Sunday, April 14, 2013

People Ask The Most Amazing Things

Mike and I are somewhat used to being asked amazing, thoughtful, outlandish and heartfelt questions about Lucas and Eli's adoption.  We've had a lot of practice in the past 4 years of answering, not answering, deciphering the motivation behind questions and being amazed at people's overall interest...good and bad.

For the most part Lucas and Eli don't generally experience questions from adults, there have been a few but not many and generally with one of us there to direct or deflect as necessary.  Their friends are another matter.  

Usually they come home from school and tell us questions they were asked and how they answered and then check to see if they answered the question accurately or will talk about things that the question may have started them thinking about.  We've not had that many chances to hear these questions from their friends.  Generally when friends come to play it's about playing not question and answer time.

Recently on the way to a movie we were able to glimpse a picture of the kinds of questions they are asked by friends.  It let us hear what other kids are thinking and wondering about the boys' lives....let's face it kids have their own thought process and when any of you figure it out please let the rest of us know.

This particular friend of Lucas is very bright, inquisitive and a sponge for knowledge.  He's just curious not malicious. Totally out of no where,  Mike and I hear him say from the back seat, "Lucas did you have a dad in the Philippines?"  "You lived in an orphanage right?  What's that gotta be like?"

We listened to how Lucas chose to answer, not answer and talk about the pieces he was comfortable with.  Later after we got home, he wanted to know if he answered "right".  I told him there isn't any right or wrong just what he wanted to share and what he wanted to keep private.  I asked him again if it was ok for me to continue sharing as much as I do.  His answer slays me, "Yep.  You do it, you talk a lot and I don't like to say that many words."

We all know that the early life experiences of Lucas and Eli and that of their friends have little to nothing in common.  It will be interesting to see at what point if ever their friends have their curiosity and questions met and we experience less questions of what was and more what is.  Time will tell.

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