The Field of Medicine

One of the areas where we've been making slow if not backwards strides at times with the boys is with needing to take medicine.

Their orphanage did not have access to a lot of things one of those being medicines that most of us take for granted. Medicines they did have were used sparingly and some out there may argue that we'd all do better if we didn't rely on over the counter meds as we do....debateable for sure.

We talk and talk to the boys about the need for them to let us know when they aren't feeling well. I hate walking in to tuck them in at night to find Lucas crying cause he has a nasty headache or the knot on his shin from baseball has doubled in size since I'd looked at it earlier. They cover any illness or injury very well. What we've learned over time from Lucas is that when you were sick in the orphanage the sick one would have to go to the infirmary which was not a good place and they were split up, they never knew for how long. It must have scared them to death because we have to play 400 questions to figure out the problem (that's assuming we catch that they aren't feeling well.)

We are making progress, Lucas now knows that a headache won't mean he suffers in silence, Tylenol is his friend and Aleve helps with muscle pain. He's not a frequent requester by any means but he no longer suffers in silence. Band aids are another matter, I'm investing in stock.

Eli....not so much progress.....the quickest way to know he doesn't feel good; he either ends up sitting as close to you as possible or has a pinched looking face. That is until the middle of supper the other night. He looked up from his plate...that by itself should have warned me.....to announce, "Mom. I need that medicine. My arm no good from baseball. I cannot move it right. I need it to feel better." We did try some ice and a warm shower which alleviated the need for a pill but hey it's progress in the field of medicine.

Spider Man Bites

We were outside trying to mow the yard before the next rain storm hits...seems like it's a daily occurrence lately. I'm mowing, Rachel is mowing, Sydney is fixing us lunch and Lucas and Eli are suppose to be picking up sticks and limbs from last nights storm.

What the boys were actually doing was picking up a couple sticks and then playing, picking up a few more and riding bikes, picking up some more and then playing in the mud. Little do they understand that even though I am on a riding mower I do know what they are and aren't doing. So for every round of the yard I made I'd have to scream over two mowers' noise and tell them to stay on task.....it's a whole lot of yelling going on in the Pickle yard.....pretty sure the roofers repairing our neighbors roof 1/4 mile away wondered what kind of people make so much noise.

So in one of my many stops for instructions or maybe it was when the boys flagged me down, Lucas informs me that he has been bitten by Spider Man. Ok. I had seen Spider Man in the mud puddle earlier so .....who knows. Finally he explains that no, it was not Spider Man but a spider that he picked up in the garage. Urgghh! So mowing stopped, disinfections, bandaging and observation begins. I'm waiting for Mike to get home so I can finish mowing cause it's just not happening with the help of the spider bitten, mud balls that are our sons trying to help.

Eli Has a Calling

His calling ....to become a driving instructor. Please disregard the fact that he has little judgement on the go cart. Faster the better and if he clips a few things on the way by...it's what you are suppose to do.

I have managed to curtail his back seat driving when I'm behind the wheel but he's managed to get his fix of bossing someone's driving and that would be the other people on the road.

We were headed to a baseball game and his instructions, to the "challenged driver" in front of us, went something like this...

"He is not driving right. He is all over road! He's not suppose to drive in MIDDLE! He's on the left, he's on the right. Why is he putting his brake lights on all the time. He drove off the
road! He not know how to drive! He's on wrong side, this is no passing, the sign says no passing. There is no car to pass...he's on the wrong side. URGHH! He not good driver, he needs to stop."

So. Lessons for all of us here. Never drive to a game following a challenged driver, with Eli in the back seat you will be deaf and also have to pull over as you are now laughing too hard to drive yourself. Also if you or anyone you know should come across a driving instructor in about 15 years by the name of Eli Pickle.....take a bus.

Dude! Be QUIET!

I wish I could figure out a way to record the conversations the boys' have between themselves....they'd probably sue me later in life.

I was sitting in the kitchen and they were playing in their room. Mom's will understand this, you know your kids are talking but you aren't tuned 100% into their conversation unless you hear that certain voice tone that warns of imminent issues? Yep. That one.

I'm noticing laughing and the ridiculous sounds only boys playing Spider Man vs. Iron Man can make. Then I hear Eli say, "Dude! Be QUIET! Stop talking!" and then silence. I waited for the explosion from Lucas. Nothing. Then Eli continues, "Dude (I don't know who taught him this word, I'd like to visit with them) you should use your brain! What? Don't you know English? Stop making so much noise!"

At this point I've decided I'm having an auditory hallucination. Eli is telling someone else to be quiet, use his brain and stop making noise? Eli who could compete with a stadium full of people for noise and pure chaos? And then to have him recognize that the volume was getting out of control? I think someone switched kids on me.

After several minutes of quiet....something that does not happen.....guess who finally broke the quiet.......me. I couldn't stand it. I had to know what the problem was that could initiate such absolute quiet.

Eli's take on the situation? "Mom. Lucas talk too much. He should be more quiet. Why does he have to talk all the time? (facing Lucas he says) "DUDE, you make my head hurt!"

My mature, motherly response. I burst out laughing. Are you kidding me. This coming from the kid who can bring on migraines and down planes with his volume. I did manage to drink an entire cup of coffee before Eli got over his need for quiet and the decibels once again reached the heavens.

How did Lucas handle this directive from Eli? I think he was in shock because he wasn't upset or mad. He just sat there, looking at Eli as if he didn't recognize him either.

Part of the Game

If you have kids in sports you probably prepare yourself for the occasional injury. I brace myself at each ball game.....I did this to the girls with piano contests...you never know when the piano bench could spontaneously combust :) I'm not a good, take it as it comes sports parent. Lucas pitches and plays 3rd base. Eli is playing up a grade level and plays 2nd base and center field.

It's amazing how much faster the throwing is and how much harder they hit this year over last. I anticipate the baseball plowing into them as each teams' pitchers try to perfect their aim. So far Lucas has been hit twice, Eli's shirt has skid marks from a pitch today and so far they've both walked away each game.

Unfortunately I didn't really contemplate the damage that could be wreaked by my kids on others. Now I'm having guilty parent thoughts (like I could have done anything to change these unfortunate events.) Lucas hit a line drive this past week and for some reason the other teams' pitcher took a dive for it, it hit the back of his hand and busted it. Oh my! Then in today's game Eli, who came out swinging for all he was worth, drove a foul ball right into a car's windshield and let's just say those people had to drive home with their heads half way out the side window. Yikes! This season can't end fast enough.....we have a game tonight.....let's hope everyone and their property goes home safely.

Big Sister Tattling

Mike and I came home Friday to find the following on the computer. It's written by Sydney, aka frustrated, big sister brother sitter. It made us laugh .... and also pay her $20.00 to attend the Renaissance Fair for her hard work.

Posting from Sydney ~
I thought only parents had selected hearing; this thought process of mine was proven wrong Friday afternoon. While I was watching my brothers, there would come times for them to do chores. This entails them having to listen to me…which has never been a favorite thing of theirs, as is, I am a woman. I would find myself saying, multiple times, “Boys, it’s time to take out the trash.” Then that quickly turned to, “Boys, PLEASE take the trash out.” And not long after that, “Boys, take the trash out now, or I’ll have to call dad.” Eventually, on their own time, they would do it. This went on, and the day tended to stretch itself out as the boys like to test me. I believe Eli found the spot that really makes me tick when, at 11:00 am, he appeared before me and stated, “Make me a swammich.” Yes, he wanted a sandwich, I’m sure because they’d just finished with swimming lessons, but that is NOT the way to ask for one from his big sister who doesn’t have patience with chauvinistic men. These incidences occurred all day, and the noise level kept rising, until...it happened. For the very first time, my brothers responded to me the first time when I said, almost at a whisper, “Do you want a chip?” It made me laugh to myself, and made the entire day worth it. Selective hearing is amazing; I almost wish I could acquire it.

Mom posts ~ I hate to tell Sydney this but she developed and perfected selective listening at the age of 3. She's now just meeting her match :)

Mom. I Don't Feel Good

Another new area of difference between parenting boys and parenting girls....at least ours. Boys are just sick without the drama.

Both our boys still haven't gotten used to riding in cars, lets just say major car sickness unless we use Dramamine and then it's the same as if I'd hit them with a brick.

Because of all the road closures in our area due to flooding we are having to take a lot of windy, hilly back roads in order to travel anywhere. This is not good for the travel challenged.

Eli made it a whole 48 miles today before the dreaded, "Mom, I don't feel good." and in true boy style grabbed our travel trash can and urped. Once done he grabbed a bottle of water, swished and that was it. It made me think back to road trips when the girls were younger, one of the three inevitably got sick. The difference was the aftermath. The crying, whining and general "I don't feel good so therefore you will understand my level of misery" that everyone was subjected to.

I'm not saying that the girls didn't feel good and I too whine when sick (think I know where they acquired their whining skills) but Lucas and Eli just take it, deal with it and move on. Good for them, pretty sure that the females of the family will never surpass them in this area.

Solutions for Boredom

1. Eli (big time - naughtiness seems to be his solution)


2. Lucas (watching his brother get into trouble is his solution)


3. Mom (determined to not let boredom or boys win)

It has rained for the past two days and being enclosed in a house with a 10 and 11 year old will give new dimensions to my ability to create distractions. Last night I threw in the towel, it was that or get out the duct tape. I threw in the mom towel and told dad it was his show.

I want someone out there to explain why it is that when dad comes on the scene of the mouthy, ornery, disobedient behaviors, they vanish....the behaviors not the children. And then the pint sized cherubs manage to convince the father figure that mom is crazy, they are perfect angels.

I don't care if it's raining tomorrow, they will go outside even if it's to take a rain shower. They always tell me that's how they took showers in the Philippines. I'm thinking it wasn't so much to get clean as it was to give the Ate's a break.

Iowa Rednecks

Father and sons bonding. What do you envision when you think about it? Playing catch, working on projects together...nice pictures, right?

On Monday evening we were once again relegated to our basement where a nasty thunderstorm with hail and possible tornado sent us...without electricity. As we sat there in the dark watching radar on our cell phones and the boys playing video games by candle light, a mom can learn a lot about her sons' daytime activities.....some of which the "oh so guilty father" would just as soon not be brought up.

You see, Mike, Lucas and Eli disappeared that afternoon to pickup some things from town...or so I thought. I knew they were gone a long time but they are after all guys, easily distracted. Apparently while they were picking up things they also helped to move some things that are going to be used at church camp.....toilets. Eli is telling me all about how they put them in the back of the pickup, how heavy they were and that they weren't dirty....for which I was grateful. Then Lucas says, "We saw Aunt Debbie. We waved to her cause she could see us. We ride in the back of pickup." Ok. Mike, Lucas and Eli know that this is not my idea of safety even though almost every kid in this farming community has done and continues to do so. But before we could once again have this discussion, Lucas continued..."It's ok mom. We sit on the toilets. We didn't stand up." WHAT! Yes. In their fathers' redneck mind, this was hilarious. Our boys riding in the back of a pickup, in the open, sitting on toilets.

Lucas and Eli continued to rave about how comfortable they were to sit on, blah, blah, blah. Until they realized that all three of their sisters were stunned silent and I did not have a pleasant look on my face, Mike was studying the floor intently. The boys finally stopped the story of the "glorious, public toilet ride" and figured out maybe we should talk about other things.....

Don't Snort the Pepper

Tasting things to Eli is about as important as sniffing them...not quite...he smells everything. Food, toys, the dogs, his brother, his shoes.....we'll call him an eccentric smeller or just a little strange in regards to odors.

Anyway, at lunch on Sunday, he asked for the salt and pepper. He decided that the pepper was the most interesting thing on the table. "Is it spicy, is it hot, does it smell." It did have something to do with the pepper shaker shape as it was just too tempting to resist but he had to smell it......resulting in the pepper shaker being emptied and sanitized and him with a snoot full of pepper. Another smelly lesson learned.

What I Learned At Swim Lessons

This morning was day 1 of swim lessons for Lucas and Eli. It was day 1...they did fine but this isn't about what they learned as much as what I learned.

As many of you know, you take your kids to swim lessons, some moms stay and watch, some drop and run for 30 minutes of peace. Today I stuck around as we (Lucas and Eli) seem to be experiencing a high degree of not listening....didn't want the high school swim instructor frustrated on day 1...we'll wait til day 3.

Let me start by saying we live in a small, Midwestern town. From the beginning of our adoption journey our community has been supportive, helpful and understanding. The boys arenot the only internationally adopted kids in town. As a whole it's been a very positive place for the boys.

As can be found anywhere there are those pockets of less than accepting individuals. Most of the time this hasn't been a problem...actually the hardest part in dealing with people of "diminished social awareness" is determining if it's honest interest, ignorance or prejudice. Unfortunately, having to deal with the last on the first day of swim lessons (early in the a.m., with no coffee) is probably not the best time for me to "educate" someone...fortunately I didn't have to, the educator proved to be the 6 year old girl of the offender.

This person, whom I didn't recognize, was sitting behind me and had also seen me walk in with the boys...so I would think she'd been able to connect the dots...maybe she did and it was part of her "issue". About half way though lessons I hear her start questioning about who the boys are, "where did they come from" (not in a nice way), what race they were.....now understand I'm cleaning up the language of these questions....a lot.

I'd reached my decaffeinated level of patience and started to turn to introduce myself and my boys when I hear this little girl say, "Mom, that is Lucas and Eli. They are from here, they didn't use to be. They used to be from a far away place, I think it's called Flipins (she tried but couldn't quite get it out)...They are really nice, Lucas helped me find my room. Eli is nice to me. Lucas is bigger, Eli is the littler one. They are nice, you can say hi to them. They didn't used to have a mommy and daddy they came here and now they do, they are from America now." Then she ran off to play with some other kids.

My hope is that mom learned a lesson today...yes I know it's not that easy. But better yet is that I learned a lesson. After nearly 19 months of living in our community the boys have made a mark, established themselves by their actions towards others and have "defenders" of all ages and we aren't the only ones who will help them to fit into our community. They are things a parent may know in the backs of our minds but sometimes you have to be sitting pool side while someone else takes up the battle and helps you to remember to be grateful for your home town, warts and all.

The Art of M&M's

During some point in this past week-end house cleaning extravaganza, I found it necessary to encourage (ok bribe) Lucas and Eli to keep moving.

In a fit of cleaning fume induced dementia, I gave them snacks of M & M's and Diet Coke. We were out of everything else... no root beer, sprite, juice....milk was not going to cut it and they'd inhaled all the fruit the day before. I cracked under the pressure ok?

The first sign that I was entering the vortex of no return was when the boys are sitting at the table counting how many M&M's they each have....11 for Lucas, 12 for Eli...oops! Then I sat there and watched Lucas consume his treat as a normal, starving (because that's what I'd been hearing for 20 minutes) boy....he wolfed. I thought, again from the vortex, great we can get back to the chores.....and then I tuned into Eli.

Eli does nothing without complete and surprising results. Apparently M&M's fall into a category of their own. First he counted them, then he sorted them by color, then he subdivided them into the number of pieces for each color, then he equalized the colors by eating the offending extra pieces....did I mention this entire event was done while simultaneously needling Lucas that he indeed had one more M&M then him.

I give credit to Lucas, he didn't rise to the bait. He simply looked down his nose at Eli and said, "So what I ate my candy, you are still counting it." And so the vortex entered the next level.

Equality in Housework

Well. Yesterday was the first day home for myself on summer break. Yesterday was the first day of the boys' RE-education in the equality of housework. Boys need to know how to clean and not expect others (their mom, sisters or future wives) to do it for them.

In the hectic last few weeks, I've slacked off having them do their chores. I can't (or won't) make that mistake again.

It took over 2 hours this morning to "offer instructive assistance" to Lucas and Eli in the need to keep their room and the rest of the house clean and how that is achieved. Now neither one of these male life forms are incapable of reaching this goal. As a matter of fact when they first arrived home they were meticulous. With the addition of a billion toys and clothes and the same small room they can't afford to be messy....for my sanity and their possessions.

We were really good about limiting toys and things when they came home. It lasted 6 months at best. As they get bigger, their toys get bigger....unfortunately their room does not. In the mess of gutting their entire room and starting over (10 trash bags full) I expressed my displeasure in having found wrappers, trash, broken toys, dirty socks and things that I still haven't identified where upon Lucas informs me, "Mom. I very good at cleaning in Philippines." Ok. What happened? He explained, "I not have anything to pick up so my bed always clean." Well crud. I managed to dig myself out of that landmine and pulled up my mommy britches and still made them keep going....even if it was with a little more patience.

Now if you are thinking 2 hours is not bad for such a feat, please let me tell you the 2 hours I mentioned was just reminding them who was in charge and that yes the house was getting cleaned with the help of everyone. It actually took 8 hours of hard work from the entire family. Like I said I won't be making that mistake again.

Attachment

No this post isn't about how the boys are adjusting to family or community. It's not about how attached they are to their go cart or baseball. It's about their attachment to their clothing. All their clothing. From skin level out....mom's you know what I'm talking about.

Lucas and Eli have both been growing by leaps and bounds. Usually I can weed out the clothes that are too small around the waist with little fuss on their parts (they don't like to be squeezed) unfortunately this doesn't include those articles that are too short.

Eli especially has a great attachment to his jeans. I came home from work to find him in the rattiest, shortest pair of jeans you can visualize. Holes in both knees and the rear end and hitting him at mid calf. Luckily he didn't go away from home today. Mike wanted to take them to a movie and even he knew those jeans weren't going off the place. When he told Eli to change and put that pair of jeans in the trash you would have thought he said, "go shoot the dog."

Where did the jeans end up? After the guys left for a movie I extracted them from Eli's newest hiding place for all valuable things and they will not be making a reappearance. Before anyone feels too badly for him, I did tell him and then showed him that he has plenty of jeans (without the holes and shortened version). He was ok with it as long as he didn't have to actually put them in the trash can. Now. My next question lurking in the back of my mom brain....is he really that attached to his stuff or is he beginning to develop the kid mentality of it is easier to hide things than pick them up. Time will tell.

Road Trip Pictures

Last week-end we took an overnight road trip to Missouri. The boys went along, not because they were thrilled about being in a car for a total of 19 hours (dvd players in cars...how did we survive before?) They went with Mike and I so that their sisters could have a brother break.

Rachel and Sydney have been doing tag team babysitting for us as I finish up these last 3 weeks of school. The girls do the babysitting, I think Lucas and Eli tag team antagonize their sisters. Little do they realize Mom is off work starting Thursday and their shenanigans will cease....I wish!

Anyway here are a couple photos from the road.

Bread...the Dreaded Enemy

That is once again Eli's gastronomic proclamation. I thought we'd passed his phase of all things bread related. Apparently I was wrong.

He didn't like bread when he first arrived home but that gradually faded away in those first six months. Now, after 19 months, he has once again decided bread is the enemy. If he only knew the meatloaf we had last night contained bread crumbs I'm pretty sure he'd have gone hungry.

Eli deciding to be bread deficient is not the end of all things. It's just highly irregular for our Midwestern brains and my limited culinary skills. This farm girl raised on meat, potatoes and bread can't understand what there is to not like but Eli is very good at letting us all know that there is something very wrong with eating bread. Lucas just thinks it's more for him and he finds great delight in telling Eli when something contains bread in disguise. Now Eli practically dissects his meals to make sure there isn't any bread surprises.

That Is Not Correct!

One of the first couple questions we get about the boys is how their English is coming along. It always takes me a second to think...huh? Most of the time I don't hear their accents or have trouble understanding. We think they are doing remarkably well and a whole lot better than we'd be doing if the situations were reversed.

Lucas and Eli on the other hand have a very definite and loud opinion on one anothers' English. Each think they know English better than the other. Last night, Eli was correcting Lucas on a phrasing for a question he was trying to ask. It's those times of "superior brotherly knowledge" that their English is the clearest and most accurate. It is also one of the gauges we use to how well they really can speak and understand English. Eli was in rare form shouting, "That is not correct! You should say......." Unfortunately he attempted to correct his sisters' English....oops tactical error!

Blogging is Tough Work

I've been hearing from more than a few of you out there about why I don't blog like I used to. It's not from lack of material that's for sure. Some days this crew can give you enough ideas to fill an encyclopedia.

It's more to do with indecision. There are about a thousand different things I'd like to write about....you should read some of the posts I come up with in the car. Aren't we always brilliant when no one is around to be a witness. Unfortunately when I hit the door, my computer time is minimal if it exists at all. I will try to do better as this blog has been a wonderful link to family and friends...some of which I only meet on the internet.

I'm on summer break in a few days so that should help. Now if I can make my mind on which pictures to upload.

Bad Idea

A fact of parenting: siblings tease each other. A fact of parenting learned over time: siblings NEVER quit teasing each other.

All the kids are home right now. Alison is camping here due to flooding in western Iowa and roads and interstate closings. She lives about 25 miles from work but since the road between her place and work is closed for the foreseeable future she's bunking with us.

All the kids tease one another but when you add Alison into the mix the teasing is amped up....tremendously. One of the things they tease Sydney about was that Rachel and Alison told her (at the bus stop so I plead complete ignorance at the time) that we were returning her to the "Sydney store." Sydney totally believed the story and waited at the driveway for the store to pick her up.....yes, there was punishment for the two offenders when this was discovered.

The boys are familiar with this story because Sydney will have the last say in this story even 13 years later. Last night we went out for supper and the usual teasing was going on except with a twist.... Eli was getting the better of Alison. Those knowing Alison also know that to try to keep up with her verbally is a feat. She, in her somewhat bewildered state having not experienced this challenge fell back on an old standby. She threatened to have the Eli Store come for him.

Eli, never missing a beat, told her...."That's not a good idea. I don't think so." and then he continued to pester her to death. Alison had to concede defeat, Rachel was mysteriously silent and Sydney was laughing at finally witnessing retribution.....Lucas was smart he remained under the radar and was busy gaining knowledge of what irks which sibling for what I'm sure will be future ammunition.

"It's My Birthday!"

This was the battle cry from Eli for much of this past week-end. Yes, it was indeed his 10th birthday on Saturday but due to baseball games and graduations we had his party on Sunday. He totally thought that was about the coolest birthday ever.

I am hard pressed to remember any kid who enjoyed himself more and was so absolutely thrilled that people knew about his birthday and came to his party. Somewhere in the 2 day celebrations he did revise his battle cry to encompass, "It's MY birthday and it's everything I want!"

This involved gifts, playing, eating, bossing his siblings (which was more successful with some than others) and water sliding. Even though I found and heard myself pulling him off the edge of no return several times I was in awe of the absolute joy on his face. Happy Birthday Eli - hope you always have all you want!