God Lights

Tis the season to decorate, bake and decorate some more.  Our neighbors are so good about decorating outside their homes for everyone to enjoy.  I'm still trying to get the guys to hang outside lights.  Inside is done, thank goodness.  

This morning as we once again headed out to school, Eli started talking about the light of God.  Ok.  Just really out of context for what we were doing.  So as I'm trying to follow his conversation with Lucas I hear,  "you know those people have God's light, we need to get the light of Jesus."  To which Lucas quickly agrees and wants to know if dad can find God's light.  WHAT?

Two miles later and a whole lot of drawing with their hands, they were talking about the neighbors manger scene that was still lit this morning thus the light of God.

I Heard It Crack

Those are the words that came out of Eli's mouth as we pulled in to the school parking lot.  What?  Heard what crack?  Obviously, it wasn't a bone as he was playing last night, good this morning and not screaming in pain.  What?

His explanation..."Oh you know last night when you were gone.  Dad gave me an apple and when I bit into it my tooth made a crack sound."  Great.  Does your tooth hurt?  "Nope, but it sure is wiggly.  Are all my teeth going to fall out like that picture of grandpa?  Will I talk like this?"  Which was followed by much inappropriate facial expressions of those without teeth.

Lucas, who could not be left out of the discussion, tells his little brother, "You sure have lost a lot of teeth since we got here.  Pretty soon you aren't going to have any.  You just keep getting rid of them and pretty soon God doesn't give you any more."

What can I say.  We pulled up to the school door and I let them out, came to work and drank a pot of coffee, I'm not leaving the house without caffeine again. 

The Eyes Have It

"Mom.  How come you and dad look at people's mouth when they talk?"  I wanted to say it's because your dad and I are old and getting deaf so we have to read lips....but I didn't, that was a little too close to true.

Lucas went on to say that he doesn't look at lips he looks at peoples' eyes.  He told us that he can "hear" a lot more by their eyes, even if he doesn't understand the words because they are talking too fast, their eyes will tell him.

Sadly, he also went on to say that he is quiet in school, watching eyes because that way he can figure out what is being said......people talk too fast.  I can only imagine how tired his brain is from deciphering a constant barrage of English.  Then to realize he's "reading" eyes to judge what is going on and people's intent.

We knew both he and Eli are watchers, it is a coping mechanism from the orphanage.  Safety, approval and knowledge were gained from watching, now watching has become a learning tool and probably a little security as they navigate growing up.

Wake Up Call

Have you ever been sleeping soundly and get the feeling someone is watching you?  This has been my wake up call for the past several mornings...at 5:30 a.m....followed by "I'm ready."  WHAT!

I don't get it.  Mike jokingly told him on Sunday that he needed to make sure he set his alarm so he'd have plenty of time to get ready for school.  Lucas asked him what time, he said 5:30 but did correct himself when he realized Luke took him seriously.  This is the part I don't understand.  This was a conversation between Mike and Lucas...why do I have to be woken up at 5:30?

It is nice that he has his bed made, room picked up and back pack ready.  Today he even remembered to take his drum kit to school for practice.  I wonder if I should be leaving him a list of chores I need done...pretty sure that would cure the early wake up.

Three Years to Spontaneity

Over the course of the three years since the boys came home, they have met and passed many milestones.  One of those surfaced in technicolor this holiday week-end.  All 5 kids were in the house for extended periods of time.  It allowed them to interact with one another in ways that brief visits on week-ends and an hour or two here and there don't touch.  Bicker, joke, argue, joke...repeat...you get the idea.

It was hectic here, Thanksgiving, family pictures, birthday and Christmas decorating all in the span of 4 days.  Lots of together time.  Lucas and Eli are getting better at giving themselves breaks when they get too overstimulated and need some down time.  Only one melt down this week-end, I count that successful.

Something that was new to the family dynamics this holiday was that both boys have developed this sense of appropriate spontaneity in humor, interactions, behavior and did I mention humor?  At one point Alison turned around after being verbally zinged by Eli with such a shocked expression it was hilarious.  She asked, "Where did this kid come from?"  "Where is he learning to talk like that?"  Not inappropriately by any means, just verbally holding his ground in a humorous conversation with the sister that can talk her way into and out of anything.

I hate to tell the girls...their brothers have had them and their dynamics under close study for the past 3 years and spontaneous humor is only the tip of the iceberg to things they have mastered.  Beware!

What a Terrific Birthday Gift From My Kids

The Holidays are Mixing Together

Many reasons to be thankful today.  Family being the biggest and best gift.  Lucas and Eli have picked out and are in charge of making their favorite food for today.  Lucas is in charge of homemade noodles.  Eli is making stuffing.  Yep stuffing, something that he wouldn't touch the first Thanksgiving home.

We were sitting at supper last night talking about all the items we had yet to make.  Lucas informs us that he had roast pig for Thanksgiving in the Philippines.  We had to explain that yes he may have had a roast pig but Thanksgiving is generally an American holiday.  They probably had this treat on a different holiday in the Philippines.

He shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't care if it was Thanksgiving or not, he sure was thankful to eat it.

I Know.....Right :)

Some mornings a mom just have to laughs.  With Eli, there are a lot of laughs.  I've never seen a kid who jumps out of bed with a smile on his face, ready to go and is 110% in to everything he does.

In an attempt to clean house and bake for the Thanksgiving holiday, we were trying to get the boys to pick up their rooms a little better than normal.  Mike went into Eli's room to help him do a little "fine tuning" to his clean up job.  Later, as I walked by the doorway I noticed a couple of things on the floor that needed to be put into the laundry.  I said, "Eli, you still have some dirty clothes on the floor."

He calls back from his position in front of cartoons on tv.  "I know, right? (total disgust in his voice)  Dad said he'd do it."  Nothing like starting the holidays with a laugh.

I Know What They Will Look Like in 60 Years

We had a brief glimpse of the future and what Lucas and Eli will look and act like 60 years from now.  Sitting together on the couch, one reading a book, the other drawing.  Talking to one another at supersonic speed and neither one listening to the other.

When I say they were speaking fast, I mean we could not understand a word that was uttered.  After about 10 minutes of this (my hearing and sanity were in danger) they stopped at the same time, looked at each other and said at the same time, "What?"  Practicing for their old age I guess.

When Girls Come Calling.....Really!

Sometimes important matters that should be addressed with all respect and seriousness are .........hilarious.   We want to be sure that the boys approach friends (boys and girls) with respect.  We also impress upon them sometimes daily that at 11 and 12 years old....they do NOT have girlfriends but friends that are girls.

That works right up until a girl calls the house and talks with one of the boys, he blushes an alarming color of red and mumbles into the phone.    After ending the call he walks away, shaking his head and mumbling, "Ah, man."  I find myself walking the other way, thinking...."Really!  I'm not ready for this."

Holiday Request From The School Lunch

I made my holiday request from the family for food they would like to eat for Thanksgiving dinner.  Our kids, if nothing else, are consistent with their favorites.  Alison - macaroni salad, Rachel - pie, Sydney - pistachio salad, Lucas - green bean casserole.....and then there is Eli (with full support of Lucas).  

Can you guess what he REALLY wants for dinner?  Sweet potatoes just like the school cooks make.  In his estimation they are the best things possible.  I'm not sure what that says for my cooking but like the dutiful (or  passivating) mom that I am, I made one of the oddest calls our school probably received today,  "Can you tell me if there is anything special the cooks do to their sweet potatoes?"  

After assuring the school that, "no, I don't have a complaint", "no my child didn't get sick from it", I had to explain that my son, "REALLY wanted those for Thanksgiving."  Now you may be wondering what the secret recipe is?   Open a can, sprinkle with brown sugar, warm.  I can handle it.

Who Giggles More?

I'm really starting to question who giggles more.....boys or girls?  Right now I'm thinking boys.  For the past month or so, one or the other or both of the boys have been sick or injured.  Apparently they've both recovered admirably.

For the last two nights they giggle at each other, the tv, the dog, their parents, their sisters, bodily functions, brushing their teeth (that is not a pretty sight).  Last night Eli was across the room working on his homework....smiling with the occasional giggle thrown in.  Did you catch that?  Homework (voluntarily), smiles and happy.  This from the kid who wouldn't go to school 3 years ago.  I feel like giggling!

What's He Speaking?

I've been reading a book called "The ELL Brain and How It Learns".  It's a fantastic book that parents and teachers of ELL kids should read.  It is such an eye opener to all that is going on in their brain and what all has to happen for these learners.  It is one of the few books that my husband has picked up read 3 pages and said, "Oh.  I wish I'd known this 3 years ago, it would explain so much."  And then he kept reading.

As a population at large a lot of people could benefit from reading it.  For those that have never had to learn a new language or those who mock or judge those learning, it could give them a new point of view.

Although last night in our house we had our own little intolerance issue in regards to people with accents and what is "wrong with him?"  Nope, not from any native English speaker but from one of our sons, as he was watching tv.  He heard someone speak English with a heavy Eastern European accent and was quite adamant about that person not speaking English correctly.  He was, just accented.  

I pointed out to our son that he too speaks with an accent.  He was so shocked.  He looked at his brother and said, "No I don't, I talk just like him."

Sydney's College Project...Her Brothers

Sydney is a college freshman this year.  Lots of assignments, with lots of subject matters.  This past week one of those subjects for a speech was international adoption and her brothers.  I think she found it challenging to fit her knowledge of the subject in the designated time frame.  No she wasn't short for material.           It's kind of neat that she learned so much about the process and what it took to bring Lucas and Eli home.

After class she was approached by several people who were either touched by adoption already, want to adopt in the future or were curious about some of her photos.  As Sydney was telling me this she said, "Mom, I think maybe some of them thought Rachel was adopted too, you know that whole blond thing." 

I don't think about the "looks" of our family.  Our kids are our kids, not adopted, not biological just our kids.       I think I actually used to get more comments on whether or not Rachel was adopted when she was little than I have with the boys.  I think I'll suggest to Sydney that her next subject should be on genetics and family traits.  

It's Not Rude, You're Ignorant

Probably not the nicest title for a blog post but after a week of contemplating, evaluating and trying to "let it go" this is still the title and subject that I can't drop.

Before traveling to the Philippines to bring Lucas and Eli home, I made a small book for our friends and family, introducing the boys, a little about their background, photos and small bits of info concerning institutions and behaviors that can be associated with children raised in that environment.  In a nutshell I tried to condense all the adoption and attachment books that I'd read and include things that our friends and family may be introduced to along with our two new family members.

A couple of people that received this booklet were nice enough to let me know they appreciated it, as it answered some questions that they were hesitant to ask but interested in so that they could also help in the transition and their interactions with Lucas and Eli.

Included in this cliff note introduction were customs and mannerisms that may differ from the boys to our norm.  Nothing wrong with differences but people do wonder.  These are not differences that we have ever tried to "change"....why should we, it is culturally and socially acceptable.  They are fully aware that we do some things differently, if they adapt to it that's fine, if they ask questions about the differences we answer.  They are also aware that the differences can make them stand out in peer situations.  This is usually when they may chose to adapt the situation.  The key to that statement....THEY CHOSE!

So.  For anyone who may run into our family, we are a family made up of 2 cultures, experiences, language differences and behaviors.  We try very hard to not let these differences be an excuse for bad behavior but unless you have immersed and understand Lucas and Eli's birth culture do not presume to correct something with them that you deem to be impolite or rude.  Here is your first clue when you have breached an appropriate boundary.....Lucas and Eli will look at you like your are an idiot.  They won't say anything to you  about your misstep as that is rude for a child to correct an adult, they will simply know you are ignorant of things outside your small world.   Your second clue of a monumental proportion?   Me.  As you finish your tirade at my child please look over your shoulder because I am there.  I will be there.  I will address your ignorance either with education, condemnation or avoidance.  I will not allow my children to feel or believe their culture is any less valuable than yours.  Do not attempt to impress your "manners" on them, they have parents who will be the guideline.

As in the beginning, ask questions, seek answers we are always happy to talk with anyone about most aspects of adoption and the boys.  We are not okay for others to devalue and make our boys feel less than anyone else.  Educate yourself....be rid of your ignorance your world will be so much brighter.

Define Freedom

Periodically Lucas and Eli go through phases where all extra talk is about the Philippines and their memories.  Lately, we've moved beyond the Philippines to details of meeting us in Manila, travel home and the first days in their new home.

Lucas has been talking about being scared, not being understood and not understanding what we were saying.  (Here we thought we were doing so well.)  About learning to ride a bike and learning all the rooms in the house.

One of the interesting thoughts he told us went like this, "I remember being soooo tired.  I went to sleep and woke up the next day and looked at everything.  You said I could go outside and play but I didn't know where to stop outside.  Someone always told me where to play, someone always told us when.  You said I could just go play.  That's what freedom is.  Freedom is when you can play outside when you want."

What's your definition of freedom.  To a newly adopted 9 year old from the Philippines, it's freedom to be a kid.

Cowboy Cars

Our town is small.  One stop light and no fast food.  I know.  Small.  Driving through town itself takes 90 seconds at most.  Traffic is slow so there is always time to look at everything and everyone....that may add 15 seconds to your travel time.

That is unless your child (Eli) screams, "Look at the cowboy car!" thus causing you to give yourself whiplash.  Then there is the mom mind confusion that ensues as I try to figure out what on earth is a cowboy car.  Do you know?

This is a common test whenever we are in the car.  Let's see how many kinds of cars mom does not know the name of.  Their favorites are Mustangs, Cameros and Corvettes.  Yes.  I do know these.  Not a cowboy car....have you figured it out yet?

It was the sheriff's car with the emblem on the door.  Just like a cowboy sheriff wears according to Eli.

Who'd You Vote For?

Voting is today.  If I should have forgotten after the million calls from campaign workers and the fliers overflowing the mailbox, I have 2 very verbal, opinionated sons, who are adamant about the voting process.  They are excited. 

I have to confess.  I just really want all the ads, calls and mail to stop.  Yes it's an important process.  Yes I will vote.  Yes I've decided.  I just want to not be told, reminded, cajoled, lied to and harassed by the process 24 hours a day.

The boys are all excited about who is voting for whom.  They even asked their principal who he voted for...sorry Mr. Makey.  They want to make sure that they can come with me to vote after school.  

Four years from now the boys will be 16 and 15 the next time elections are held.  I wonder if they will be as involved, excited and hopeful as they are today.  They have a very high appreciation of America, it's opportunities and they value each and every freedom they have.  I wonder if the rest of us truly place such high value on the million reasons we should vote, should appreciate America and should have an opinion.  Vote, have an opinion and follow through.

Speak Correctly

We don't have to remind the boys of this quite as much as we used to.  What we have taking place in the house is a reversal.  Forbid if one of the native English speakers forms a sentence wrong or uses a word incorrectly or flat out says the wrong word.

Eli, the speach profectionist, is on the case or the case of the errant speaker.  I used to try to explain that people sometimes use the wrong words and it is impolite to correct people especially those older than him.  Unfortunately, he is headed for a debate career.  His argument.....you correct me all the time, I learn English the right way, you should use it the right way, how else am I suppose to learn.  Ok.  Well.  Guess we all will be watching our words and if he happens to correct one of you out there, we ask that you understand how much he values getting the words right.

Mickey Mouse It Was Not

We live on a farm in Iowa, Midwest views, Midwest critters.  It's not uncommon at this time of year to have at least one (I delude myself to think there is only one) cold mouse make it's way inside with the intention of setting up house.

This time we apparently didn't detect our visitor quite as quickly and so when he met his demise he was extremely "healthy".  Gross, yuck and ick!

I came home from school this week to the very unwelcoming smell of something dead.  With the superior help of my two brave sons we emptied the  cupboards and went on a rodent hunt.  We found it.  Ewwww!

Eli (because he was the only remaining soul to take on the task - Luke and I provided support from the other side of the house) extracted the remains and disposed of the unwelcome guest.  

Reason 9547 that it's good to have brave men in the house.

Which Child Gets The Consequence

Adults mess up, kids mess up.  Sometimes both at the same time.  I arrived to pick the boys up at after-school care to hear a report that one of "your" boys said a naughty word.

Hmmmm. Ok.  My question, "which boy?"  I thought it was a normal question.  Then I looked at this wonderful lady's face, she has taken care of so many children in our community and is a real blessing in control and patience with so many in her care, but at that moment the look on her face was priceless....no clue.  Confirmed by her reply, "I don't know."  

I soooo wanted to laugh (inappropriate I know).  Luckily the offending child confessed and was accurately identified.

Going To Find The Kids

I've written previously about trips to and from school and about all the hilarious, mind blowing, sibling tattling and self outing that goes on within the 2 mile stretch between school and home.

With the sun rising later and later, I take the boys to school in the dark these days.  This morning as we are approaching the school driveway Eli spots a school bus heading out on it's route with all it's lights on (probably while he noticed it today and not previously).

Also to explain further, Lucas and Eli's favorite sport these days, is to impart to one another how much smarter they are than the other.  In Eli's most superior, know-it-all voice.  He says, "Oh look.  The school bus is going to go find all the kids."  The next 30 seconds of conversation was Lucas trying to get Eli to understand that a bus has a route and the kids are picked up at the same place all the time and that the bus doesn't "find" kids.

Eli's response....."so!"  If I'd only known one small word could stop the bickering so effectively.  We are talking dead silence all the way into the school building.  Not mad silence, just an acceptance to the end of the discussion.  So for all the parents out there...remember this powerful (and mature) word to end all arguments...."so".

Dealing With A Dictator and Military Law Motherhood

Some days with kids you have sunshine, cooperation and utter obedience....oh wait that was a dream.  Seriously, we don't generally have running battles of willfulness.  Occasionally...yes.  More so in the last two days...definitely.

I will blame it on weather, my late overtime this week, basketball practise in full swing, 2 days off of school and a sister moving home for a week between apartment moves.  It surely could not be my wonderful sons have decided to test their mother at every turn, statement or sneeze.

This morning apparently marked the end of the patient mother (stop laughing!) and thus began the dictatorship of mom.  You've probably experienced from your own parent or been that parent.  The one who says, "Ok this stops now."  No more arguing with the dictator, questioning every move or direction, no more debating if what the dictator says makes sense to the masses.  Free will and choices are not known until such time as these behaviors cease (or there is an overthrow of dictator at which time military law, also known as dad, will step in).

I'm really taking a hard look at the 3 males in this household and wondering how on earth they have survived this long. They should never be left to their own devices.  Anarchy seems to be their version of a happy home right up until they disagree with one another and then it's civil war.  I don't mind questions done in a respectful manner (not megaphone volume) I can even handle the brief argument with a sibling (as long as someone is making sense - yep there isn't a lot of sense in boy arguments, just saying).

The boys have tested the boundaries and found out they are patrolled by a mom who may let them stretch the perimeter but will have a say when enough is enough.  Today is enough. 

Just Checking

On Monday and Tuesday of this week I had to work late due to parent/teacher conferences.  I made it home in time to see the boys heading for bed.  This usually means there is a lot of information that they JUST HAVE TO SAY to me before they hit the sack.

Last night Lucas gets as close as possible and whispers..."Mom.  You and Dad are both coming right?"  Ok after a 13 hour day my mom abilities to fill in the missing information was not up to standards, so I said, "Going to where?"    With a heavy, put upon sigh he said, "You know you have to do the parent thingy."  Huh? Thingy? He then proceeds to enlighten me on the schedule for Eli and his conferences.  If you would come to our house you would see the conference schedules boldly displayed on the frig....we don't forget these easily.  

After assuring him that yes we were going. Then came the question of:  "Are you both going?"  Answering yes again and asking if there was something special he wanted us to cover with his teacher his response was, "No.  Just checking.  You know it's your job to talk to my teacher, that's why it's parent/teacher conferences.  Just checking to make sure you know."

Yes dear, after having children for the past 27 years and 22 of those having children in school, I do know my responsibilities for conferences.  And by the way it's not a job it's called parenting.  :)

Look How Far He's Come

For those who have followed the boys' story these past few years, you may have figured out that school, teachers and education in general was not a positive experience for Eli.  Within the first week of meeting Eli we quickly figured out his early educational reports drastically underestimated his abilities and determination.

With the extreme efforts of our school and teachers both Eli and Lucas continue to pass those early reports and are racing to meet up with their peer levels.  They aren't there yet but when we see one of them create and accomplish tasks like the one in the photo we are so very grateful for those teachers who have taken the time to educate themselves, learn new methods of teaching an ELL student and basically caring enough to go the extra mile.

When Eli came home he didn't know what a state was, what a river was, a country (other than the Philippines) or a mountain.  He couldn't have put a 20 piece puzzle together, forget that this one is 500 pieces.  If you can't tell how proud we are of him by this post, take a look at his smile and see how proud he is of himself.  He's smart, he's determined and most of all confident.  He can achieve, he can succeed, he can!

Mom! They're Still Talking!

Last night the boys (intermittently) watched the presidential debate.  They are really interested in the whole process and are quite concerned about happens if the president loses (they used to think he died) and are totally freaked out by Romney's looks.....whatever.

They had to go to bed before the debate ended and after getting ready for school this a.m. Eli turned on the t.v.  As I attempted to apply eyeliner, I hear him scream, "M...O...M..!"  well the eyeliner was now on my forehead...I went to the living room expecting blood at the least....Nope just Eli screaming at the t.v.  "Mom!  They're Still Talking!  They talked all night and are still argueing, they must be really mad!"

So at 6:30 we had a social studies lesson in politics, debate vs. fight and tv replays also discussed why it is not a good thing to scream at your mother first thing in the morning.

Headache Free Day At Last!

Today Lucas had his first day of school without a headache since his concussion.  Granted it was a 1/2 day but still it was a success and now he can go back full time.  Now, for the big test....basketball practice starts this week.....would it embarrass my child if I made him wear hockey gear onto the court?

Greet, Meet and Pray

On Saturday, Mike was called into work which meant Lucas and Eli were forced to endure grocery shopping with a surprise "your clothes are 2 inches too short" shopping trip with me.  Clothes were bought in record time and we may have enough groceries for the week.....unless they decide to continue the growth spurt they are both participating in, then food will only last until Tuesday.

As a side treat to cooperation we met Alison and her boyfriend Mark for lunch.  This is the first time Mark and the boys have met.  I wasn't sure how this would go, sometimes when meeting new people some strange alien possesses their bodies and it can be disaster.  They did great.  You can tell Mark has siblings and just rolled with the punches.  Yes.  There were a few punches....not literally....as in Lucas deciding to interrogate the poor guy.  Mark took it in stride.  Eli chose the "I will study you but not actually speak directly to you"  approach.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Mark and Alison were already seated so the boys only saw Mark from that angle until we got up to leave.  Alison is 5 foot even, the boys greatest thrill lately is that they look both her and Sydney in the eye.  Well they have a way to go with Mark.  You should have seen their faces when he stood......all 6 foot 5 inches.

As we were leaving the restaurant, Lucas is begging to be as tall as Mark.   I mean literally begging.  At one point and just to get him into the car and to stop idolizing (and I'm sure embarrassing) Mark, he asked, "Mom!  How'd he get so tall?"  I went with the standard, "that's how God made him".  Mistake.  For the remainder of our shopping and in the car, I would hear, "God.  Please.  I want to be tall like Mark!"  "God.  Please make me tall, you made Mark tall, me too!"  "God!  You can do it!"  I'm sure God enjoyed the pep talk and support but this may be one of those times when his answer is no, unless this growth spurt doesn't slow down.

85 Year Old Bones

One of the things we knew when we first brought the boys home was that their early life nutrition was not good.  Their joints are not good, they are severely double jointed, in places that I didn't even know there were joints and I have never seen toes look like theirs.

Their appearance reminds me of my grandparents arthritic joints at 85 years of age.  They look like they hurt.  They both say they don't (right now).  I can remember popping my knuckles when I was younger and thinking how could this possibly hurt later.....well to pop a knuckle now just about makes me cry.....I can't imagine their hands and feet and knees when they are 85.  I can hope that advances in medicine will give them some relief when they need it.  I can also hope that they stop torturing me by walking up to me to bend their fingers backwards, sideways and popping miscellaneous body pieces.....no meds for that....just a mom growl.

School Can Make a Body Tired

Today Lucas was able to return for a half day of school.  He made it through without a headache but hit the couch when he got home.  Wouldn't you know the first day back would include drum lessons.  Ouch on a non-concussed brain.   Monday and Tuesday we try full days with no recess or p.e. then if all goes well he can be turned loose.

I think I will be rewording that to him though.....play is fine, running your head into anything is prohibited until I'm too senile to know.

Well It's Not a Broken Bone

I just always thought it would be a broken arm or leg.  The way the boys go at everything 110%, that's what I thought.  It's not.  It's a concussion.  Lucas fell and hit his head while out helping with harvest.   The doctor said he will be okay but for the next 2 days, no activity, no school and then on Friday we are to try a 1/2 day of school if he is headache and dizzy free.

When we took him into the doctor I really thought his nose was broken but no that seems to be okay but a lovely shade of purple and green.  He failed the exam when the doc had to shut off the lights because of his photosensitivity and then he couldn't walk a straight line.  Those results led to more tests and then her turning to us and saying he has a concussion.  

He thought he'd get medicine and go about his usual day...when she started explaining restrictions his brain interpreted her to say he can never play sports or go to school or play video games or watch tv.....ever.  The last two sent him over the edge.  It took a whole lot of fast talking to curb the panic attack he had.

He's resting today with sunglasses on in the house even though I've made it as dim as possible.   Explaining a concussion to him is not easy, I'm quite sure he thinks his brain is going to ooze out.  It probably feels like it.  

As the doctor is winding up the visit, she paused to read the front of his shirt which until that moment I did not realize he'd worn.  Take a look at the saying......yep that's us.....observant all the way.



Boys Are Hard On A Mom's Ego

Tough skin is a necessity some days.  I need to start having at least a couple of cups of coffee before the 2 minute ride from our house to dropping the boys off at school.  It is amazing how many conversations/confessions can occur in a 2 minute span.

Most days the revelations are directed at their brother but a mom can learn a lot by listening.  Not so today.  Today Lucas looks at me and says, "What smells?"  Huh?  I'm sniffing and thinking about all the possibilities that two boys could bring into the answer.  Then he continues,  "Oh it's you."  Ouch!  What!  He very adamantly does not like my new perfume....and no I only put a little on and did not bathe in it.  Usually he's the son to tell me that I look nice or whatever...not today....today it was Mom you smell....then I had to drop them at school and drive to work wondering if the perfume,that I really like, is that bad.  My coworkers assure me it is just fine, so Filipino boy with the amazing smeller will just have to tough it out and I will have to drive to school with the windows down until I grow a thicker skin.

Into the West

Trying to explain America and it's history to someone who has no frame of reference is hard.  It's hard for us as parents, hard for the teachers and hard for the boys.

Starting out 3 years ago we started from ground zero.  We had to describe, explain and show rivers, creeks, states, cities, towns, countries, continents, oceans, islands.  We had to explain various ethnic and cultural groups (still working on that big time).  So much of what Mike and I grew up taking for granted or just absorbing as kids taught us about America and the world before we ever got to a formal education.

Lucas and Eli had to sort of start in the middle and learn from both directions.  Their peers knew about general geographic features, western and colonial history, American holidays, various wars and famous Americans.  I challenge you to stop and think.....what things did you know concerning American history before you entered school?  Did you watch westerns, did you know some basics about presidents, did you know about Indians, cowboys, slavery, the Civil War?

We worked for the last 3 years introducing pieces but it's hard to cram that much information into a coherent easily explainable (let me tell you I can't explain the reasoning behind a lot of history and the most popular question from Lucas and Eli is why?)

Over the past several weeks we started recording and watching an old tv mini series, "Into the West".  It covers so much history, in two hour increments it's amazing.  Some of it's a little tough to watch, some of it causes the boys to really question a lot of things and presses Mike and I to further the discussion.  I wish we'd found the series a little sooner.  It could have introduced them to so much that they've questioned. 

Their questions can make us squirm, you just can't explain certain policies, conflicts, prejudices and government policies.
I can say that in some respects their views of America have been changed.  A lot of information has been brought to light and opened up discussions with them that we may not have touched on for years.  We were struggling to explain prejudices to them, they've run into several situations that have caused us to really press their awareness of people's prejudices and possible actions.

They are visual learners for sure and if you are traveling a similar path here in the U.S. you may look into the movie.  You may want to watch ahead so you are prepared for possible questions and scenes.  Like I said it's made us think and made them just a little more American and a little wiser to choices of a nation.

When Mom Is Away....

the male members of the family (dad included) decide they will go to the neighbors and partake in he man activities as noted in the picture below.  I'm assured that all had great fun, no one was injured and they had a bar-b-que afterwards.  Can you guess what the boys want for Christmas....yep it is soooo not happening.

You Want Them To Learn But.....

There are times, usually at the most embarrassing of times, that you wish they hadn't learned to say or spell a particular word in English.  With knowledge comes power, words especially the knotty ones, can be amazingly hilarious to Lucas and Eli. 

Early on as they were learning English sometimes words that weren't knotty sounded that way because all the sounds weren't formed.  Now they have most sounds so they had to find a "new" way to "get away" with the knotty ones.  What better way than spelling them.  Still knotty, still get in trouble but for whatever 11 and 12 year old boys' minds believe they are absolutely the most hilarious things in the universe and totally worth getting in trouble.

Driving down the highway today Lucas turns to me and says (with a warning grin) "Mom, I'm thinking of a word (giggle, giggle) that starts with b and has two tt's and only one other letter, what is it."  I, being well aware and not senile enough to be bated said, "Lucas" he continued to giggle and said, "Come on mom!  The missing letter is u.  Do you know what the word is?"  Yes son I do.  Then screaming full voice he tells me, "BUTT!!!!"  Why is that funny to a kid?  He laughed at himself for 2 minutes at the end of which I said, "Wow!  Mrs. Killpack would be proud.  Do you think we should ask if she'd add it to your spelling list next week?"  Oh my did I hit the panic button, nothing right now is more important and apparently powerful for him, than not being embarrassed in front of his teacher.  Now I'm hoping he doesn't decide that would be a good idea and surprise the teacher with his new word.

Answering the Questions

If you look at the post time at the bottom you will see it's the middle of the night.  Yes insomnia...the kind your kid gives you.  It never fails to amaze me how Lucas can systematically blow you away with a remark or question out of the blue.  This passed week has held many instances.

Last night 20 minutes until bedtime we were winding up watching a tv show.  A commercial was on and it showed a highway in China.  He turned to me and said, "I used to live close to China."  He's fascinated by all things and people Chinese.  He has been for as long as we've known him.  He continued, " Do you want to go see China?"  I said yes that is somewhere that I'd like to visit.  Lucas,  "Why didn't we go see China when you came to get me in the Philippines it was right there?  Cause it was expensive?"  I said yes it would have been more money and really wasn't the time as we had to come directly back to the United States.  "why?" was the next question.

I said (not really thinking this out) that we had to come directly back because we needed to finalize the adoption and to do that we had to come home....hmmmm thinking, thinking and then he sat up straight and said,  "But we're adopted that's all done right?"  I said yes, no more paperwork.  Then he sat back and said,  "whew I don't ever have to leave."  Nope buddy you don't have to leave....that why it's 2:30  in the morning and mom is wondering what else you are thinking about.

Filipino Chicken Recipe

Having the usual problems with Blogger.  Sorry for those who were mid recipe and it disappeared.  I used coconut for our recipe and it was fantastic.  Hope you enjoy and that this post publishes right this time.

8 chicken thighs (about 2 pounds)
1 T. cooking oil and olive oil
1/3 c. water
1/4 cup white vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 bay leaves
1 t. bottled minced garlic or 2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 t. pepper
2 T. sliced fresh red chili pepper or 1/4 c. toasted shredded
         coconut (optional)

1.  Remove skin from chicken. In a 10 inch skillet brown chicken thighs on all sides in hot oil. Drain off fat.
2.  Add water, vinegar, soy sauce, bay leaves, garlic and pepper to skillet; stir gently.  Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 30-35 minutes or until chicken is tender and no longer pink. Transfer chicken to a platter; keep warm.
3.  Bring liquid in skillet to boiling; boil, uncovered for 3-5 minutes or until reduced to about 1/2 cup. Skill off fat. Remove and discard bay leaves. Drizzle juices over chicken. Sprinkle with chili pepper or coconut if desired.  Makes 4 servings.

Not All Presidents Are On Money

and neither are they all dead.  Eli watching tv and unfortunately watching all the billion political ads suddenly sits up and says, "It's just so sad."  Of course I'm thinking, yes it's sad we are subjected to nasty politics and phone calls and billboards.....(you get the idea of where my brain went).  That is not where his brain was.

I asked him what he meant and his response was pretty eye opening as to what he's been working on in school and what ground still needs to be covered.  He said, "It is so sad that the president will die."  What?  Yep he thinks that President Obama is dieing and that's why there is an election.  That was a good 30 minutes of conversation that probably didn't do our governmental system justice and I'm also confident that I've confused the child beyond repair.  At least he now understands that presidents don't necessarily die at the end of their term or during elections.

Only The Sister Knows For Sure

Lucas and Eli went to a birthday party this past week-end.  They had a great time but as most "great" things and boys it involved full contact sports.  Lucas came home a little banged up and complaining that his wrist hurt.  I looked it over and did the ice pack and "you'll be ok" route of distraction.  He really was alright and had a full range of motion and no swelling....didn't stop him from playing video games (I'm just saying).

All the kids were home for supper on Sunday and he complained again.  I said, "Ok let me see it."  His reply?  "No.  Alison will look at it.  She knows.  She's the doctor."  Ummm no buddy she's a nurse and I think you will be fine.  I've just been relegated to band aids and aspirin.  Since Alison lives an hour away from us he may want to rethink this plan.

Who Said Girls Argue More?

Adjustment 978 to having boys in the house as opposed to girls.  Girls get a bad wrap for being the more vocal of our species.  Whoever made that generalization needs to meet the two young males in our household.  They are one continuous, loud, irrational argument in progress 24/7.

It doesn't matter what the subject.  They don't even have to be in the same room.  They just scream the argument from room to room.  Not fighting just taking two opposing sides to everything.  Most of the time they don't even think about what it is they really believe about the subject, it's just necessary to be on the opposite side as their brother.

They may try to argue with a sister, not as much as they used to (that didn't work out well for either of their male egos).  The thing that truly amazes me?  They never finish an argument.  Nothing is resolved.  The end does not matter.  It's simply that act or art, depending on your view point, of the argument itself.  I think the girls are amazed that there are now members of their family who can effectively talk more than them.  Their names?  Lucas and Eli

Chicken of the Philippines

Friday night I thought I would try out a new recipe I had found on line for Filipino Chicken.  I have tried over the past 3 years to cook Filipino recipes but have only hit on a few that the boys recognize.  We quickly learned that even though these particular foods were authentic to the Philippines the boys did not have the opportunity to enjoy them.  They simply had the barest of staples.

Except for chicken.  Chicken is the absolute best no matter what according to Lucas and Eli.  It's really hard to mess it up in their book.  This particular recipe called for soy sauce (another of their loves) bay leaves, vinegar and toasted coconut.  Fairly simple and all ingredients my Midwestern cooking skills could handle.  It was a success, at least once they tasted it.  Apparently it did not look quite the way they thought it should.  We had to refer back to the picture several times before they tried it (ok we've had a few experiments that went a little off but come on it smelled wonderful!).

Final verdict?  There are 2 pieces left only because I made them keep some for their sisters to try.  It had to be one of the quietest meals to date as they were shoveling it in their mouths.  Who knew?

Hey! I Know That!

We took Lucas to school for a band instrument demonstration.  Our school starts the students that are interested in band in fifth grade.  What else would any fifth grade boy want to play but the drums.  After convincing his dad that drums were a musical instrument, he got his practice kit.

The kit includes a drum pad and bells both.  They teach all the kids to read music not just rythym (much to Lucas' dismay during the presentation).  We took the kit home and he systematically took everything out of the case and much to his astonishment he pulled the bells from the bottom of the case.

He must have gotten distracted during the presentation because he had no idea they were in there.  If I'd only known to have the camera ready.  He saw those bells and his face absolutely lit up.  He said,  "Hey!  I know these!  I did this before!"  and then he proceeded to start playing us songs and telling us each of the note names as well as telling us that he used to play it for "those one people" from the orphanage.  He doesn't know the names of the songs but it was so cool to see and hear something that he remembers that he didn't even know he knew until he saw that bell set.  So there he was playing away in the livingroom while yelling at Eli to remember this song and that song.  So totally worth the evening of screeching horns and banging drums at the demonstration.  Today memories were a good thing.

Reading, I Love It!

When Eli came home from the Philippines he had never experienced a consistent level of schooling.  It was definitely not the place he enjoyed.  In the beginning we wondered if he'd even remain in the building.  Much to our relief and the schools he stayed and he is thriving.  This kid is far from the "below average" student that was in his paperwork.  

Recently he has discovered the world of reading.  Of course this would have come about after his teacher and I had a discussion about his reading goals, the reading program our school uses for all students and my overwhelming  lack of support for this program.  Basically, I told his teacher that my goal for him was to come out of elementary loving to read and comprehending it.  This did not happen with any of our 3 daughters, mainly I believe, because of this reading program.  The teacher was very accepting (educators have opinions that they can't always express) of my views and we came up with an alternate method.

Four days later and two books read, he has to have books pried out of his hands and is constantly walking around saying, "reading, I love it!"  He's not necessarily saying it to us or anyone in particular more to himself because I think he is just as awed as we are.   He can't get enough of it.  Now we hear about the Titanic, comic books, islands and so many other things that I would think his brain would be tired....mine is but it is such a terrific tired who cares the boy loves reading!

Oh Man!

Our days are busy.  They are packed with field trips, class projects, spelling tests, reading (a new love of Eli's....more on that later) and work.  We don't stop until it's time to go to bed.  Yes I have more grey hair than I did 3 years ago...who doesn't.  

But when I hear the following words come out of Eli's mouth before bedtime...I could have a head of grey hair and it will be ok.  Mike was out of town last night for a class.  He's not gone overnight very often.  

I had the boys in bed for the night with the lights out.  Sitting in the living room, I hear Eli say to himself, "Oh Man!  I miss Dad."  Oh. My. Heart.   I know it has been nearly 3 years since we brought the boys home but you can not imagine what it has taken to get to this point with both the boys.  All I can say is "Oh Man!  Am I glad they are here!"

We Almost Missed It

You know those lazy, rainy mornings where you just lie in bed and listen to it rain?  Or you lie in bed and go back to sleep?  I was so enjoying the morning - until I realized it wasn' t Saturday.  It was Thursday.  You know.... work, school, life.  Oops!

I jumped out of bed and hit the hallway at a run.  Eli stepped out of his bedroom door and grabbed me around the waist.  "Good Morning!  I think we forgot to get up."  Yep buddy we sure did.  He continued with, "I don't think we should do that again we almost missed the day!"  You'd think with 3 alarm clocks and 4 people that one of us could ensure we don't miss the day....there is just some mornings that encourage us to "miss the day."

Do You Know What Today Is?

That is the opening question from the boys when I got home from school.  I knew they were in a serious frame of mind by the looks on their faces.

I said, "Well yes I do, do you know about something that happened today?"  Eli said, "It was very sad.  They shouldn't have done that."  Lucas said, "We weren't here, I was a baby in the Philippines but "they" shouldn't have killed all those people."

They both went on to talk about the specifics of 9/11.  I was amazed how much they were able to absorb and process from the conversations at school.  I probably wouldn't have been able to give them the essentials and then let them form an opinion.  Needless to say, "they" shouldn't have done that and even though our children may not have been more than infants they can appreciate the bravery, sacrifice and sheer wrongness of such senseless brutality.

Do You Want To Learn It? Well You Should.

Thus is the conversation of Eli speaking to Lucas.  From the sound effects behind me, I know exactly what it is that Eli has deemed necessary for Lucas and his survival of the next few minutes.

Guess what it is?  Well here is some more comments...Lucas, "Wow who teached you that?"  Eli, "I just know." (Wrong I had just spent 30 minutes teaching him)  Eli, "You have to hold your tongue like this."  (Ok my family has a trait of sticking out our tongues when we are in extreme concentration - guess it's rubbed off).   Lucas,  "That sounds like a fart!"  Eli, "Dude!  Come on this is SWEET!"

Guess what it is yet?  Shuffling cards and learning to bridge them.  Pretty sure I've won cool mother points tonight!

No! That Is NOT a Pet

and it never will be as long as I'm the mom.  What is this wonderful, recently found, lovingly put into a carrier (ice cream container) "I had one in the Philippines" pet?    A field mouse.

YUCK!  Two days of Eli begging to keep his friend and many sneak attempts to get it into his bedroom, I think it has remained outside....it better have or he will need to figure out how to stuff his mattress into the dog house....not happening no matter how many Filippino mice he's had previously.

A Moment to Stop Your Heart

You know those moments, as a parent, when you see your child in a situation that is nerve wracking (piano contest - my least favorite event as the girls will tell you) or the moment you hear the noise of the lawn mower hitting something and stopping....you run around the house to find your youngest son on the ground beside the mower with his arm wedged under it?

I think my heart exploded.  Poor kid was just trying to clean something out from under the shut off, no blade spinning mower.  None of those things registered to my mom brain.  Kid on ground, under mower and me screaming my head off.  Way to go mom!  He was perfectly in control of the situation, he's been mowing for over a year, he knows safety precautions....again not registering with mom brain.  He was also uninjured until I hollered and then he raised up and cut his finger.  Is winter here yet?  I think snow shoveling is safer for both of us!

Little Drummer Boy

He's not so little any more but a drummer in the making for sure.  Lucas and his classmates are starting into band.  Probably 1/2 of who join will not make it through high school graduation as band members but for right now he is so proud to have this gift from a close friend.  Mike brought home new drum sticks last night and he gave us a little sample of things to come.  No lessons yet...just ear plugs.