Monday, September 9, 2013

Who Trained the Experts?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of "experts" in any field?  I've always wondered what exactly entitles someone to be an expert.  A definition of expert is: A person with a high degree of skill in or knowledge of a certain subject.

I don't know about you but I would not want to be thought of as an expert in any field.  Having knowledge or way.

We've run into quite a few experts lately in regard to Lucas and Eli and either their history, education or just someone who feels obligated to tell us their views on "how we should be doing things."  My philosophy is..."if you haven't lived or experienced it first hand...don't comment under the guise of an expert, unless asked."

I think one of the areas throughout our adoption that frustrated me to no end was to be directed to read or listen to "experts" who in the long haul had never experienced adoption personally or some never having been exposed to adoption in any format other than what they'd read themselves.  Not all of our reading was in vane.  Those authors and experts that we consulted, who had first hand knowledge have been invaluable.

It's one of the reasons that adoption blogs and  parents are such a valued resource to us.  We have learned more from these people in the trenches than we have from the experts.

The reason for my little anti-expert tirade?  Early on we had one of these people make a remark that proved to be totally untrue but has stuck with us til this day.  Have you heard the saying, "you can't unhear something?"  She had no basis only bias.  Recently we were subjected to this slanted view point from another so called expert...again when we explained that their viewpoint was not the case in Lucas and Eli's experiences...the expert retreated and chose to not have the "unsupportive example used in the format."  

If an expert cannot either defend their area of expertise or open themselves up to the possibility of more than one conclusion for a given area, I believe them to not be an "expert" but a person who know longer looks for answers and is one who has closed off to possibilities...don't close off my kids' makes me very irritated and the expert appear ignorant as we prove them wrong time and again.

And that my blog friends is my non expert opinion about the world of experts.

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