Tears For The Philippines

Last night brought something home to Mike and I that we "know, knew and became lax about".....the boys have a lot of unresolved feelings about their lives in the Philippines.  Lucas has a lot of memories that are good for and about his life there, Eli does not. 

This difference in their experiences was probably the first and only divisive thing they brought with them to their new lives....don't get me wrong, since coming home and learning that they can have separate opinions and experiences they disagree a lot....that's good.

We've watched several movies and tv shows that were set in or talked about the Philippines.  Some showing Manila and others the islands of the Philippines in general.  It always brings about conversation about them living there and memories.  Last night, we watched a movie where it was primarily set in Manila.  The boys lived in foster care there for 4 1/2 months while waiting out the final paperwork process for us to bring them home.  That transition time between orphanage, foster care and our home was valuable.  The two strongest memories the boys have talked about are the school they went to in Manila and their "Lola" there.

While watching this particular action movie usually we would hear a lot of sound effects and general mayhem out of Eli.  Suddenly it was too quiet, I looked over and he had tears.  Eli is not a kid to show emotion easily unless it's to be a total goof ball.  I asked if he was ok and I got the guy response of "ya, ya" and a wave off. 

After the movie he came into the kitchen and I asked what it was about the movie that bothered him.  He said he missed the Philippines sometimes.  Then he went on to clarify "not the busy part, the pretty part.  The Philippines were really pretty sometimes."

This got me to thinking about the conversations we've had and do have with Eli about the Philippines.  I would say it's safe to say that 80% of them are about the Philippines itself, not people but the actual land.  When he wasn't allowed or couldn't attach to the people who were caring for him he seems to have directed that need for connection to the land.

I wish his birth family could know this about him as they were farmers and fishermen.  People who also could probably understand that connection to the land.