This morning was day 1 of swim lessons for Lucas and Eli. It was day 1...they did fine but this isn't about what they learned as much as what I learned.
As many of you know, you take your kids to swim lessons, some moms stay and watch, some drop and run for 30 minutes of peace. Today I stuck around as we (Lucas and Eli) seem to be experiencing a high degree of not listening....didn't want the high school swim instructor frustrated on day 1...we'll wait til day 3.
Let me start by saying we live in a small, Midwestern town. From the beginning of our adoption journey our community has been supportive, helpful and understanding. The boys arenot the only internationally adopted kids in town. As a whole it's been a very positive place for the boys.
As can be found anywhere there are those pockets of less than accepting individuals. Most of the time this hasn't been a problem...actually the hardest part in dealing with people of "diminished social awareness" is determining if it's honest interest, ignorance or prejudice. Unfortunately, having to deal with the last on the first day of swim lessons (early in the a.m., with no coffee) is probably not the best time for me to "educate" someone...fortunately I didn't have to, the educator proved to be the 6 year old girl of the offender.
This person, whom I didn't recognize, was sitting behind me and had also seen me walk in with the boys...so I would think she'd been able to connect the dots...maybe she did and it was part of her "issue". About half way though lessons I hear her start questioning about who the boys are, "where did they come from" (not in a nice way), what race they were.....now understand I'm cleaning up the language of these questions....a lot.
I'd reached my decaffeinated level of patience and started to turn to introduce myself and my boys when I hear this little girl say, "Mom, that is Lucas and Eli. They are from here, they didn't use to be. They used to be from a far away place, I think it's called Flipins (she tried but couldn't quite get it out)...They are really nice, Lucas helped me find my room. Eli is nice to me. Lucas is bigger, Eli is the littler one. They are nice, you can say hi to them. They didn't used to have a mommy and daddy they came here and now they do, they are from America now." Then she ran off to play with some other kids.
My hope is that mom learned a lesson today...yes I know it's not that easy. But better yet is that I learned a lesson. After nearly 19 months of living in our community the boys have made a mark, established themselves by their actions towards others and have "defenders" of all ages and we aren't the only ones who will help them to fit into our community. They are things a parent may know in the backs of our minds but sometimes you have to be sitting pool side while someone else takes up the battle and helps you to remember to be grateful for your home town, warts and all.
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