Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dealing

We do a lot of that at our house when it comes to the boys' previous life experiences and memories.

A person wouldn't think that with there only being a year difference in their ages that their memories and experiences would be so varied. Some of it is that Lucas is much more verbal and can express things better. Eli is becoming more willing to talk about his earlier years but he is a very in the moment kid.

One of the "dealing" situations we run into is when the boys bring up an experience from the Philippines and what they think they saw and what probably was happening are two very different things. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot and I do mean a lot of things that they tell us about in great detail that no kid should witness but thank goodness as of yet they've not pieced the truth of these experiences together.

Other times, there are things we have to point out the truth of what was happening for safety sake. For instance, today Lucas was telling us he could "hold" fire in his hands because he saw a man do it in the Philippines. Okay....much discussion and detective work along with a whole lot of fill in the blank led us to the conclusion that they'd gone to a circus/magic show where he saw this performed. Now our next "dealing" session is getting him to understand it was a trick and not something he can do. Sometimes I'd like to get a hold of those who exposed these kids to so much and didn't bother to provide the guidance and explanations for the experience.

Our safety issues, when the boys first arrived, dealt with crossing streets, strangers, allergic reactions and them getting lost. Now it's moved up a level to constantly explaining real and make believe. I feel bad when they are enjoying a show or whatever and we have to point out that it's make believe so they don't actually try it themselves. It dims the child like wonder in their eyes and feels like you've just revealed secrets of Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

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