Thursday, January 16, 2014

Hugs and Homesick

Sometimes Eli has the ability to leave you speechless, smiling and crying all at the same time.  It's quite the talent.  As I was leaving the house for work, he slowly followed me to the door.....this is not usual as he's usually glued to the breakfast table until there is nothing left.

I turned around and asked him if he needed something.  He grabbed me around the waist and hugged the stuffing out of me.   He's not a kid who hugs easily or without a great deal of thought....his feelings and how he expresses them mean a lot...they aren't given lightly or expressed gratuitously.

As he's hugging he said, "Mom is it okay if I miss the Philippines sometimes?  I mean I want to be here but sometimes I get to thinking about it and I miss stuff from that okay?"  Gulp.....a what point did we drop the ball to ever make him feel he couldn't miss it or that it was a problem.

While I couldn't cover everything in the little bit of time I had, we did talk about the fact that the Philippines are a part of his life and he would be sad and miss things and people from there probably for the rest of his life....but that was also okay and even more okay to talk about the things he was missing.

The silent brooder that he is, this is an area we will have to stay on top of.  It is so easy to fall in to the thought process of the further we are away from their homecoming that the issues become's not the case.  Those issues evolve and morph and lead into other avenues...most likely for their entire lives.  We've known it, we know it, we become complacent.  Reality check in the form of Eli brings us back.  I have to say though, in some ways, I'm glad he is experiencing a little bit of homesickness just because for so long he could see nor remember anything that was good about his early life.  Time, distance, healing and love are powerful things opening doors backwards to shed a different light on his history, it's a good thing, it can be a tough thing but another avenue to travel and experience, pot holes and all.

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