Friday, May 17, 2013

Read Everything Even If You Think It Won't Be Useful

This is directed mainly at those pre-adoptive parents but I think every adult with children in their lives could benefit.  All those books, pamphlets and materials that you are asked to read throughout the adoption process can be really repetitive, somewhat scary and contradictory.  Read them anyway.  It will prepare you even if you don't think you will encounter any of them, I'm assuring you that sometime in your journey you will.  Maybe right after your child arrives home, maybe years down the road, maybe not even in relation to your own child.

I am constantly running into circumstances either with Lucas and Eli or with others, that directly relate to items that were covered.  Things that at the time I was reading didn't hit home or I couldn't relate to. 

The single best thing I learned from all of it was to view motivations for actions and behaviors from a broader  base of knowledge.  Don't judge and react from the surface level.  When you have that "Ah! Hah!" moment of understanding a child's (in some cases - adult) behavior for more than it's appearance, every book, article or conversation clicks and you are glad you had the tools in your tool box.

Another piece of my mind:  If all parents were required to study, read, undergo inspection and navigate the bureaucracy that adoptive parents do.....children and the world at large would be a better place.

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