A Family Is What You Make Of It

Supper seems to be a really good time for the boys to unload and educate us on their lives and to expand our own. We hear all kinds of things; Filipino memories, friends new and old, aunties and guards from the orphanage, school happenings and questions on everyday stuff that they've been wondering about.

I can't even tell you what brought this conversation around but I said something about my dad. My dad died in 2001 at 86 years of age. We have a photo of mom and dad but for whatever reason until tonight it hadn't clicked. Anyway when I said, "My dad...." Lucas looked at me and said, "You have dad? He go away? He come here tomorrow?" (We have family coming for Mother's Day) So began the discussion of Dad's death, what caused it and lots of references to Lola Katie's recent death. Eli wanted to know if his heart was tired.

You could see the gears moving and practically hear them. Lucas looked at Mike and I was sure he was going to ask if Mike would die but he didn't. He was absolutely amazed to know that I had a Dad that isn't here with the rest of our family. He knows Lola Ruth is Mike's mom and Lola Dona Mae is my mom and that Grandpa Jerry is Mike's dad but hadn't questioned the absence of Dad. One more hole in the family bridge that needs to be built. Later Lucas pats my arm and says, "You my mom, me you family now." I just never thought of myself as an orphan but that's a connection Lucas seems to have made at a time when he is comparing everything past and present life.