This past holiday week-end was slow for us. We didn't have the usual week-end ballgames, sleep overs or huge meals. We simply relaxed. With relaxation came a lot of conversations. One in particular, with Lucas, really made me rethink how fast time is going by and how the ground we have covered still needs to be talked about.
Lucas and Eli were talking with us at supper about the Philippines and their friends. These conversations have gradually tapered off and only pop up when a memory is triggered. I suppose it's a little bit like how they've acquired English and lost a lot of their native dialect. The specialist said as their brains become filled with more and more English and current memories they would, not necessarily take the place of, but push back and file those earlier experiences and knowledge in their "lower file drawer" and those files would be accessed less and less. It's definitely true for Luke and Eli.
For some reason Lucas began talking about the first and second day they were home. I can not believe how vivid that memory is for both of them. Once they started talking I could remember the things they did but to hear about how they felt those first days when they knew 3 words of English and couldn't tell us what they needed or how they were feeling, how scared they were to go anywhere because they didn't understand if they would be back, they were scared to go in the car because they didn't know how long we were going to be away from home. They even talked about how they thought our dog was a werewolf dog because she was so big. Scared, scared, scared was the overwhelming theme.
This isn't a surprise to us. I'd have been terrified in their shoes. At the time we all tried so hard to communicate and ease their fears but fell short. To have them to be able to verbally express to us those feelings, even after 2 1/2 years really is amazing. Because even though it took 2 1/2 years they did get to express those initial feelings and we did eventually get to have our questions of those first few days, weeks and months answered. We wondered at the time if we would ever really know but now we do, now we tackle the rest of the "firsts".
Hello. I've read your blog. Finished it within a day (whole day). :) I'm from the Philippines and I love reading blogs about adoptions especially ones from here. I really love the fact that Lucas remembers some things from here.
ReplyDeleteIf I remember correctly, are they from Zamboanga city? If they are, they really are fortunate to have a family now that protects them. Right now, I think there are still shoot outs in Zamboanga between the MNLF rebels and the AFP. The MNLF also got civilians as their hostages (and use them as shield) and some were killed because of the gun shots. And several houses and schools were damaged.
And right now, numerous cities here are now experiencing non-stop rain due to Habagat (south-west monsoon) resulting to flash floods and landslides resulting to numerous fatalities especially of young kids.
So, I really really thank you for saving two lives from here. God Bless.