You Never Know

If you can't laugh at yourself who can (or should).

Recently, after the infamous, shall not be repeated day of family pictures, Walmart, zoo and Sam's Club trip, it is not an exaggeration to say our whole gang was "frazzled" when we entered Sam's Discount Warehouse for groceries.

I don't know why I thought this had to be done right then other than I'm too cheap to pay for the gas to drive back to the store when we were within 2 miles.

Anyway, no one was happy, everyone was cranky and when it came time to pay for the groceries Eli announces he has to go to the bathroom. Okay - Mike takes off with him, leaving me with Lucas, a conveyor belt of food and the dubious task of paying for this unmentionable amount of stuff. Wouldn't you know it...Lucas picks this exact moment to play deep, mystical and spiritual trivial pursuit with me. The conversation went something like this - keep in mind I am unloading a super size cart, handing the cashier my cards and trying to keep my feet from being run over by the cart that Lucas keeps pushing into me (this is my excuse for later)....
Lucas, "Mom, you grandma?"
Me, "What! No I'm your mom" (had a bad experience when someone asked me if they were my grandkids, so I'm a little touchy)
Lucas, "You grandma someday?"
Me, "Yes someday when you all grow up and have families."
Lucas, "You be old then." (Yep buddy you are making me older by the second)
Me, "Yes I will probably be old."
Lucas, "You be old, die, I be sad."
Honestly I think my head imploded. I just said, "Lucas stand there and be quiet until I'm done I can't talk about this right now, stop it now (pushing the cart over my feet).
Lucas, "Ok, I need to go to the bathroom."
Again, not being totally in control of my mouth I said, "No you don't, you're bored, you can stand there and wait." After this outburst I finally looked at our cashier.
As near as I can remember, I thought wow she looks familiar, she smiled and I asked if they had been busy during the holiday week-end, she said she had just gotten there from her other job. I, still not cluing in, said, "oh do you cashier somewhere else?" "Nope," she says I work for Holt International......................ding, ding, ding ......she's the administrative assistant for our local office, who did a wonderful job getting our paperwork processed and took my pestering phone calls. It was not my finest moment but it did serve as a clue that it was past time to go home as soon as we took Lucas to the bathroom.