See the Apples on the Tree?

There are a whole lot of things to explain to someone who has never been to the Midwest or to the U.S. for that matter. We knew we would be on a sharp learning curve (can you say almost vertical) but there are some things that I for one just hadn't thought about having to explain.

Temperature reached upper 70's today and we stayed outside until dark. The boys are so elated that their first winter seems to be over. Getting them to put jackets on is next to impossible even with goose bumps the size of walnuts after the sun goes down.

Anyway while outside they kept talking about an apple tree. I wasn't paying attention too closely because if you follow every conversation they have you'd be deaf and crazy before the day was out. Finally Lucas grabs me and points to a tree and says "Look Mom apples!" Huh? It's the last day of March in Iowa; the snow just melted and furthermore our last apple tree died last year. So I turned around to see what he was pointing at.....it was a maple tree which is budding. Try explaining tree buds to kids who still aren't convinced our trees have leaves. I gave it my best but once again I've been demoted to the most uninformed mom in the world. Oh well!

Elevation of My Parental Status

Everyone who has kids, was a kid or acts like a kid knows that growing up sometimes your parents were the absolutely most embarrassing people you knew. Even if they managed to do something cool (just by using the word cool I've put myself in the uncool category) you would never let anyone know it.

Tonight by being a freak of nature I attained both gross and cool in Eli's eyes. I have a "little" habit when I'm tired. I've had this fetish for as long as I can remember. Most people I know have seen me do this at one time or another. What? Well I have no cartilage in my ears and therefore can pretty much turn the upper portion into the lower. I don't know why, why does someone twist their hair or crack their knuckles?

Anyway driving back from supper I apparently was doing this. Eli apparently had never seen me do this. From the backseat with much shock and awe I hear him say, "Oh mommy, goodness what happened?" Oops, I've just traumatized him. I uncurled my freakish ear only to hear, "ooo! yucky! gross! COOL!" Lucas who apparently had seen this phenomenon before and ever the expert when explaining things to his little brother, pipes up and says, "Mommy no hurt ear, fold inside, POP out, cool!" Thank you Lucas for your support. I may be a freak when it comes to my ear but at least for right now he thinks it's neat. I'm not sure I want to know how he tries to describe this to his friends at school tomorrow.

I Said Stop It!

Today was a test of endurance or stupidity on my part. I took Eli, Lucas, Sydney, Rachel and myself for haircuts at two different places, then to lunch. Did I mention by myself? Now granted Syd and Rachel are fairly well in control until you add the "brother" factor.

They along with Alison have great fun in teaching them little"humorous" (translation - annoying) things while on car trips. Sounds, songs, phrases you name it they teach it. Then at times we add the sibling irritation to the equation where none of the four can look at any of the others without becoming disgusted.

Anyway Rachel and Sydney do a very nice job of trying to teach the boys correct grammar, letter sounds, etc. Ok I will be the first to admit partly because they want to be sure people (mainly Mike and I) understand clearly all their "cute" things they teach them. Needless to say their English is coming along and for the most part people can understand them. Even when we wish they couldn't.

Sometimes to add that little brother irritation factor they speak VERY broken English to the girls and tell them they don't understand, then giggle like crazy. Well today this had been going on for some time until the guys got on each others nerves and Lucas very clearly looked at Eli with an "I said to stop it right now!" Where then Eli shouts, "You don't scream at me!" ~ "You stop touching me now!" "Sydney help me!" (Sydney was of no help to either as she was howling with laughter.)

This is amusing on so many fronts;

1. They argued in English
2. I practically caused a wreck in city traffic from laughing (not funny at the time ~ probably not funny now either)
3. Sydney's follow up comment of, "Mom you don't need to worry about them learning English just keep them irritated and it's perfect." (thanks for that)
4. How they can scream full force at each other, sounding like death is imminent and then go back to playing with one another in under a minute.

I do not understand a little boys' mind~

Praise for the Men & Women In Uniform

We were sitting down Sunday evening watching Extreme Home Makeover (don't ask me but the boys are glued to the tv when it's on). This week's episode featured a family where the Dad was serving overseas in the military. The boys were listening to the opening and then when they showed the Dad in his military uniform Lucas jumped up shouting Philippines, America, America in Philippines then a whole string of Tagalog and Visayan.

We put on our Sherlock Holmes hats and finally figured out that we had read about 5 years ago the US Navy came into their care center and did some much needed repairs, brought gifts and played with the kids and sort of adopted the center. We had read about this project before the boys came home but since they would have been 4 and 5 at the time didn't think they'd remember much. Lucas was so insistent that the father on the show was one of those American soldiers that were his friends, there was no use trying to explain the difference between the army and navy. He clapped and jumped up and down when they revealed the family's new home.

So if you know a service man or woman and they ever wonder if the people and places they touch when they are on a tour of duty remember them....tell them yes and they remain in their hearts for much longer than perhaps anyone knows.

MOM ees hot!

These were the screams I heard when getting out of the car upon arriving home from work. We had our first "warmer" day today - 48 degrees - whoo hoo! Tomorrow it's suppose to be 65. The boys were so excited.

It struck me as a little odd that two kids from the Philippines should think that 48 is hot - goes to show just how long and cold this winter has been. Lucas was so convinced that summer was here and he would never have to wear his winter coat again. Sorry bud the weather man says rain and snow on Friday - yeah for the Midwest in March.

I finally broke the news to him at supper. Never a camera handy but his mouth dropped open and he screams (everything is screamed) NO! I HATE SNOW! Again it struck me funny that for kids who were so excited about their first snow they have truly joined with the rest of us that say enough is enough!

Past Due on Pictures!

This is what happens when Dad is talked out of a quarter for the gumball machine.

Thank goodness the sticky finally wore off, I thought he'd wear it to school!

Lucas' stuffed monkey may never recover from his facial hair experience!

Lucas and Rachel headed for the dance floor

Eli and Chris at Dad's Surprise Party -

Eli sporting his Sponge Bob bandaid which came with 2 lessons:

#1 - Never dart into street with Ate' Rachel within grabbing distance (she has sharp fingernails)

#2 - ALWAYS required to hold hands on sidewalks, streets, parking lots, livingroom,

(you get the picture - he got the reminder)

Eli Kayaking at a Birthday Party
All that practice he had sledding/canoeing paid off!

Happy Birthday Texas Style

Well today Mike has officially entered AARP status. Sorry honey - I'll catch up soon enough. Lucas, Eli and I took him to supper at the Texas Roadhouse where they were introduced to "Andy the Armadillo" in full mascot attire. Poor guy/girl inside that thing gave the boys enough high fives while we were there to have carpel tunnel!

Where on earth (or in their bodies) Lucas and Eli put all that food is beyond me. Even Eli's stomach bulge meter wasn't enough to slow them down. McDonald's has now moved to 2nd place in their hearts.

You BIG Dad!

Well as he is approaching his 50th birthday next Tuesday, we were sitting around the supper table explaining to the boys that we would be taking Dad out for a birthday supper this week-end when everyone can be home.

Lucas asked how old Mike would be. He told him 50. He swivels around to apparently confirm that Mike is not yet senile then in all seriousness swings back to Mike and says, WOW Dad you BIG! Yep - Happy 50th Birthday Dad!

Men of the House

Apparently I have two little boys who think women need a man to "take care of them." Mike was at a meeting last night, Sydney went into church youth group. That left Lucas, Eli and myself alone for the evening.

From the time Mike left for the meeting, through supper, book reading, tv time, showers and bedtime they oh so helpfully instructed me on how to do everything. Very detailed, very regimented to the point I wanted to say - "Look I'm not new!"

TV watching even involved instructions. Mommy you sit here, then they sat on either side of me, put pillows around me and sat quietly (that doesn't happen) for the entire show. Now the quiet was enjoyable but I kind of felt like they thought I was either too senile to handle being responsible for them or that I was a ticking time bomb waiting to detonate. Either way I snuck some cuddle time in without them realizing! Ha! Who's senile!

Have You Ever Traveled With 2 Old Deaf Men?

Well we have just returned from an out of town wedding. It was about 4 hours away and we were fortunate (?) to have all 5 of our kids be able to go with us. This was the first long distance excursion with everyone.

The boys had never been to a wedding and the uncertainty and crowd was a little intimidating to Lucas. Eli.....well resilient should have been his middle name or maybe we should have named him George, as in Curious. Unfortunately I'm not sure how many heard his commentary on the wedding kiss, "Yucky!" It seemed really loud to his mom. Once we made it through the ceremony and dinner they finally unwound enough to enjoy the dance. Finally! Pickle's who dance! I think they thought the whole thing revolved around them having a chance to see some of their favorite people (Gene and Pam ~ parents of the bride). Who knew Gene had tux pockets full of suckers; outside of the boys who seem to have radar for candy.

Anyway, you know the saying that if someone doesn't speak English just talk louder and then maybe they'll understand? Ya - well even when you live with non proficient English speakers sometimes it's easy to fall into that mode when you spend 4 hours in an enclosed vehicle repeating, answering, repeating, inventing new explanations, repeating and oh ya repeating. I'm quite sure there are some towns in Kansas that think our vehicle had a radio turned up really loud.....nope just us talking as if we are all hard of hearing.

On the way home we stopped to eat supper at Cracker Barrel which happens to be by an Applebee's. Eli wanted to know if we were eating at applesauce. Well that took 4 of us to help him say Applebee's (still calls it applesauce). But it does explain some other conversations in the car with him when I couldn't figure out why he suddenly started talking about eating applesauce. The we went into Cracker Barrel. Eli asked again what it was called. Simultaneously Alison and I said Cracker Barrel which came out rather loud as we were both saying it... he looks at us (you know that look kids get that mom's just know something is going to come out totally wrong but there is no stopping it?) and just as loudly says "Crapper Barrel?" Here is Alison and I shushing and he just keeps saying it. Thank goodness it was filled with the elderly and hard of hearing cause no one seemed to notice. Ok it was funny!

Mastering the English Language is Wierd

I was speaking with a friend who came to the U.S. from Korea 6 years ago. She had to learn all her English starting at the age of 26. She is always very interested in how the boys' English is coming. It is the thing that she has found the most difficult outside of missing family.

I think the boys' English is coming along about on track for where we expected them to be. Some days are a little clearer, some weeks we have full sentences, others we're back to 3 words.

But then every once in awhile one or the other will pop up with a word that blows my mind. I'm concentrating on teaching I, we, they, today, tomorrow, tonight. Well tonight they've both got the sniffles and a cough so we gave them some cold medicine.

Eli takes nothing without a full explanation of what it is, what it will do, what it tastes like and who else has to take it. I'm waiting for him to ask for a complete listing of ingredients next....but I digress....anyway after taking the medicine he hands me the cup and says "delicious", huh? Delicious....really. We struggle with the word I but can come up with delicious. Go figure!

Remember Those Baby Pictures

I was working on the blog and looked up to see the header picture of the boys. It looked funny to me and then I realized, they don't look like that anymore. The picture is roughly a month and a half old and they have changed so much.

Glasses, lost teeth, about 2 inches in growth, a little heavier. Just looking more their ages...which is good but it's kind of like looking at your kids' baby pictures and then realizing that they aren't babies anymore.

While the boys weren't with us as babies the changes that they've gone through these past 3 months are really remarkable. I just hadn't stepped back to look at their physical growth. It's one of those "glad they are doing well, sad they are growing up so fast already."

We have a wedding this week-end, hopefully we can get a family shot that is updated. Need to pull the camera out again!

Oh! Mommy You Sick?

Yep. Nothing freaks Lucas out as much as Mike or I not feeling well. I've had a nasty head and chest cold for the past 4 days and a headache that doesn't stop. Needless to say talking hasn't been something I'm doing a lot of right now and he's all about talking (loudly).

I must have looked particularly crummy Monday as he looks at me and says, "Mommy, you no good." Huh? He must have realized that didn't come out quite right as he backed up and said, "sorry, you sick?" Ok, I'll take that. Eli must have gotten the drift as I've gotten more hugs from him over the past several days. I'll just be glad if they don't get this stuff.

Last night Lucas instructed me, "you stay bed, sleep." He's not past that whole "take care of everybody" thing. I think I'll try cotton in my ears to deaden the sound when they get home today.

See Me Full!

Ok pull out your imagination for this post.

Lucas and Eli love to eat, eat pretty much anything, eat at great speed. Typical boys and I'm not complaining except for the speed part. They are learning to slow down but until they master it we usually have to give reminders and then at some point say I think you've probably had enough for now.

Well Eli has taken it upon himself to develop his own full monitoring system. He'll be eating along and we see him pull his shirt up and look at his belly. When it reaches a "Eli determined expansion" size, he proudly announces, "See...me full." Ok bud, I'm sure grateful that skin is expandable!

You Know When You Can't Make Ends Meet?

Well today was one of those days for us. Mike was called to an account late this afternoon, Sydney was going out of town with her speech team and I couldn't make it home from work until 45 minutes after she needed to leave.

Luckily Mike's mom and grandmother were willing to watch the boys for that gap time. Luckily for us all that the boys really like to visit Lola Ruth and Lola Katie. They had cake and snacks and colored pictures and watched tv. And oh did I mention that they rocked in the rockers? Yep it is one of their most favorite things to do. Rock in a rocker. Unfortunately when I picked them up I didn't have a camera, they looked like two little old men rocking away watching tv. When they watch tv they don't need their glasses but the rule is they don't take their glasses off without giving them to me (sometimes they actually pay attention to that rule) so this time they just slid their glasses to the ends of their noses thus only increasing the "old man" look. I'm not sure how may miles Lola Ruth's rockers are good for but I think the boys used up 1/2 their life expectancy.

"Explain I'm NOT Holding Them Hostage!"

That is the call I received at work this morning from Sydney. Let's back up, the kids' school started 2 hours late, mine started as usual. Mike got the boys around for school before he left for work and Sydney was to drive them all to school when it was time.

The boys were explained (apparently not well) that yes there was school but a little late starting. Mike thought it was covered when he left. Ummm....nope.

Sydney called to ask that I explain to them that no she was not being mean and refusing to take them to school. They had their coats, boots and book bags on and were ready an hour early.

First I attempted to explain to Lucas - his response, "no school now", "me go now" "Mrs. Armstrong, Mrs. McGinn at school!" Finally hit on the phrase that no his teachers were not at school yet and he couldn't go until they got there. That seemed to work for the coat and bag removal - the boots stayed on. Then it was Eli's turn - "MOMMY, driver SYDNEY, school" - I mentioned before routines are big in their (and our) lives. I did the whole explanation thing again and finally ended with you take off your things and Sydney will set the timer, when it rings you can go to school.

It all worked, Sydney is a little traumatized, the boys have totally forgotten it - Alison and Rachel probably think Sydney's just getting a little payback for things she pulled with them.

Goodnight Mommy and Holding Hands

Well I posted earlier this evening and thought I'd follow it up with something that just happened at the boys' bedtime.

Bedtime is very regimented; bathroom, drinks, lights out, kisses and good night. Same thing, night after night. It has to happen in this order for the boys to be comfortable.

Eli is our son who has not been real comfortable with hugs, snuggling, generally touching. We let him initiate whatever he's comfortable with. It's gotten better and better over the past several months. He comes up and will give us a hug more spontaneously.

Tonight happened to be the night that I was the last one in the room. I gave Lucas his hugs and kiss good night and leaned over to do the same with Eli. Everything as usual except when I went to stand up he grabbed my hand (he's not into holding hands at all) in both of his, pulled me down with our hands to his cheek and just held it there. Pretty soon (not nearly long enough for me) he let go and said goodnight Mommy. At a quick glance it probably doesn't seem like much but in Eli's world pretty bold move. Maybe he knew the "working" mommy needed a little bit extra tonight.

Working Mom Guilt - Not a Great Feeling

Well today was yet another snow/wind/ice (I'm not even sure) day off of school for the kids. Unfortunately I work for a neighboring school district who did not cancel.

I was really fortunate not to have to work outside the house when the girls were little so I never had to experience going to work and leaving the kids behind. It's not like I had to find a sitter, Sydney is a great built-in sitter. (one we are very conscious of not using unless necessary - listening to their ate' is not always high on the boys' lists of things to do - more like "let's see how irritated we can make her!") Mike was also working from home today. So no big deal right? Nope, I felt like dirt ALL day. Major case of guilt.

I remember one of my friends saying that she felt so guilty taking her recently adopted daughter to daycare. While I totally sympathized I can say I just didn't get it. You spend all this time waiting and then you have this brief time together and then wham - back into the rat race.

I have to say I felt guilty taking a 3 month leave at the time and now I'm so grateful that I did cause I probably wouldn't have lasted.

Mike brought the boys down later this afternoon to visit the office and get out of the house (probably to save his and Sydney's sanity too). The guilt didn't stop as they were getting ready to leave Lucas said, "you come home now Mom!" I explained I'd be home in an hour. Not good enough - "No you come now, no work, home." I have to say he has gotten very good at the application of said guilt. I need to be very aware of that but he has the ability to put on a face that would make the most die-hard workaholic chuck his job.

All survived the day, hopefully there is school tomorrow for all of us. I'm thinking that even with all the books we read before the boys came home that there is a really big hole in the information for after you bring your kids home.

Bumpy Brain and Road Rash at Burger King?

Today was what has become our Saturday since Eli started playing basketball. We went to his game and afterward Sydney and I went to Omaha on errands while Mike took the boys to Burger King and home.

Tonight at supper Mike says "Ummmm, we got road rash you might want to see." Huh? I know the basketball game was a little rough but didn't remember seeing Eli hit the deck. But not to worry I didn't have long to wait for explanations as Lucas and Eli gave detailed accounts as to how they played in the playground at Burger King where Eli acquired a matching set of elbow road rash. Lucas was not to be outdone because he explained what I believe was his head bouncing off both sides of the tube slide. I stopped trying to understand how this kind of play could be fun or why guys seem to think the more war wounds obtained the better the play time was.

As a side note I've also decided that I have to rearrange our places at the table. Right now I sit between both boys, I'm getting a sore neck as they love to engage in "ping pong" conversation. I realized this is the source of my sore neck when they were recounting their Burger King adventure and I caught sight of my reflection in the window and I looked like one of those bauble headed animals.

Sound of Music?

This is a common scene that greets me when I arrive home. The boys hanging from trees.

This just reminded me of a scene in the Sound of Music where the kids were hanging from the trees. Only things missing.....

the drapery clothes

the summer weather

5 additional siblings

singing (the noise coming from the boys was NOT singing)

and a governess (where's Julie Andrews when you need her)

Anyway they are quite the tree climbers, if Eli can't reach Lucas improvising a lift system with loose branches.....wonder how many broken bones we'll acquire?

Scooping for a Hoop!

Well when winter house confinement gets to boys they become full of energy and ingenuity. I arrived home from work today to have the boys meet me at the car door saying, "Come, surprise, come, special, come, surprise!" Oooookay, I'm thinking good school papers? Nope they had uncovered our patio which we haven't really seen since mid-December so that they could play basketball.

Something about the winter coats, gloves, overalls and boots just doesn't make for a whole lot of successful shots but they definitely got a work out making it happen.

As a side note Lucas lost a tooth and Eli received his first birthday party invitation. Now I just have to try to gear myself up better for my arrival home after work. It's been just a little over a week since I went back to work and having the noise of an elementary school all day, I was used to coming home to relative quiet.....ummm not any more.....all is good!

A Touch of the Past, A Friend for the Future

Tonight the boys were able to Skype with a little friend who lived at the same center in Zamboanga. We'd been trying to set this up for the past month and it finally came together this evening. They loved getting to see their friend again. We had pictures prior to this and they've been able to tell us a lot from those about RSCC, the workers, the layout of the home and day to day living there.

I have to say it was a little overwhelming for Eli as he has become our thinker and was excited to see her and her family but he couldn't quite get out everything he wanted to say so he was a little frustrated but since we ended the call and have had supper, he's started in with the questions and reminiscing.

Lucas was a little envious of the big brothers their friend has (don't think they'd trade their sisters but would add a few brothers). He is our best information source about life in Zamboanga and details. Eli is more of the worrier about where all the children are that shared their lives for the past 5 years. Tonight's visit was really neat to experience, I hope we're able to have more of these visits.

What Is Valentines?

That is a whole lot harder than you think to explain. Imagine trying to explain a "holiday" to a child that has never heard of it, now multiply it by two and then imagine two screwed up, puckered faces that burst out laughing when you fail. Long story short the explanation stands at "give your friends cards with candy in them." We really need to rethink our holidays. If you can't put it into terms a child understands perhaps it's a little more commercial than necessary. The boys had fun signing their valentine cards. Putting their friends names on them was a little challenging for Eli so Sydney helped him with some of the letters. Lucas surprised us by knowing how to spell almost everyone's name in his class.....go figure. I can tell you the boys took the whole card signing much more seriously than I remember the girls when they were in elementary. Now comes the dreaded wait for school party day and the sugar overload. Can't wait!

What Can Happen In A Year

It's been a year this week since we began working to bring Lucas and Eli home from the Philippines.

In this past year we've completed enough paper work to paper the walls of the White House (if not that than one very large office at the Immigration Department) we've read enough adoption books to fill 3 shelves in a library (beginning adoption, waiting to adopt, attachment, trauma, family adjustments, cross cultural adoption, international adoptions to name a few subject matters) we've had background checks by our local police and the FBI, we've completed social worker visits, parenting classes, we saw our 2nd oldest graduate from high school and our oldest move into her own apartment. We passed for approval to adopt from our agency, our government, the Philippine government and the Philippine Inter-Country Adoption board, our physicians, our kids' physicians, a psychologist and probably the mail man. We prayed for patience and really got a good lesson in practicing patience to make sure we knew it's importance. We received 3 dozen pictures of our boys. We learned some Tagalog. We were in and out of more of our government buildings than I previously knew existed. We anxiously watched as our boys survived 4 typhoons and massive flooding over the summer. We mastered security lines and body scans. We moved our second oldest to college in the fall. We received undescribable support from our family, friends, church and community. We navigated 2 U.S. airports, 2 international airports. Restrained ourselves (barely) with airline mechanical delays. We landed in a foreign country and were parents to 8 & 9 year olds 12 hours later. We learned more Tagalog in a week than we had in the previous 8 months, we traveled back to the U.S. with no major issues (thank God!) Our family expanded by 2 starting in February but was united in November. We've re-entered the world of the elementary school system, adapting to having 2 sons and 3 daughters, gaining a better understanding of the much heard of "attachment", entered the world of wrestling and basketball, re-entered the world of pediatricians, vaccinations and growth spurts.

Wow it has been a fascinating, wondrous and tiring year. But a year that we wouldn't have missed for anything....we have our sons, our girls have their brothers and Lucas and Eli have a family. 2009 was pretty darn good!

On Some Things Boys Are Just More Forgiving....

It's either that or oblivious. I was giving them the benefit of the doubt. I tackled hair cuts again tonight. I've only attempted it one other time when they first got home...not so good, so I've waited until tonight...why would I attempt that on the night before school, the night before I go back to work....I don't know, it needed done and I ran out of time to go to the barber.

Actually this time didn't turn out too bad, no blood, no tears and I only pulled Lucas hair (by accident) once. It's hard to aim at a moving target. Hair-stylists don't get enough credit. Appreciate your decent haircuts people! You could be Lucas and Eli with a Mom-cut.

Rough Day At School Courtesy of Younger Brother!

Well what can I say when Lucas arrived home from school Friday he was sporting a goose egg on his forehead. Even though I somewhat feared the answer I asked the question, "What happened?" (Nothing is explained solo, without hand gestures and a little shoving) What I was able to get was that the boys were horsing around and Eli may be younger and slightly smaller but apparently he tried out one of his new wrestling moves and shoved his brother into his locker door. More exact, his head. 3 days later the goose egg is still there and Eli is still grounded from PSP and movies.

Mom Were We Like This? I Am So Sorry!

Luke's Batman Cake

Hailey is Concerned About Luke Blowing Out His Candles

Eli Thinks Ate' Alison Should Play Too

Brandon, Aidan and Luke Inventing Their Own Games

Not Really Sure What Lucas is Helping Landyn With

Try Explaining Pin the Tail on the Donkey When He Doesn't

Know What a Donkey Is!

Lucas and Eli Both Received BDay Gifts

Coke Glasses and COKE!

No It's Not For Football

No It's Not a Motorcycle Helmet

It's a BASEBALL Helmet

Klayton Waiting For a Chance

To Pin The Donkey Tail

That would be a statement from one of our girls in the middle of Lucas' "Kids" birthday party. I had to laugh as the kids were really good. Just a lot of noise and activity. What amazes me even more is that I remember the girls' birthday party involving 10-12 girls, overnight, Barbies and a lot of giggling. Ok we had the giggling, there were only 9 kids here plus their parents and no one was injured, vomited or cried so it was a success.

I guess maybe the girls have this scary view that I'm always organized and apparently they didn't realize how much that went out the door when the boys came home. The party was definitely "free" form. I figured if the kids were having fun who cared.....a little different from the old days girls. Sorry!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Make a Smilebox collage

The Trip Back From Lucas' Party

As you've read from the previous days entries you know we've had our fair share of winter. Tonight we went to Mike's parents for Luke's birthday party, they live 1/2 mile from us. Well to say we had to go through drifts is an understatement and usually in the car the boys are not quiet but when Mike busted through the first drift Lucas said, "Dad, what you doing? Crazy!" and then silence rained until we reached Grandpa and Grandma's door.

Coming home we went the long way trying to avoid some of the deeper snow. Eli's running back seat commentary (I suppose he thought Mike could use the emotional support) was to chant, "Good job, good job, hit the snow man, good job" Ok took a second but I finally got that he thinks the drifts are snow men. Eli and Dad must have done a good job tag team driving as we made it home safe.

Happy 10th Birthday Lucas!

Wanting to get rid of the snow and start baseball practice - Good Luck!

Getting a call from Ate' Rachel at college!

The color on his cake was 2 shades of purple (NOT pink)

Well Lucas received some of his birthday wishes and not others. He was thrilled with the helicopter, r/c motorcycle and the basketball game to name a few but greatly disappointed that there was no school again today. (They just cancelled school for tomorrow too!) He had his treats bagged up for his class and it doesn't mean much when I say he can take them tomorrow when I've been saying they can go to school tomorrow for a week now and due to weather it's been cancelled. High winds and blizzards kept school closed again today.

He's had his favorite foods today which seem to be about as important as the gifts. Chicken, spaghetti (last night for supper) and then pizza and cake tonight. We went to Mike's parents for supper and had a small family birthday party and then he will have a cousins birthday party on Saturday with the all important Batman cake he has talked about since Christmas.

Still can't understand why there isn't a beach to swim at in Iowa on his birthday. I finally said, "Look around if you can find it you can swim in it." He looked at me, looked at the blizzard outside and said, "No! Cold!" Ok then.....

Ees Okay No More Snow, Dirty!

That is Lucas' opinion on winter in Iowa. After his shower this evening he informed me that it was indeed ok by him if the snow went away and was no more. Ummm....sorry bud it's only January and we have 3 1/2 months to go.

It definitely has gotten ugly outside the ice of the last couple days began melting along with some of the snow and now we have lovely calf deep slush, ice and brown snow. Gotta love it. I'm trying to prepare myself for the day the boys have decided that there is no green left here and want to go back to the Philippines.

Lucas did talk about the typhoons this past summer while we were discussing the "dirty water" outside. He told me how they couldn't go to their school for awhile and how the water was bad, no swimming.

A Question You May Want to Rethink...

I've been thinking about this post for almost a week and since it doesn't seem to leave my mind I guess that means I need to write about it.

The adoption world is a world that is somewhat insular to itself. It has it's own language, culture, law, education and hierarchy. Mainly it can be very confusing starting out. I remember almost a year ago when we started into the process that I was somewhat put off by some that I met within the adoption world who are very "passionate and opinionated" about their views as to what and how every process, approach and answer to adoption issues should be handled. I guess I'm just as passionate that there is no single one way for each adoptive situation and family. Thinking back (and stop laughing those of you that know how opinionated and vocal I am) I remember thinking, "Man I hope I remember not to come off like that. I wonder if they realize how off putting they are? No wonder people don't ask questions about adoption if that is the response they get." See within some adoption communities there is a whole perceived view on what is and is not politically correct for those on the outside to ask and wonder but if you aren't tuned into adoption you are unaware of this until you are slammed by somebody. I have to say it happened to me at a meeting of perspective adoptive moms early in our journey and I remember thinking (well I thought a lot of inappropriate things) and then I thought I want to make a concerted effort to not to respond to people like that.

For the most part I approach questions as whether people are genuinely interested, interested in adoption themselves, interested in the process or just being nosey. Very few fall in this last category. To what degree I provide answers depends on the motivation for questions or the privacy of the boys. If there is something that falls under the category of the boys privacy generally people don't mean to ask these types of questions or realize what the reasons would be to not answer them. Then I just circle the issue or depending on the person explain why (nicely I might add) why I can't answer that question.

There have been a few times that I've been blindsided by questions either because they are good questions that I'd never thought about or because people are people and sometimes we say stupid things.

Thus bringing to the reason behind this long winded post. Last week I had someone, who I've known distantly my entire life, walk up to me (in the most inappropriate imaginable place and time) and loudly ask (and not nicely) "So, how's your second family?"

Again total blindside. Well number one, the boys are not second anything, they are our sons just like the girls are our daughters. I don't know why this bothers me so much other than it's one of the few times that I've not been able to give a constructive, redirecting answer. Quite frankly I wanted to slug her. It probably falls in the category of think before you speak. Again we were not in an appropriate place to address her "question" so after a pause I said "our sons are fine and so are the girls" and walked away. I didn't realize how rattled I was until I got away from her. Some of it was the way the question was spoken, it was not in a positive manner or by someone without skills to properly form a question, it was more of a snide, you are ridiculous for adopting tone. I was a little "surprised" in how much I don't think about the boys being adopted just that they are our sons. The concept of adoption has played such a huge part of this last year that I'm not sure when exactly the switch over was made in my mind. Either way this encounter was good for me at one level, I had a VERY protective, possessive reaction. Guess for those tuned into attachment I've reached that level of motherhood with the boys that I think I could probably wipe the floor with someone who questions their places in our family. Maybe not the most mature realization but motherhood isn't 100% rational.

I don't want to in any way convey that adoption (the word or the process) is off limits. Most definitely the opposite. Without adoption in all it's incarnations ours sons would not be home, every aspect has brought these guys into our lives. Unfortunately not everyone we encounter is open to this and I'll go back to trying to be constructive and positive with our answers.

Ok, now I'm worried I will put off questions from those of you who have been so supportive throughout bringing the boys home. That is not what this post is about. Without all of you our boys as well as ourselves wouldn't have the wonderful support system we have. You are the ones who can ask the questions and will understand if the answers sometimes need to be evasive. Thanks for thinking out the questions and caring enough to understand!

Love My Kids But COME ON!

Can you tell by the header that yes once again we are iced in by a winter storm? Ha! I started to write this on Wednesday and was interrupted, now it is Thursday and school is still cancelled because of ice.

Love my kids but we are all driving each other crazy! We attempted to send the boys outside for a few minutes yesterday as they were begging to get out of the house. No matter how much we tried to warn them, explain the words ice, slick, slide, etc. they were on their collective posteriors within 30 seconds. Which is saying something as they are pretty darn coordinated.

Ice vs. the "Filipino Fire" = Ice wins and they were back inside in 3 minutes. Ice definitely not as much fun as the snow. My inside activity ideas are getting slim as they blow through them so fast. Maybe we'll bake we haven't taken on that project yet (yes I have lost my mind!). Now if we don't lose power!

2 Injections = Hershey Bar and Coke

Well the price of the boys' bribes have gone down immensely from the first bribing event. The first set necessitated new PSP games and a tranquilizer for me, this time they let us slip by with Hershey Bar and a Coke.

Ok, yes I know, we just went to the dentist but I'm not as worried about their teeth falling out right this second as I am as to whether we will get them to bed before midnight because of the overload of sugar and caffeine. Let's see late night or screaming, inconsolable wailing (me not the boys).....late night wins!

I'm not sure which they wanted to show off more their muscles or their band-aids.

What Were Birthdays Like For Lucas?

Well this is going to be a long week for Lucas. He has anxiously been waiting for his birthday and if you've seen him lately he's probably told you "January 25 - me 10!" He is definitely our calendar watcher for all events. The kids had yesterday off from school and when he checked the calendar in the a.m. he realized that his birthday is one week from yesterday. Needless to say the day was consumed with birthday talk.

It was pretty interesting to listen to him (and Eli as his echo) about what birthdays were like for them at the orphanage is Zamboanga. Now we have to do a little funneling as I think some of the descriptions were mixed with holidays other than birthdays.

We learned that they had a pinata, a cake (cake is REALLY important) with a glass of juice and then they got to have a bottle of Coke. We do have a picture of one of their birthday cakes. It looks like a regular sheet cake without the frosting. The first time I made a cake they were so excited that was until I started frosting it....you should have seen their horrified looks. They really thought (and at times rightly so) that I had a screw loose until I gave them a taste. Now it's an argument on when the cake is cool enough to frost. FYI Lucas wants a Batman cake with white and chocolate cake. He has no clue about receiving birthday gifts but asks if he can have a Coke.

Shoot the Ball Eli!

That was the scream that Lucas decided should be his theme for Eli's first basketball game today. Didn't matter if Eli had the ball it was what Lucas thought should happen. Eli on the other hand did very well, he went (most of the time) where the coach told him, ran the correct direction (didn't attempt to make a basket in the wrong hoop - one huge asset) and generally looked like he had a good time.

The boys on his 1st grade team play at the YMCA on Saturday mornings. It is probably what sports should be as the kids had fun, learned something about being a team and the adults were well behaved. Give it another year and we'll see how that all changes. We sat in on the end of an older girls game and that was down right nasty.

The video is short and Eli kind of looks like he's preparing for church but it's better than the still pictures we got. His coach got one thing through his head, "this is your spot", the kid can rebound....now if we can get him to stick to the kid he's suppose to guard. And he even managed to make a basket. Not bad for a basketball playing Pickle!

Dad, Eli, Dentist, Car Sickness Add Up To?

One huge mess! Mike did the solo parent thing and volunteered to take Eli for his dentist appointment. Oh - I'm pretty sure it's the last time.

He picked him up at school (where he'd just been given his fluoride treatment) and proceeded to drive 50 miles to the dentist appointment. I'm guessing approximately 10 minutes away from the office Eli got car sick. Ooops! Holy Mess!

Give the guys credit, Eli managed to avoid himself, (Dad's car floor not so much) and Mike got him settled and into the dentist (yuck!) The good point of the day - NO CRYING - although I'm pretty sure Mike wants to as he is outside now trying to clean the car. Thanks honey!

The dentist thought it was from the fluoride - Sydney's reaction was "Wow! He's got something else in common with me." .....she can't do the fluoride thing either. Can't say as I was sorry to miss this particular bonding experience but please don't worry I've been graphic explanations, gestures and just short of a reenactment so I'm ok with the loss of the actual experience.

Siberia American Style

Yes I know 2 posts in one day but this was something that happened on the way to the dentist with Lucas today.

It's very white and wintry here in Iowa. Snow, blizzards, sub zero wind chill, you and the boys would think we are living in Siberia. The boys arrived home mid November after the leaves had fallen off the trees and all the crops were in. No green except for evergreens.

One of Lucas' big things to talk about is when will the snow go away and when will it be hot. Our common frame of reference is on Eli's birthday, June 4. Anyway, traveling down the road he looks over at me says, "In Philippines trees leaves, no leaves in America?" Ooops, thought we'd covered this but maybe not. I had to explain that the tall, brown sticks beside the road and in yards are trees and that their leaves will come back when the snow is gone.

With his infinite wisdom and exasperated sigh he said, "Ya, ya I know, I know - Eli's birthday! Hurrumff!" Sorry kiddo welcome to Siberia American style.

I'm Not Too Proud To Say....Bribes Work!

Today was step 1 of 2. Lucas had his first dental appointment with a new dentist that came highly recommended. If anything puts a bigger stresser on the kid than injections at the pediatrician's, it's injections by a dentist.

The plan was that Mike was suppose to go with me today as he apparently inspires better behavior than myself. Unfortunately he ended up working an hour and a half from home today and couldn't go. So it was myself and "he who has the ability to scream like a banshee" by ourselves. So what did I do you ask? I bribed the little poop to not throw a fit! Yep - don't care what the "experts" say or the books - it's effective. It let him control himself as much as possible (only one short crying jag) and I as well as the dental office have our collective sanity and hearing.

We are so lucky that this new dentist is so good with kids. She has a lot of patients that are internationally adopted and is very familiar with issues they may have. I've never seen a dentist open her office up like this one did. She said I could come in and out as needed, she took whatever instruments were freaking Lucas out of the exam room, let him play with the water and suction, let him operate the polisher. She even handled it very well when he grabbed her hand when she was counting his teeth with a "sharp scraping device". I've seen dentist's flip when that happens - not her. Lucky, Lucky, Lucky - and bribes do work! Keep us in your prayers step 2 is Eli's appointment is on Wednesday and he doesn't bribe easily.

No Go Back Philippines - Even When You Get In Trouble

That's the million dollar question for Lucas these days. He's testing the boundaries which is good as he's becoming comfortable enough to try and bad cause there are consequences to the testing which he's not in favor of.

Tested the boundaries all week-end with me (how'd I draw the lucky straw?) and finally exceeded my maximum allowable point of no return. Got chewed on by me and then we talked about it with Dad as he decided he'd continue the behavior. (Talking to Dad about bad behavior is about as bad as it gets for him as they are buddies). After that discussion there was the usual few minutes of silence and then he pipes up and asks, "I go back to Philippines now?"

Well okay then......made mom and dad feel like dirt......may have been the idea too. We then sat and explained that this isn't like when they went to live in Manila for a few months, they are here with us forever, no matter how many times they get in trouble and we love them even when we are mad. Lucas' answer to this, "OK, I stay here, America with you forever." I'm really sure we'll be having this discussion a lot.

Genetically Engineered Whining

Ok. I just want to know. Guys. Young, old. Seasoned husbands, new sons. What on earth makes them all whine? Shopping - nobody's favorite in our household but just like laundry and cleaning the bathrooms it has to be done. Stop whining. This is not an island where food mysteriously appears - we have to go shopping! No I do not have to shoo (the boys' word) and go shopping by myself - you help use up the supplies and food - you help to restock. Easy concept - stop WHINING! I'm not kidding we have been snowed in and unable to let the kids go outside because of the dangerous wind chill for 2 1/2 days so you would think they'd have cabin fever and want a change of scenery - but no, not if it involves grocery shopping.

When you do finally manage to get all reluctant participants (yes I won! everyone went!) to the store, does the whining end? No. Whine about what kind of toothpaste, what kind of yogurt, what kind of "whatever", we had to restock on rice cause you'd think we were throwing it in the snow as fast as we go through it these days and the boys managed to argue about which kind of rice - which had I been able to understand the Tagalog words they probably would have had to go to the car as I'm pretty sure there were a couple of not so good ones. You know those "Easy" button commercials on tv? I want a "Mute" button for whining. Stop It! - Now I will stop - yes I feel better.

The Boys and Sydney Steal a Car?

No they did NOT! But I got you to read this post.....

Today we are having another snow "issue" 7 inches more and wind to go with it. Sydney drives herself and the boys to and from school. With all the snow we have her driving our Jeep most days and I have the pick-up in case I'd need to run into town. Today I needed to drive into Omaha and with the weather deteriorating I decided I'd better switch vehicles with Sydney. I called school to let her know that I was making the switch. Nothing unusual....until school let out early and she and the boys walked up to the truck and she tried to get them to climb in.....no dice. Both backed up said no, no Jeep, Jeep. Began looking for the jeep in the high school parking lot while Sydney was trying to explain the change in vehicles. Under great protest they finally climbed in and buckled up. Even when she explained it was our truck they still frowned and said "No Jeep!" I think it was a real quiet and disgruntled ride home.

Eli Was Seeing Polk-a-Dots

Yep - it's official the boys are truly our sons as they will now both be sporting glasses like everyone else. Eli went today...and did excellent for the eye doctor.....and he will be getting his new glasses next week. Unlike his big brother he is very excited. Only a little hitch when he was helping to pick out glasses he decided he really, really liked the polk-a-dot glasses on display. No we did not purchase them. Mike would have freaked! We'll wait to see if he's as excited to wear them when they get here as he is now. Keep your fingers crossed!

Eli, the Pediatrician and Mom On Her Own

Today Eli and I took a trip to see our pediatrician as he's developed a cold, cough and still pulling at his ear. Luckily the doctor says he just picked up a cold but the good news was that the last round of antibiotics seems to have cleared his ear infection.... whoohoo! At least for now it delays a trip to the ENT.

Better even than the health news was the fact that Eli let a nurse check his temp in his ear.... I admit to my own small panic attack as this was a different nurse than normal and she didn't know about our previous issues, she moved right in on him and went for his ear, he gave her a "you must be crazy if you think your putting that anywhere" look, I asked her if I could show him the thermometer first, then he let her take the temp. When the doctor came in he sat straight as a board,no crying, whimpering or theatrics (Eli not the doctor) and let her check his ears, throat and chest!

I'm sure the whole thing would be comical to someone behind a two way mirror as two "seasoned" adults held our breathes and looked as if we were disarming a nuclear warhead but hey the family hasn't dubbed the boys the "Filipino Fire" for nothing.

Eli is so proud and we are too of how far he's come in 7 weeks. Now on to his Thursday eye appointment, if possible he squints worse than Lucas did.

Sass Is Sass In Any Language

Yep most definitely someone who shall be identified as possessing testosterone (and is not Mike or Eli) in our household has developed a definitive taste for sassing me. Verbally in English and Tagalog and with body motions......anyone want to guess how well that is working out for him?

As this has been escalating over the past week-end but today when we finally had to make a trip to town for some medicine and other things "he who shall remain nameless" decided to pull out all the tricks; refusing to get out of bed, refusing to get in the shower and then to get dressed, refusing to talk (which why do kids think this is punishment to adults?) and then after being ignored by myself, his brother (who handled this whole thing very well) and Rachel and Sydney, decided to up the antie in the car and make faces behind my back while I was driving. Ordinarily this very bright, loving and considerate child has not brought this behavior to the table....yet. Shall we say the honeymoon is over and now some major testing going on? You would also think that this not stupid child would realize after being ratted out by his siblings that perhaps he should stop with the sassy gestures----ummmm nope. For the past several days I'd used every trick in the book (literally- all those adoption books) to address this behavior and always running into the blank wall of understandable language, that is until I dropped the "recommended intervention methods". So I shall say we had a non-physical, come to Jesus session in the parking lot of Target where the language barrier was dropped...amazing how much English is understood when a PSP is threatened to be eradicated.

We've had to have a few reminders this afternoon but so far so good - egg timer was also purchased at Target and explained that bad behavior would equal so much time without the highly regarded PSP. Have your kids ever had a toy that you hate but at the same time becomes your allie?