virus

No we've not dropped off the planet.  I will win the battle against the virus currently attacking my computer and hopefully return in the next day of two.  Thanks for checking back.

Discovering His Humor

Eli is hilarious.  He's funny when he's not even trying.  Usually his humor is reserved for those he feels comfortable sharing it with,  yesterday and again today he's decided he is comfortable with his new English Language Learner teacher.  It's taken him since the beginning of the school year in August to reach this milestone.

We knew he'd find it difficult when his ELL teacher who had been with both the boys since they started school, retired at the end of last year.  Eli needs to observe, figure out the person and personality, test them and then if they don't fail at any point along the way he may let them in to his inner circle.  Within the inner circle is a whole other world of hurdles in his trust meter.  He's a tough one but when you achieve it, you know it, a whole different world of Eli opens up.

Ms. Michael has entered the world of his humor....I feel for her because now she is the recipient of adolescent boy humor...Eli style.  Hiding behind the door and scaring her is this week's funny activity of choice.  Luckily for him she has a sense of humor and understands that she's crossed into his world of trust.  Now if we don't get a call saying, "Mrs. Pickle, please explain to your son that he can not be scaring faculty."

Free At Last, Free At Last

Lucas is free from his medical restrictions and let me tell you he couldn't be happier.  The specialist released him with just a few limitations for the next few days as he gets back into the swing of activities.

The doctor said he was really pleased to see how far he's come.   He explained how he wanted him to go about reentering activities and sports.....yep you guessed it.....Mike and I listened.....Lucas not so much.  He got clearance for P.E., recess and sports.....and then he promptly lost his hearing.  The doctor is very good at reading adolescent boys and took the time to make sure he got the point.

I knew he was going to be excited to get back to activity but he actually asked if he could start doing all of his classwork and testing.  When the doctor mentioned this part he actually turned to me and said, "See Mom!  I told you I could do work."  Really.  Like I had purposely and maliciously prohibited him from school work...yep that's not going to last.

Donate My Organs

I bet you've found yourselves in a conversation that left you wondering how on earth it began.  I know where this particular conversation started....it was a news report...about organ donation and a young girl who died in an accident and her organs were donated and the story of the recipient of her heart.

Usually Lucas and Eli will run from the tv in disgust when the news is on....after all a tv is only good for cartoons and x-box games...this time, I don't know exactly why they both sat forward on the couch and listened to the entire story.  When the news program went to commercial, oh how the questions started flying.

How, why, when, where, but why, to name a few.  Thirty minutes later, I'd exhausted every bit of the information I was able to give on the subject.  When something strikes these guys as interesting or important, they don't accept the easiest or shallowest of explanations.

Something that never ceases to amaze me, from the very first time we met them in the offices of KBF on a hot Manila morning, they exchanged "the look".  It is something to witness.  If you see it, you will know that there is a whole world of thoughts and communication going on between them.

Eli said, "I didn't know such a thing was possible."  Lucas, "Can anyone give their organs, even us?"  That began a whole new conversation about what they truly understand and what their wishes would be.  It's not a quick one, it's not one to have lightly and it can be a decidedly uncomfortable one but what an impact this girls' life and her families unselfishness following her death has had on two kids who didn't know the possibilities.

Ending In Laughter

I can't say that when I arrived home this afternoon that I expected to be greeted with a yelling, "Hey Mom!  How was your day?" coming from the direction of the living room as I was coming in the back door.

It's not a totally unfamiliar question but as I started to answer while walking into the living room I was greeted with this......

Lucas must have known I needed a laugh.  He also guessed right when he presented me with a bowl of popcorn, a soda and the remote, telling me to relax.  He's definitely on the mend.  

Nanny vs. Care Facility

I'm certainly glad that Lucas is feeling better....I'm glad to have the return of his humor....or his brutal honesty (maybe).  He has the ability to be sweet yet brutally thoughtful.

These past few nights he has returned to his information spewing self during supper time.  This evening he and Eli were discussing the merits of becoming famous.  They have already come to the decision that they will be famous but in what area or areas are still up for debate (with one another because no one else will feed into their fantasies).

Lucas leaned over to me, patted my knee and said (with a straight face) "Don't worry mom.  You will probably still be alive when we are famous.  I will have a lot of nannies."  Now I am a little slow sometimes and did not possess the smarts to not be baited by his comment.  I said,  "Nannies?  Why are you going to have a lot of kids that you need more than one nanny?"

He grins (never a good sign when in this type of discussion) and says,  "No, for you and dad.  I will get you lots of nannies to take care of you cause you'll be old and that way you don't have to go to a place full of other old people like you.  I will make our house bigger so you and the nannies can be over there and I'll be over here but I'll still see you."

Eli, much more direct and totally irreverent,  "Don't worry, mom, when I'm famous I'll come see you so you can be sure I'm okay but then I will have to leave again so I can keep being famous."

Well I'm sure glad they've got goals as well as our retirement/elder care needs all figured out.

Heart Stopping

I wish for each of you to have someone like Eli in your lives.  He is quite frankly amazing.  He is a gentle soul, full of mischief, humor, orneriness, intelligence and insight.  Amazing.   In these last few weeks while Lucas recovers, Eli's lost a little bit of his spontaneous humor.  I'm glad to report that this evening we saw our first glimpse of it's return.

We treated the boys to Chinese food.  They would eat it every day of the week. for 3 meals a day if we'd let them.  If we throw in chop sticks it's better than Christmas morning.  I gave up waiting for them to finish their 3rd helpings and started cleaning up.

Twenty minutes later I hear them push their chairs back with accompanying loud groans.  Eli then says,  "I'm so full my heart has stopped.  I know it doesn't have room to beat, my stomach is pushing on it!"  Forget how hard I laughed, Luke laughed harder and that is a sound that's been scarce lately, it did this mom's heart good.

Writing the Memories

No matter how your family has been created I would encourage all of you to contemplate the following.  If for some unforeseen reason you were to no longer count on your memory to pass on your history, family stories or day to day happenings, what would you do?

This is something that has been very much a part of our lives these past three weeks since Lucas' injury and memory loss.  While his memory is much improved, there are gaps.  Lucas was the chief caretaker of he and Eli's memories of the Philippines.  He has related stories on their birth family, orphanage, friends and caregivers, day to day life, feelings and thoughts as they waited for a forever family.  When those memories were temporarily interrupted and are still being recovered, it has driven home one very important thing....all those times that I've felt too tired to write another one of their stories or memories, every time I've thought "oh I'll write that later"....and then couldn't remember what it was or never went back...those memories could be forever gone in the blink of an eye and one more piece of Lucas and Eli's lives would be missing.

In adoption especially at the onset of the process there is a lot of talk about creating life books.  I have to admit the thought of undertaking more paper and writing was less than appealing.  I was horrible at keeping our daughters' baby books up to date, I knew I'd probably have the same track record in creating something like that for the boys.

I stumbled into blogging, initially as a way to ease the frustration of the process, then as a way to feel like I had something to do while we waited to travel, then as a way to hopefully let other adopting parents know what our journey has been like for us.

In the last 3 weeks I've come to realize that while this journaling has not been perfect, consistent or all inclusive it has provided a source to record their memories, a history that could have easily been lost through injury.

So, I'd like to encourage all of you to write, record or share in whatever form you are comfortable with.....but do it, record those precious memories, preserve your history and those of your children.  You can never know when those documented memories may be needed to be recreated in an effort to keep your family from losing a precious piece of their lives.