas' birthday as he was pretty decisive on what he'd like to receive.
Eli very thoughtfully paused and contemplated his answer. I'm thinking ok he's really got a list to go through. Guess what he asked for..............

a cake. Mom please white cake with frosting!
Ok, I'm once again left with my mouth open. That seriously is all we could get out of him. With help from Lucas he asked for Superman and Spiderman. (Those being Lucas' favorites.) Later he came back and said, "Is cake ok?"
Yep that's a sure thing!

The Eyes Have It

Lucas has been fascinated from the very beginning by people's eyes. Blue eyes are his favorite as he really wants to have eyes like his dad.

This week-end we were sitting at the supper table, he grabs my arm and very worriedly asks, "what is wrong?" Huh? I said nothing, trying to scramble through the conversations going on at the table that he may have not understood. He insisted with, "What wrong with your eyes, they black?"

Ok, tact is not in the boys' realm, social norms pass them by so far. So I figured he was talking about the dark circles under my eyes. So I started to explain that. Nope that's not the concern. He was talking about my pupils. It was very bright in the house so they were smaller than I guess he'd seen.

He calls any eyes that are a different color than his, American eyes. I tried to explain that everyone has pupils and he did too, that it was just very hard to see his as his eyes are so dark. Ok that ended his eating as he had to run to the mirror to try and see his pupils. I'm surprised his eye lids are still attached as he pulled them every which way to try to see into them. Once again I lost this explanation because he wasn't able to see his.

Oh, Brother!

The following post is from "Big (and sometimes frustrated) sister, Sydney.

Over these months that we've had with Lucas and Eli, there has been many interesting things shared and said. I must admit a few times they've made me laugh so hard I cried a little. Everyone always asks how I am doing with them, now that I'm not the youngest anymore. Well, I am learning to be an older sister, learning to be on my guard at all times because they like to surprise me, I have also gotten better at catching things; they always keep me on my toes.

One thing that has always, and probably will always, catch me off-guard is when they say things in plain English. They will say them as plain as day, and it is usually directed at me. On a normal day it is, "Me no do dis," or, "Me no like dat." But on days like today, it goes something like, "SYDNEY! STOP POKING ME!", or, "Sydney, please help me with this!"

My personal favorite was tonight at the dinner table when Eli pops up and says, "Sydney's my friend." I thought, "Oh, that's really nice," then he continues, "Sydney can fly!" This is where I thought to myself, "Hm, I guess being his friend gives me magical powers." I'm not really sure what I should make of this, but hey, at least I'm his friend tonight!

I think I'm finally getting a hang of being an older sister now. It's kind of nice; although loud at times, it is fun. To all of you who are asking if they're picking up the language, most definitely! They might not quite get it all the time, but if you get them worked up, or they have something to say, they'll get their point across.
-Sydney Pickle

Screaming Snakes!

All I can say is yuck! Boys (and men because Mike was there too) can be so gross sometimes. Saturday was really nice here so we were trying to get some yard work accomplished. I was very happily mowing when I literally ran over a snake. Not a little one either (yes it was a gardener snake) but it was about 2 feet long. Let me say again.....Yuck!

Unfortunately for everyone including the snake it was not killed, at least not right away. I'm sorry I hate snakes ok? I did what I felt appropriate and screamed. Well apparently it was an impressive scream because it brought all the guys running....wish that worked when it was time to help in the house.

The boys who have discovered several little snakes in the yard prior to this are not what I would call particularly brave (they will deny this and claim great heroic deeds) when it comes to this latest encounter....they too screamed like little girls until Mike and our dog got ahold of the snake, then it was a complete free for all. I put the mower in gear and left the guys, the dog and the snake in the dust. The guys and dog are still here, the snake is not!

Personalize your own slideshow

"This is MY Mom"

Friday was extremely busy around here as the last couple posts give you a glimpse. Yesterday at the track and field, Mike, Rachel and I were busy running between the Lucas and Eli's events to try to catch each of them.

Many times it's in one of these "new" situations that the boys are learning for the first time that they also manage to teach and surprise us.

Each time I came into the vicinity of Lucas he would run up, grab my arm and drag me to his classmates and say to them, "This is MY mom!" First time I was surprised (I've met some of these boys before) the second time he says, "I have a mom." He'd point to Rachel and say, "Rachel my sister." Ate' has been replaced with sister. He really wanted to make sure that his friends knew he had a family. This was his first foray into introducing us to someone instead of us introducing him.

For a group of 9 year old boys to patiently be introduced to a mom and sister they are a pretty neat bunch of kids. They probably wondered why Lucas thought it was so special but it's good that they just envelope him as being just like the crowd. It was kind of nice for me (cause I know this too will not last) that my son thought it was neat to have a Mom......I know the teenage years await.

Baseball Scrimmage

Lucas and Eli are now moving into baseball as we are finishing soccer. We asked them before signing them up if they were interested in all these sports.....yes I know stupid question! Friday night after a morning at track and field day Lucas' team had their first scrimmage game. For those of you with boy athletes I'll say use your imagination on Mike trying to explain to Lucas and Eli the "equipment" placement before they left for school that morning. No I didn't take pictures! But it certainly is burned into my brain. Unfortunately Dad ran late at work so wasn't home for the "mom no help with this!" moment when Lucas was dressing!

Track and Field Day

Lucas' face speaks volumes

Click on the picture above to get a closer look at Eli's expression

Lucas and Mrs. Armstrong

Mrs. Armstrong helps Lucas in the classroom

and is pretty neat in his eyes

Eli placed 2nd in the standing broad jump.

The faculty and student helpers were so great explaining the

events to the guys as they'd never seen most of them.

Lucas' game face before the tennis ball throw.

All concentration.

Friday was a big day for the boys at school. That's to say that they got to spend the entire morning outside in the sunshine at the school's track and field day. Pictures say a lot more than I can. Only one thing....Eli wants to do it again on Monday...ooops back to the grind Eli.

A Family Is What You Make Of It

Supper seems to be a really good time for the boys to unload and educate us on their lives and to expand our own. We hear all kinds of things; Filipino memories, friends new and old, aunties and guards from the orphanage, school happenings and questions on everyday stuff that they've been wondering about.

I can't even tell you what brought this conversation around but I said something about my dad. My dad died in 2001 at 86 years of age. We have a photo of mom and dad but for whatever reason until tonight it hadn't clicked. Anyway when I said, "My dad...." Lucas looked at me and said, "You have dad? He go away? He come here tomorrow?" (We have family coming for Mother's Day) So began the discussion of Dad's death, what caused it and lots of references to Lola Katie's recent death. Eli wanted to know if his heart was tired.

You could see the gears moving and practically hear them. Lucas looked at Mike and I was sure he was going to ask if Mike would die but he didn't. He was absolutely amazed to know that I had a Dad that isn't here with the rest of our family. He knows Lola Ruth is Mike's mom and Lola Dona Mae is my mom and that Grandpa Jerry is Mike's dad but hadn't questioned the absence of Dad. One more hole in the family bridge that needs to be built. Later Lucas pats my arm and says, "You my mom, me you family now." I just never thought of myself as an orphan but that's a connection Lucas seems to have made at a time when he is comparing everything past and present life.

I AM NOT SOCCER MOM MATERIAL!!!

One of the first questions when adopting that the agency should ask and is totally not (at least in my spotty memory) should be: How do you handle tense sporting situations? How would you handle your child being injured by (I am totally understating this as this blog is viewed by children) unsportsmanlike conduct?

I should probably be glad that they didn't ask that question cause my answer would be that my heart would be in my throat, biting my tongue, let my husband go to the field (cause I may injure the little poop who hurt mine and take out a few Dads from the other side who thought the head kick after the ball was dead deserved laughter) and I definitely would fail miserably in not embarrassing my kid during the 1/2 to check out his eye.

The jury is out on whether Eli will be sporting a black eye and a knot on his temple for tomorrow's double header. Lucas, Eli and Mike all assure me that it is fine (the kid got nailed by a soccer ball after the whistle - come on!) and the injury will just make him look tough. Probably will. Eli may have joined some tough boys club with his first soccer injury but this is not a mom who enjoys this at all. Now that I've cleared that from my mind, I will restart my heart and go check him one more time. Wonder how embarrassed he'll be when he reads this when he's 18.

Mother's Day Gift Brawl

Well....not exactly. Lucas and Eli are very excited about Mother's Day on Sunday. They have watched tv shows with Mother's Day themes and have lots of ideas. All of which they've shared with me every night, telling me which ones they want to do....I finally had to break the news to Mike that he may want to do some planning or Sunday morning could be a little rocky.

For two guys who have not celebrated this particular holiday they are sure enjoying the build up to it. It's really neat how we get to see things as new and exciting that we may have been taking for granted in the past.

For the past 2 days Lucas and Eli have been one upping each other in the gift category. So far they've not told me anything as the argument stops when I come in the room and they shoe me away saying secret, Sunday. Then when I leave the argument resumes with much, "No! Mom's Sunday me this or me that." Hope they enjoy the day as much as I have in the lead up to it.

Mom, You Smell!

Well not exactly what you want to hear first thing in the a.m. from your oldest sons' mouth. But I took a breath and said, "Oh?" What can I say it was very early there were no clever responses in my brain.

He did redeem himself though. Lucas said, "You smell good (perfume) just like flower in Philippines." Ok I'll take that as a compliment but I think he may need to work on his delivery before he gets a girl friend!

Horsing Around

Eli and Lucas and Will the Wonder Horse

Aunt Teddie, Lucas and Cousin Loryn (not sure who had more fun)

Lucas wants a horse - bet you all are surprised!
The boys have been looking forward to riding horses at Aunt Teddie's house since they saw her picture with a horse that we sent them in Manila last summer. The pictures can tell you how thrilled they were.

The Wisdom and Insanity of Road Trips

During the course of 5 days this past week we spent 36 hours in a vehicle with 4 of our 5 kids on the way to and from New Mexico for Grandma Katie's funeral.

My dad was always one for vacation road trips as long as they went to the Black Hills of South Dakota, Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon. I think he was either insane or brilliant to pack his kids and later his grand kids into the car and willingly drive away from home for a week to 10 days.

I have to say if you want to get to know your kids (any age) better this is a sure fired way to do it as long as you have a firm grip on yourself, your wallet and your sense of humor.

This is the furthest the boys have been away from home and the longest since we came back from the Philippines in November. They handled the whole trip pretty well, Alison and Sydney handled it pretty well (Rachel had college finals so she missed this trip). I should probably qualify this by saying they tolerated one another in an enclosed space for extended periods with only minor eruptions and sibling disagreements. I'm also pretty sure Alison and Sydney will not be getting into a vehicle with their brothers for awhile.

Below are some of the dialogue from the car:

• Eli -"me no like Sydney!"
• Lucas - "what is thees?" (Texas)
• Lucas - "me no like" (Oklahoma)
• Eli and Lucas to Sydney - "speak ENGLISH!" (she said caballo)
• Trying to get Eli to pronounce elasticman - came out Eli-astic
• Eli talking about the mountains in New Mexico - "let's go up!" Lucas -"no you fall down!"
• Sydney trying to get Eli to try strawberries - tells him he's never had them. He says he has......strawberry Poptarts

And so went the billion conversations throughout this road trip.

So while my dad certainly enjoyed our family road trips I'm betting he secretly loved being slightly deaf from the farm tractor.