English Acquisition Includes Swear Words

I suppose the title is pretty self explanatory. We are so proud of how far the boys' English has come....unfortunately today (I am not so naive as to think this was the first time) one of our sons, who shall remain "anonymous", decided he should practice his English in the area of swearing....at school.....being heard.....and paying the consequences.

"Anonymous" did not waste any time with the petty ones, he mastered the really bad one right off the start. So this evening we talked about good words and bad words and words that we hear and don't understand but think they sound neat. We talked about not using a word unless we ask the meaning of the word first...preferably asking dad and mom.

I find it so hard sometimes to have these types of conversations with "anonymous" because he has the most unique way of talking out issues. I can't say it's a small adult conversation, more of a new perspective on an old issue that leaves me spinning to come up with the "correct, responsible parent response". He has his points.

Don't get me wrong.....swearing...not okay but in trying to explain which words are bad and which are okay (without pulling out every swear word I know) I simplistically said, "If you think saying a word would make someone feel bad, don't use it, it is probably a bad word. If you wonder wait until you come home and ask us." He sat quietly for a minute and then asked, "Ok, but you need to explain the rules better and not just bad words. Some kids take toys to school, some have bb guns (not at school), some have shooting video games. You need to explain why their parents say ok." And for those of you thinking it....no, because I said so does not work here.

You think about it for a minute, how would you explain the degree of "badness" to words? And when you think you have that figured out contemplate how you explain that another student "saluting" another student under the lunch table is not acceptable even when they aren't caught. "Anonymous" is pretty black and white and in your face. He doesn't really see the need to hide these types of things. Thus when saying a swear word, it really doesn't cross his mind that:

1. bad choice to say a swear word


2. bad choice to say a swear word in hearing range of adult supervisors (never a good choice)


3. just because a friend may whisper a word unnoticed that he should not repeat it let alone scream it.

I don't know. I don't have a cut and dry explanation for a "black and white" child. I do know that we had a pretty good talk about a lot of things for an hour after supper. Do I think he will swear again...yep. I'm not dumb. Did we both learn a little more about rules, explaining and the worry of a kid who just doesn't quite grasp what is acceptable and what's not? I sure hope so.