Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I Don't Remember Visayan and That's Not My Grandma

We knew it was happening but it's a little sad to realize that the boys are now to the point that they remember only two words in Visayan which is the dialect they spoke in the Philippines.

Lucas was in the middle of a conversation and suddenly said, "I don't remember Visayan. I know English." He sat there a second and continued on. Later I asked him if that worried him (he is a worrier) and he said no because no one knows it here, not even Eli. Kind of sad. We had hoped maybe (and naively) that because they had each other to speak Visayan with that perhaps they'd retain some. Eli hasn't had much since spring. The more English they acquire the less they have of their native language.

A lot of people would say what's the big deal with that? It just seems like it's one more piece of their past that is gone, one more piece of their heritage that is changed. We, as adults, knew this would most likely be the case but you can still hope.

What surprises me the most is that Lucas doesn't seem to be concerned. It used to freak him out when he couldn't come up with the Visayan or Tagalog word for something. This time it was different in that he was "okay" with knowing he doesn't remember. I don't know if he just is more comfortable with his knowledge of English, that he knows he can communicate or if it's become comfortable enough here that he feels it's ok to let go.

His other revelation that night was to say that he now knows that his foster mom in Manila was not his "real" grandma (lola) because his real grandmas are Grandma Ruth and Grandma Dona Mae they are HIS family. This was a gigantic step because family relationships have probably been one of the toughest things to explain to the boys. Progress is not without sacrifices.

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