Thursday, July 8, 2010

Nature vs. Nurture and Sometimes the Odd Coincidence


There is always the debate of nature vs. nurture in the world of adoption but over the course of these past 2-3 months we've started to notice some mannerisms, preferences and coincidences that the boys have in common....especially with one particular relative......my Dad.

Now the part of this, for those that don't know us, that is somewhat bizarre is that my Dad passed away in 2001. He never met our boys and didn't know that adoption was in our future. The boys know that my dad has died and that they have 3 grandparents now but we haven't introduced a whole lot of information on my dad just because it is very confusing for them to learn all the relatives they meet on a face to face level. The other reason for the limited Grandpa Earl information is that Lucas worries about my dad dieing so will Mike die too.
Tonight we had another of those coincidences occur at supper. My dad was an old time farmer with the habits (food and other things) of those that lived through the Great Depression. Sometimes he really had strange eating preferences. Tonight we were treated to a "Grandpa Earl" moment that I probably haven't seen in a decade. Lucas asked for more cream corn, I passed it to him but didn't notice what he did with it until Mike made a noise at the other end of the table. He made a cream corn sandwich with bread and his corn and ate it. He also does this with mashed potatoes, butter and corn. Dad at times ate with his knife, the boys do also. I will draw the line though if either of them picks up a stick of butter and starts eating it.....Alison still has vivid memories of Grandpa doing this.

Lucas also has clothing "styles" that were common to my Dad's later years, if I'd buy them suspenders I'm pretty sure they would be in heaven. Sometimes, especially Rachel and Alison who have clearer memories of my dad, will comment on these occurrences as things they remember about their grandpa.

So I think there is probably a lot of basis to both nature and nurture to form a child and then I think there is something to be said for the unexplainable things such as these occurrences that make me think my dad knows his grandsons are home and he's just passing along some of himself to them like he did with the older grandkids. Thanks Dad!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Lori,

    Wow! Interesting! Don't know that I could stomach the corn, butter, and mashed potato sandwiches, though I do know a few family members here who would like nothing more than to eat an entire stick of butter.

    Becky's friends tell her that she is just like me even to the extent that she sound like me on the phone and that our personalities are the same--which, I guess, makes me a moody teenager most days!

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