Friday, March 15, 2013

Finger of Difference... Bullying

Bullying.  You've heard the word and know the concept, I'm sure.  It has become the "It" topic in today's society, especially schools.  I'm so disgusted when society latches onto a cause and drills it into every one's collective brains to the point that people become anesthetized to the issue and contributes to peoples' belief that the problem is so huge that no one single person can make a difference.

I'm struggling with this right now as I would really (and very inappropriately and illegally) like to ring the necks of some of my children's classmates.   You know that each child is different.  They each handle conflict differently, some deal with it head on and in the face of the perpetrators (Eli) and then others are more timid and every comment and action goes straight to the heart (Lucas).

This last year Lucas has a particularly nasty set of girls and a couple boys at school that have realized the vulnerability and latched onto making his life cruddy off and on.  This teasing and bullying and ridicule have not reared every day until recently not every week.  

Kids are mean.  They (including my own) have the ability to be nasty little creatures when the mood strikes.  Don't criticize the statement think back to when you were little....yep I bet you can name at least 3 kids who were horrible to you or maybe you realize you were that mean little kid.

Up until this last incident we've been, hopefully, giving him the tools to deal with bullying.  Now the bullying has turned in to racial remarks.  Bullying is bullying but when the tone turns racial that is a whole new ballgame and one we are a little at a loss on how to combat.  Yes teachers and school are aware and doing everything they can but really?

Lucas has lived a life that these little "monsters" could not even fathom nor survive.  They are fortunate to have led such a sheltered life that they have no concept of hardship and perseverance.   If they could experience 24 hours in the life that our kids walked, they would come out the other side a different and better person.  

When it comes to the racial side of this whole thing, I am amazed that some of the worst is coming from kids that are Asian themselves and adopted.  I suppose that if they point the finger of difference away from themselves and towards someone else that gets the heat off of them.

Living in a small community that overall has been extremely supportive these past 3 1/2 years, through our adoption process to bringing the boys home to their adjustment into their new lives, it is really hard for me to let this type of harassment rear it's ugly head.  Harassment and bullying are ugly anywhere.  The people whether they are adult or young, do not deserve to have the kind of power that overshadows the good people in life.

Where do we go from here?  We go to school.  We draw the line.  We become "unpopular"  We stand with our kids to meet the harassment where it originates.  We walk the road that leads to our kids futures, if not free of harassment, the road that has the guardrails and guide posts on how to deal with the less then enlightened people that cross the road.








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