Being a Grandma

Today's lesson from Eli...he could teach everyone a thing or two....when he came over to me as we were all cleaning up the supper dishes.  I figured I was in for some large epiphany when he cornered me in the kitchen and very seriously asked, "Mom.  When I have children....when I am a dad....will you be my kids grandma?"

Family relationships are a big deal to him.  Lucas knows the relationship tree (dad's brother is his uncle, aunts are his mom's sisters, cousins are aunt's & uncles' kids and so forth.  Lucas doesn't dwell on this area so much. Once he figures out the relationship he's good to go.

Eli....well he ponders on relationships a lot.  We take his need to define the pathways seriously.  He seems to have to identify everyones family membership then he has everyone in their family slot.  He has now moved to the point of realizing that the roles and labels we have within a family change as life goes on.  Yes we are mom and dad but we are also aunt and uncle, brother, sister and someday most likely grandparents.  Needless to say it warps his brain but also teaches him that relationships evolve and change and he is not always going to be able to label someone or something and have it never change.  Change is tough for him, he prefers status quo.

I thought that was the direction of this particular conversation.  It was for a part of it but as I told him,  "Yes I would be his childrens' grandma."  He started to turn away and then looked over his shoulder and said,  "Good.  I would like that."  I know his straight forwardness will not always be there, he will turn into a teenager who probably won't want his mom within 50 yards but for right now he's okay with telling me it's ok to be his kids' grandma....I'll be happy to wait awhile for that to happen but when it does I know that even if he doesn't happen to voice it,at one point in time the boy who didn't have a family to call his own for the first 8 years of his life has become aware of family and all the people in it.

Again, it's another one of those areas that a person takes for granted (I did) that family is family and for those of us raised in the same family from birth, we know early on who fills what slot in our family and what those roles are.  This is something Lucas and Eli are learning just like everything else they've learned and continue to learn over these last 3 years.  A lot of the time I can't help but marvel at all they have absorbed,then I will come up short and think have they learned as much as they've taught?