Our house is all about change, our lives are in perpetual motion and more changes are on the way. Lucas and Eli are holding on by their fingernails and nothing we do seems to slow things down for them.
This year the boys are on separate baseball teams which equates to double the practices, double the games. We are getting ready for Sydney's graduation in less than 2 weeks equates to painting, cleaning, out side spruce up and did I mention MORE cleaning? Sydney is visiting the college she is attending in the fall, the family has visited which drove the idea home to everyone that Sydney is leaving the nest.
Change is not a welcome visitor with a lot of people but for Lucas and Eli it boils down to loss. They are losing the normal that has taken root in the last 2 1/2 years. They are losing the every day contact with the sister that has been here nearly every day since they came home. They are losing the consistency of each other on their baseball teams.
For us it's a little like watching a rubber band stretch and you wonder if it will hold or when it will break. I also know that these stretches in their abilities to cope are how they continue to grow. If I take a really good look at the squabbles, the out and out brother fights, the back talk and the general orneriness...they are doing better than 2 1/2 years ago...not even in the same ball park. We just have to keep reminding ourselves and others that even though they have been home a few years there are still issues, new and old, that occur, there are things that will most likely always cause them to stumble and trip but they don't actually fall down or apart as often but it does happen, sometimes with fireworks and atomic explosions and the rest of us just need to deal....even after all this time, They both make the effort each and every day to learn coping skills and a different way of handling their emotions and probably examine their motivations and feelings more than most of us...even after all this time they continue to educate us.
Oh, Lori...HUGS to you and those precious boys. Boy, do I know first hand what it's like for a younger adopted sibling to have to deal with the very real, deep loss of his/her sibling leaving for college. The grief has been like nothing I could have imagined. And it happens each time Becky goes back to school after breaks, etc. All I can suggest is that you provide the boys with as many outlets as possible to keep in contact with their sister (SKYPE, email, texting, IM, good old fashioned letter writing). I will be thinking of all of you!
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