No Babies

Eli informed us last night that he "doesn't want babies now", as in present tense.  Thank goodness!  Mike offered to take him to a friend who has a little one so he could see that babies weren't all bad when he gets older.  His response?   "Maybe later but I think I'll get a dog....or a monkey, the kind with a white beard that looks like an old man.  Those have got to be better than a baby, right?"

I'm White! No You're Red!--

A person never knows what activity or conversation or argument you may be subjected to upon entering our house.  The screaming declarations of "I'm white!" and "No, you're red!" greeted me after work on Friday.  I admit it stalled me at the door.

I'm was thinking....okay they often have a conversation of "what are we?".  Usually it's generated from a remark or happening at school, so I figured that was the origin.  I went into the living room to investigate and offer guidance....I have to admit that the "no you're red" statement had me stumped.

There was no worry that I would have to pull out my cultural, ethnic explanations as what I found awaiting me, were Lucas and Eli playing X-Box Soccer.  They were screaming about what color their individual teams jersey's were......I left them to it.  Some arguments about color do not involve mom's participation.

Hugs and Homesick

Sometimes Eli has the ability to leave you speechless, smiling and crying all at the same time.  It's quite the talent.  As I was leaving the house for work, he slowly followed me to the door.....this is not usual as he's usually glued to the breakfast table until there is nothing left.

I turned around and asked him if he needed something.  He grabbed me around the waist and hugged the stuffing out of me.   He's not a kid who hugs easily or without a great deal of thought....his feelings and how he expresses them mean a lot...they aren't given lightly or expressed gratuitously.

As he's hugging he said, "Mom is it okay if I miss the Philippines sometimes?  I mean I want to be here but sometimes I get to thinking about it and I miss stuff from there...is that okay?"  Gulp.....a what point did we drop the ball to ever make him feel he couldn't miss it or that it was a problem.

While I couldn't cover everything in the little bit of time I had, we did talk about the fact that the Philippines are a part of his life and he would be sad and miss things and people from there probably for the rest of his life....but that was also okay and even more okay to talk about the things he was missing.

The silent brooder that he is, this is an area we will have to stay on top of.  It is so easy to fall in to the thought process of the further we are away from their homecoming that the issues become less....it's not the case.  Those issues evolve and morph and lead into other avenues...most likely for their entire lives.  We've known it, we know it, we become complacent.  Reality check in the form of Eli brings us back.  I have to say though, in some ways, I'm glad he is experiencing a little bit of homesickness just because for so long he could see nor remember anything that was good about his early life.  Time, distance, healing and love are powerful things opening doors backwards to shed a different light on his history, it's a good thing, it can be a tough thing but another avenue to travel and experience, pot holes and all.

Coach Assist

Regular season basketball is over and now Lucas and Eli are in the midst of tournaments.  Saturdays are consumed with all day basketball....luckily the boys play in gyms that are either in the same building or close. So far the game times have overlapped so Mike and I separate and each watch a game.

Saturdays' tournament game for Eli proved to be eventful for him.  The kid gives 110% to whatever sport he is doing, full out from start to stop.  He is also the boy who would have to have a limb severed before he'd admit to being hurt.

Half way through the last of three games he had to come of the court, limping with a nasty leg cramp.  It took quite awhile for him to be able to walk on it, then he reentered the game and was on the court about 2 minutes when he got another cramp in the opposite leg and this one put him in a fetal position in the middle of the court, his coach went out and had to physically carry him back to the bench....that one put him out of the game.

He had never had a leg cramp and had no clue what was happening.  He did learn the lesson of listening when mom is pushing fluids and also the newest word in his vocabulary....potassium.  I'm hoping his coach doesn't have a hernia because that boy is solid muscle.

Listen To This Not That

I can tell you from experience (I'm the youngest of 5) younger siblings do not like nor want to always listen to their "older" siblings when being told to do something.  What can I say, we youngings of the family are independent and probably spoiled.

Lucas and Eli have the awesome placement of the younger siblings with three older sisters....yep they sure don't always appreciate the helpful advice, directions or orders coming their way.  Then there are the times when your older sister, the elementary teacher, needs your one of a kind assistance for a school project, then they give their undivided attention and cooperation.

Rachel needed two, empty Pringle potato chip cans for a teaching tool.  She came home with the Pringles and asked if it'd be okay for the boys to eat the chips so she could use the cans.  Mom that I am, assumed that she would bag the chips and just let Lucas and Eli eat them at some point.  That assumption was wrong.

Lucas ate the entire can before I realized what was happening and Eli would have devoured his if he hadn't been at basketball practice.  After I pointed out that the ensuing stomach ache was self induced with the aid of an older sister and that perhaps he should use a certain amount of self discipline (I wasn't real sympathetic) Lucas' statement...."you tell me to listen to the sisters and then you tell me not to listen to the sisters...girls are confusing and you're a girl mom!"  Oh but his education in the male art of listening to what women say and doing what they intend not what the actual words say.  Good luck buddy!

Why People Stop Their Adoption Blogs

I know that I've pondered the question of why people who have diligently chronicled their adoption and family stories by blogging, have made the decision, sometimes without explanation to stop writing.  I'm not sure how you all feel out there but when you read about the day in and day out journey and gain so much by having this wealth of experience to learn from, it can lead to a big gap when the writer chooses to end their public journey.

I have to confess that during this past month, I've been so busy, over extended and after a particularly nasty bout of the flu running rampant in our home, I've let the writing and journaling slide.  As we celebrated the holidays and I've had time away from work, I've thought, "am I at a point where I should back away?"

I have never been short of subject matter to cover with Lucas and Eli.  They are ever changing.  I have loved writing this blog for the past nearly 5 years.....why was I feeling this reluctance to continue?  It struck me tonight as we were eating supper......there are still adoption type subjects (will probably always be) that I'm able to write about but what I realized is there has been a shift, if ever so suttle.

Throughout these past 5 years, Lucas, Eli and our family adoption stories and adjustments led the way to the majority of our living.  This has changed.  Adoption has become a piece of our puzzle, not the majority but a piece.  It does not always define us as heavily as it once did.

There are so many of you out there that have invested in our boys, from near and far, during these past years.  Please celebrate this milestone with us.  We've all reached a point where we are living and you will start reading about what life looks like from the next step in adoption....the part where life happens, not necessarily driven by but enhanced through our adoption story.

I hope you will stick around to see what life holds for us next.  I'm back to writing, I'm not abandoning the ship and 2014 will see us celebrating Lucas' 14th birthday, Eli turning into a teenager (that is so already happening) and hopefully a whole lot of family, friends and that includes all of you bloggy friends!  Thanks for continuing to journey with us!